Tuesday, February 01, 2005

The Curious Cousin
"So what all have you done out there?" S asked me. His eyes glowing with excitement, waiting to inhale a saga of lecherous proportions.

S is my cousin. Around ten years younger to me. Pretty much of that age when he has heard abt the birds and bees but not realized how difficult it is to actually create the buzz. So while my uncles and aunts and grandmothers and granduncles asked me abt food, accommodation and university facilities, S quietly (but excitedly) waited for his turn. Soon he took me aside and hushed in a voice loud enuff for others to hear. Instantly, a round of calculated silence covered the room. The others also wanted to know if I was walking on the wild rope, but hadn't dared to ask.

"Nothing!" I sighed, realizing that I would probably get more juicy stories if I pestered S.

"Come on. I have seen Baywatch!" S replied, this time in a tone that was genuinely subdued.

Baywatch and Bold and the Beautiful had single handedly increased the onus on Indian grad students. People genuinely feel that willing women are waiting eagerly across coffee tables for us. "Excuse me Sir, what would you like to have?" "Hmmm! Make it a latte and I'll take two spoons of sex with it ..." - that's the impression people have.

I tried convincing S that the number of women I meet in SD on an annual basis itself should be a matter of concern for my family, leave alone knowing them "closely" (or as the prude say "intimately").

S didn't look convinced. He wanted to make me his hero. He wanted to go back to his school mates and narrate stories of my conquests but the pacifist king had disappointed the subjects waiting war.

"You have seriously done noooooothing ?" a last feeble question came out, waiting for what now seemed a well hidden secret.

"Not that I haven't done anything." I said quite loudly.

S's eyes glowed again. The smile came back. The hero has regained the throne; defeating the ones who had doubted his libido. "What???" he asked again. "What?" he echoed instantly. The rest of the family was listening too, albeit "discreetly".

"I completed my MS last year." I answered and smiled. Sorry this story of sex only had an "anti climax".

Tsk tsk. Let the chap live vicariously through your imagination at least, if not reality?
:) how abt i do a few things that would actually evoke (or justify) viacarious feelings :(
Well of course! But when that's missing, there's always the imagination to fall back on, especially when it comes to regaling the less-privileged cousins with your tales. That's all me saying :)
Loved the punch-line!

And you could have considered ending the "I completed my MS last year" comment with a private wink, leaving him to wonder what "MS" really means :D
Now Rajesh - that was something I did not think of :) Brilliant!
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