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Monday, February 14, 2005

How to be a good boyfriend - A Valentine's Day Special
It's time to pass on the knowledge. Having run a fast lap and unable to run any further right now, the runner longingly looks at the eager hands and motivated eyes waiting in front; and hands over the baton.

1. She's always right and if you don't agree that she's right, you'll be left.

2. Everybody else's boy friend will always be better than you. They'll always do things that you don't and will strategically avoid the ones you shouldn't. So keep in mind - if things go wrong just become someone else's boy friend :)

3. Every time she says, "How could you do this???" IT'S NOT A QUESTION. So don't even try to answer.

4. No matter what you do, her best friend will always hate you. She might justify it by calling you a creep or can just say, "I don't know. He just appears strange!" So search for an unpleasant woman who has no friends whatsoever - that's the key to this lock.

5. She needs more "space" - no matter where you romance; large empty parks or claustrophobic locked cars, the woman will always need more space. That's why people gift heart shaped balloons.

6. Attention will be the driving tension. You'll never be paying her enuff of it and she'll pay you back in unkind. The only exception is the courtship period - after that the word court will only means legality. So let the gifts and compliments flow ... for that matter let them gush.

7. She can always do better than you but she is the best thing to have ever happened to u. Accept this doctrine - it makes it easier to plead forgiveness when one of the above rules are broken.

Shall stop at Seven - hoping that's lucky for all.

Comments:
"The only exception is the courtship period - after that the word court will only means legality".......

Brilliant!!! :)..Shaggy, as Rathish puts it, am I glad you write so much and so well!!.
 
Thanks a lot:) and Happy Vanetine's Day to you.
 
This is our sad fate. If only we could be chauvinistic bastards, treat them like dirt and generally be obnoxious, they'd just keep coming back to us for more.
 
very tricky Ani - if were chauvinisic bastards (cb), treat them like dirt (td) and generally obnoxious (go) they would have come back for more - but sice weren't like that they now leave us for more "claiming" we are cb, td, go - very confusing - much like them :)
 
For #3):
Send a card with:
"All my life I have been encouraged to be logical and rational. I have pursued this to the lengths of becoming a computer engineer, and in all things my head have ruled.
Since I've met you, I have been dazzled by your beauty, your warmth, your kindness and personality to the extent that all rational thought flies out the window whenever I am near you or think of you.
For the first time in my life, it is no longer my head but my heart that rules. Please forgive me when I do silly things in my befuddlement. Teach me how to think straight with my heart, or else I shall be lost and stumbling always."

If she still holds a grudge after that, you're on your own, I'm afraid.
 
Sivani (a) you should contact Hallmark and make some serious money :) and (b) I've tried saying similar things and there is one standard feminine reply that nullifies all these pleas "YOU ARE A LIAR. I DON'T BELIEVE A SINGLE WORD YOU ARE SAYING" :(
 
Twelve words? Wow. For me, it's mostly the deadly duo..."just go". Which basically means a couple of more hours (and money) on the phone bill:((
 
My mistake, 'twas thirteen. Lucky, or mebbe not!
 
Biplab - to make a bad translation from one of my fav Hindi romatic movies - small small things keep happening in big big places :)
 
You speaketh from experience, it seems? Happy Valentine's! :)
 
Megha, experience makes a man wise and lonely :) Happy Valentine's Day to you too.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Well..my last post had more errors than what i usually make in my relationships :p
Experience is a great teacher but it brings in exorbitant bills!
Wonderful read! Happy Valentine's day to you 2!
 
Hey Kumari, Thanks! Happy V Day to you too (but I guess it's over for u in India)
 
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