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Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Interview Info 

Disclaimer: Moi just got up from a continuous eight hour long coding session. So anything remotely weird can be attributed to mzhdfkhdjl (whatever that means)!

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and she mentioned that her parents tried to secretly make her meet a prospective match. Apparently, during the course of the almost-date, the guy wanted to find out if she could cook, sing, dance, had ex-boyfriends etc. etc. etc. That's when I realized that this is a very common Indian trait - where the guy interviews the girl and does a match against his checklist!!! A preposterous, but real, Indian custom :(

Seriously, a typical Bengali arranged marriage involves fifteen people from the guy's side visiting the girl. Several rounds of interviews take place. The biggest recruiting responsibilities lie on the guy's mom. She smiles less, talks more and raves aplenty. The typical questions the girl is likely to face include:

1. Can you cook?
2. Do you plan to study after marriage?
3. Can you stitch/weave/paint etc. ?
4. My son is very this and very that (this and that can mean anything from quiet to boisterous to smart to supersmart). Can you keep up with him?

Throughout this interview the girl is supposed to keep quiet. Nothing more than a yes or a no is warranted. She should pretend to count the tiles on the floor and answer is gentle nods. That earns her flying colors.

After the mother is done gloating and interviewing, the guy's father gets a chance. He is supposed to do the family check.

1. Mr. Bose, you said you are a civil engineer? How long will it be before you retire?
2. So the house you said you have in NeverEverLand - is it one storeyed or two storeyed? Are the toilets Indian style?

Finally, if time permits (often in the marriage season, parents cramp up multiple interviews on the same day), the older members get a chance. There's always the deaf grandfather accompanying the guy and he is woken up to ask his quota of one question.

"So can you cook Ma?" the old man would ask, hoping that the new entrant would spicen up his receding taste sense.

"Baba, we have already asked her that," the mother would jut in. "She said she can cook both chicken and fish. However, she can cook only one vegetarian dish. Hmmm!"

At this point the girl's mother would jump in at her daughter's defense. "No, no! You can be rest assured Mrs. Roy that before the wedding I'll teach Rupa at least three more vegetarian dishes ... specially the korma!" ...

I personally find this whole thing very amusing. I have seen my uncles and aunts and some cousins go through this grill and have often pondered upon what I'd do if put in such a situation.

I don't wanna have an arranged marriage but if I ever have to go to "interview a girl" I have secretly fancied asking her, "Tell me three of your favorite knock knock jokes!" That's all I care for (a hot sister-in-law would be a plus). Wonder which ones she'll crack. Hmmm!

Comments:
Lolz !
All I know is that, my cousin is going to get married soon, guy's fixed [you know, the love-arranged kind] ! But the formal interview session is still left.
We are, in all 10 sisters and have planned to grill the guy during such interview sessions. And mez just imagining, how would jiju react if all of his sis-in-law wants to go for shopping with him !

Jiju, can you cook pork, mushroom , beef ?
Do you know how to woo a guy ?
Do you know what is blogging ?
What will you use, vaccum cleaner or broom while cleaning the house ?

Lolz ! ;)

Waise, you can ask if she knows what is so sticky about the stick figures !
 
Fat chance dude. I really don't think you are going to escape the "interview" if you don't find a girl first. Even then the chances are slim...
 
Hmm...well hopefully everyone isn't like that (so I'm being told!!)

Incidently, what do you plan to do if she does know a few good jokes? Knock her down with your cartoons?
 
With the changing world, Have you ever thought you could be interviewed.

Dude when ever you go for an "interview" can I tag along. I am also looking for someone who has a hot elder sister.:)
 
I know a friend who had the most funny way of bride-searching..
He'd take the prospective women out for a coffee.. and at the end of the evening/date, he'd ask them.. "So whats the third law of thermodynamics?"..:-)

If the women gave a startled look of horror, he'd reject.. His philosophy in life was - whats in life without a sense of humor..
Needless to say, he married the first girl who laughed at that question..
 
@debalina - mushroom, beef, pork? - what kind of food tstes do you cousins have??? :O :))

@flamingcyan (now the name sounds like a color) - dude, i don't think i will even be considered for the interviews :) unless of course kind people like you refer me :)

@ideasmithy - marry her instantly. no further questions asked - except for maybe "can you cook, sing, dance, romance, fight ..." :)

@gvenum - we have a deal - alone i'm unfit for interviews but together with you ... i'm still unfit for interviews *muhahahaha*

@rt - third law of thermodynamics in a date - shouldn't the answer be "i'm hot but you are hotter" :))
 
Dude, you're gonna rock at these interviews :)
"I'm hot, but you're hotter"! Man, either she'll marry you immeiately, or she'll have you thrown out of her house!
 
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