Friday, January 21, 2005

The Single most important reason
I was talking to Mummum on the phone and she informed me that two of my neighbors who are of my age are getting married. Some third neighbor sympathized with my mom on this regard. "Your son is still unmarried, right?" she enquired with a tone of pity. Now my mom, like most other moms, believes in a golden rule - DO NOT BRING HER CHILDREN INTO THE EQUATION if the equation aint pleasant. "He can get married if he wants," Mummum, I believe, plunged in. "However, he is doing a PhD and doesn't want to get married till he is 28."

That's all I was told abt the conversation but I believe there was more to it than what greets the ear. This was Mummum's way (albeit subtle) of informing me that some of the people who were waiting for the bus with me have already boarded it. We all know that the bus doesn't make too many trips. Many of my family members feel that I should board the bus fast or I might have to hitch-hike with existing passengers. (Sorry, moi is never at ease with the metaphors.)

Over this vacation Mummum and Bubin brought up the topic of marriage quite a few times. Sometimes subtly over lunch table and at times blatantly before finishing dinner. They wanted me to "get settled", a thought whose mention itself is enuff to unsettle me. So here are a set of excuses that I have either used or will be using or have asked my family members to use if the topic of marriage and me are brought up in the same sentence:

1. I am too young (As if; this is the one Mummum uses for all my eager/curious/inquisitive family members.)

2. PhD is very stressful (As if; this is the one I use for Mummum.)

3. I have an American girlfriend and we presently live-in (I jokingly mentioned this to an aunt and she started laughing hysterically. I don't know if it was the thought of a zebra looking niece/nephew or the thought of a girl staying with me under one roof that made her crack up. Whatever be the case her laugh made me sulk.)

4. I might be gay (As if; but this one really scares my mom; "and what abt your ex girl friends?" she would poke in agitatedly. "We broke up because I'm gay," I told her with a straight face. Mummum dint know how to react. Even the most modern member of my family is not at ease with homosexual jokes.)

5. Pummy (my sis) is still not married. How can I marry before her? (This works the best and even elevates my image of a doting brother. This is also the reason I periodically bug Pummy's male friends to ensure that she remains single.)

However, these reasons are fast running out of steam and as more neighbors head for the bandwagon I have to come up with better excuses. "Help," yelped the farmer boy!

Hey, have you tried "How am I going to support her? I am a grad student. Boo Hoo."
cheap shot :(( i was talking abt "excuses" not the actual reason duh. now that u know the main reason, good friend - send cash
should i be worried that nobody wants to marry me/get their children married to me?
i give you my word samit that i'll get my daughter or son married to you if you want
I liked the doting brother concept.. :), just ensure that your dear sis wont whack you one on ur head, coz it means that she has to get married soon.. :)
I tried the doting sister concept before, but no one bought it.. :) (my brother is 3 yrs younger to me :D)
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