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Friday, February 25, 2005

Asian D-lite 

Now for those who don't know us, the fact is that Subs and I are basically news loving people with a global outlook. Why else would the two of us tune in for Chinese News on the International Channel last evening? Ok! Who am I kidding! The fact is that Subs and I are bored grad students. We don't care much for the news. Subs just likes Asian women and that's why we were watching the show. The two of us tried making sense of the show till we realized that only one lady was talking (that too with a stoic expression) and the other one was just nodding aggressively. That's when we had this idea of sitting in the university shuttle, putting on a vulgar expression and talking in a fictional language with a few English words sprinkled in.

"Essha neee plu plu finki winki. Very hot! Very very hot! Hmmmm! gulu zugu zugoo. Big Big! Very very big masho! tasho ni poopool. Waki wapa. Two girls and five boys pupu. Fukoou two girls.! Gulu booloo. Thrinko Very hot!"

Obviously the way people's minds work - a few people will object. Some will even call us crude. The mothers will ask their kids not to look at us. Someone will even threaten to throw us off the bus. That's when Subs will start crying. I'll then explain to the people in broken English that we are from Sundarbans in India (we are called Sunder Bunnies) and that Subs was saying:

"He is feeling very tired. It's very hot! Very Very hot! He even had a bad exam. Big big! Very very big paper! Nobody will pass it. Only two girls and five boys will. Just two girls ! Very depressed. Plus it's very hot!"

Seeing the crying Subs and hearing his sad story some Asian girl will come and apologize to Subs and marry him and we'll all stay happily together in one house. Obviously, because of the new entrant, all of us will save on valuable rent! What say?

Comments:
Please refer to this link for an analysis of your friends problems.
 
Ani, Subs has already read ur analysis and strongly recommends it to all Asian loving people :)
 
Ani & Sagnik, that was indeed a good one:)
 
The other outcome of that story is also the fact that, your made up language and way of saying things, might end up being very close to, say, Uzbekistani and then, the Uzbekistanian next to you, gets up, whips out his favorite illegal assault rifle....

As you can plainly see, being a graduate student isn't the reason for being bored. You can be very bored, even after leaving the fire and brimsone of graduate hell. Case and point.
 
@Vignesh - you can't get ur apt mate an Aisan wife and urself the option of reduced rent without a lil risk :) can you?
 
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