Monday, February 21, 2005

Marriage - the key to all locks
I have a few friends who are married. Some of them are students like me, while some of them work. Some of them know how to dance while other don't. Some of them like movies while others prefer sex; BUT all of them have a wife and quite a few of them think that's something that makes them superior. I call it - "strife by wife".

The other day I met this guy who I used to know quite well for a while. We used to discuss food, movies, women, ice cream and all other cool things till he got married. Now, he HAS to behave differently from me. If we do the same things then it's like him agreeing that marriage had no value add for him. So he has to add the "I'm married angle" to everything! Whether the angle is the right angle I dunno, but it does make heads turn 90 degrees.

"Hey, you should see the flies we have in our house," I said. "Man, you all should learn to be more clean. I'm telling you, after marriage your wife won't tolerate it. You should check out my house." Dong! Married Boy - One, Sagnik - Zero. "Hey! Wanna come for a movie?" "Hmmm! Dude, I think I'm too old for regular movies. You'll understand what I'm saying once you get married!" Dong! Married Boy - Two, Sagnik - Zero. "Man, you should get married. Home cooked food is sooo much better." Dong! "OK! That joke was silly. Dude, you all should behave your age. Get married ..." Dong! Dong! Dong! That was a shot below the belt. Sagnik knocked out by married man! Crowd exults! Married man's wife comes and gives the champion a hug. Sagnik looks around for some single female sympathy in the audience while the referee counts next to him, "twenty three and still not married, twenty four and still not married, twenty five ...".

Before Married-Boy goes to meet Sagnik, he repeats the following lines 36, 452 times to himself … I am married and totally happy; I am so different from the rest of them; my life is so much more beautiful…
So, it’s a battle of wits between Married-And-Smug-About-It versus Single-And-Smug-About-It…
Round 1: to Married Boy…
The war is still out there… Will Sagnik leave the battle-field? Or champion the cause of the Singletons? Stay tuned…
it's an unfair battle - it's married boy and his married wife vs. Sagnik. It's like WWF, where two players are beating up one. But don't u worry, in all these fights at some point a fat dude with a moustache, wearing nothing but a skimpy underwear, comes and helps the underdog :))
eh! i qualify on one of the three counts that describe your savior .. so here goes ..

your weapon against married guy .. stories from his bachelor life!! Ofcourse here you will actually have the full confidence of the married-guy's wife. you can be as creative as you wanna ..

"hey married-guy remember the time we gave that gal a wedgie!!"
"clean .. yeah man .. you have come a long way from your "an underwear for life" philosophy .."
"... but didn't you marry her for the money? i mean with dr.laconte screwing you over for that hot blonde .. you had to find funding didn't you?"
"did you tell her you have syphillis?"

Fat guy-w/o mush-and wearing more than just underwear.
@Sanketh - thank you! never tried that but im sure it will work like magic. sadly, the guy i was refering to keeps his wife away from all his "unmarried friends" ... but i can always call and leave voice messages :))
# define WIFE WorriesInvitedForEver

So cheer up! :)
@Indra - it's more like shaadi ka laddu - you want to taste it before it get's stuck in the throat :)
Enjoyed your take on the married guy vs. single guy.

An ongoing battle of the species.

@lisa - thank you!
The key to all locks?

Hmm, and here I thought the typical bachelor's view of marriage is the padlock to all doors.
@Sivani - that view changes 2 months into the marriage :) fter that the padlock shuts
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