Monday, May 24, 2004

A must for every woman. I have finally decided to put my soft, gentle and sensitive side to good use :) While browsing through the Miss Universe contestants (the official web site has videos as well of the participants) I decided to serve billions of Indian girls in a meaningful fashion. I can't speak for the world but in India there is a standard set of q&a a damsel has to be familiar with to do well in this pageant contests. Having been a long standing "critique" of these socially meaningful events, its time now to pass on the mammoth volume of priceless information to future generations. Given below is a compilation of must-know answers that no young Indian lady should leave home without:

1. Who's been the biggest influence in your life ?
- MOTHER. It doesn't matter if she is a raging alcoholic with a twisted sense of humor - momma is always the best. So when they ask you "Who's your daddy?" - breathe in and say its Momma Dear.

2. Describe your self in one word.
- Aha you have a range of options for this one. Choose from - Loving, Compassionate (which is what the present Miss India uses), Confident (you bet you are - you are wearing a swim suit and facing the world) and Dedicated. You get a bonus point if you can give the answer with a fake twinkle in your well glittered eyes.

3. If you had to choose between beauty and brains which one would you settle for?
- Say Brains coz there is a good chance you will need it. However, you should ideally say Beauty coz no one has ever seen this question being hurled at an ugly woman in a pageant contest, who then proclaims to the modern world - "See, this is where brains got me". So be thankful that beauty got you to a podium where you gave tons of brainy women the satisfaction that it's difficult to have it all.

Yes, I am jobless to even start writing on this topic, but not so jobless to just go on - I suddenly have better things to do - gotta catch a movie. So cheerios.

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