Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Too Bad 

I read this article where they mentioned the Bad Sex Awards. First of all, even though this award has been going on for a while, how lame are the awards we have? Can you imagine the set of things that are likely to follow next - bad opening scene in a drama award, bad male character description award, bad fight sequence between a man and an animal award etc. etc. etc. Yanyway, moi digressing. The reason for this post is that the "award winning bad entry" can be found here. I read it and I'm sure I can do a lot worse. See it's a different thing when people beat me at doing something good but I can't just stay quiet and witness others beating me at being bad now (btw, does this make me a bad winner?). So here's my entry for the most grotesque, crass and tasteless description of a sex scene. Please, good people, support me.

"They did bang bang all night, till they could bang bang no more,
They did bang bang all day and all their thingies turned sore!"

Beat that!

You are a very disturbed man!
"Bang bang, even more bang bang" :)
don't worry with u r short two line verse u are bang on target.....u r the best among the bad....now u need not bang u r head anymore....hehehehe
Bang does have a funny twang to it :)
@Ari and Kumari - btw i just figured that i could refer to the two of you as Kum+Ari - i dont want to be the best amongst bad or have a twang - this post wanted to be the worst of the worst
Which reminds me of Philip Roth's Portnoy's Complaint that I'm reading right now.

If anyone ever wanted to know what teenage boys spend 98% of their time thinking about, and what they actually do about it, in excruciating, graphic detail, this is the book for them.

It also happens to be a very good book (that is the scant bits inbetween the aforementioned scenes), but definitely NOT for the faint-hearted.
BTW, no fair to you for putting this up during daytime. Now I'll have to wait until I get home tonight before I get to click that link. Our company has fairly liberal internet use policies, but probably not THAT liberal.
@Sivani - shit! I'm noloner a teenager - I ave reached that age where I have to pretend to care abt the remining 2% :) BTW, the link is a news link - so no one should have any problem :)
Shaggy, 98% of your thoughts as a teenager are going to fructify in two weeks time in the form of a Grand Bong Assoc Conference to be held at u r apartment. So, right now you should only think about the potential chief guest for this rendevous....shall we import him from the middle of the Indian Ocean ....or the one who has experience on his side...tell me please.
@Ari - don't dare me to actually arrange that - you know that many of them would love to get nack in "touch" with you :))
I prefer the word 'boink'. So much more depth.
@Ani - They went bang and boink and Kaboom Kaboom
All night long, the bride and the groom!
why? why? why? why do you torture me so, dear friend! i have realised that ur potential to write "badly" about sex stems from ur complete lack of experience!
@sivani: well sagnik isnt a teenager yet. he is five (maybe six.. or was it four? i dunno!)
now now, Chitra! Don't rub it in so much.
@Chitra - shall ignore the first pasrt of the comment :) and as for the second part - I am seven years old - grrrrr!
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