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Saturday, February 12, 2005

Wanted: Fake Wife
What's common to a friend I haven't seen in three and half years, a cousin I haven't seen in four and a half years and another cousin who I don't think I've ever seen???
They are all getting married, I'm invited to all their weddings, I can't make it to any of them and I HAVE TO BUY EACH ONE OF THEM A GIFT.

That's it. Grrrrrrrr! I scream. For starters, I'm nowhere close to my own marriage (sob sob), secondly I don't know these people too well and thirdly ... well, who needs a third reason!

So how did I land myself in this situation? Well, the two cousins were family affairs. One of them met me over messenger and said, "Hey, any chance that you'll be in India in February end?" Given that I was in India in January and he dint have the decency to meet me then, my chances of making a Feb trip for his wedding are pretty slim. The second cousin's third aunt or someone came to my house and gave a card and as far as my "friend" is concerned - that's a very interesting story. If this guy and I were in the same office, we wouldn't have spoken. We dint speak much in college either but thanks to the notion of an e-group we have been "in touch" it seems. So now that he has sent a mass invitation for his wedding, some clever guy has come up with this clever idea of everybody else in that e-group buying him an expensive gift. To make matters worse, the guys in US are expected to pay more for the gift. The grad student looked at computer screen and said - Grrrrr!

So I've decided too - come Valentine's Day, I'm informing all and sundry that moi is getting married. The alibi is perfect - it was sudden but romantic Valentine's Day decision. I shall follow the lead of these people too and graciously invite them to San Diego for the wedding; shall initiate the topic of buying me a gift myself on the e-group and invite every cousin of mine and their cousins as well. All I need now is a girl to play along with me - to send back the quintessential marriage photographs to all those who "missed the wedding." It's a full proof plan - none of these folks will meet me in the next ten years. So if I'm married by then they'll just assume it's the same girl and if moi is still single - well, no one shows their anger on a middle aged unmarried guy! So if any kind woman, or even a womanly looking man, reading this post wants to join me in this ploy - Aho! If not - please wish me a Happy Marriage and since all of you are "invited", at least buy me some gift! Over and out!

Comments:
hats off to your scams man. how convoluted can they get?
i think i shd ctrl-c ctrl-v it onto my blog .. or even better .. send it out as a fwd ..

Hail thee O Shagadelic one.

Sanketh
 
dude, help me out with this scam and we can cut a deal :)
 
What's the gift you have in mind O Wise One? ;-)
 
the (not so) wise one is a grad student = can' be chooser = any gift will do :)
 
Couldn't get any better!!
 
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