Thursday, May 05, 2005

A known fact ... 

A conversation from 15 minutes back.

C: I'm upset with you.
Me: Why?
C: You know why.
Me: No! I don't.
C: You know it very well.
Me: I sincerely don't.

A quick question for all the men who read this blog. How many of you haven't ever tasted some flavor of this conversation? I believe the answer is almost zero - nil - zilch. The above mentioned technique is something women have used masterfully over the years to attack the male mind. And it works like magic. Coz never in the history of the sexes has this conversation taken place:

He: What happened?
She: You know.
He: Yeah! I do. Surprise. Gotcha!

Nopey dopey. The fairer sex don't play that fair. They give you the trailer to a terrifying movie that's likely to follow but never tell you anything abt when the movie is actually gonna release. So we men do the worst possible thing - we start guessing.

He: What is it? Are you upset coz I left the toilet seat up?
She: No. You know what it is.
He: Is it because I looked at that girl on the road?
She: No. You know what it is.

In quick succession the man accepts everything - from being an illegitimate prick to being the reason why India lost the cricket match. And still the woman sits and nods her head. The pendulum signals the infinite rage and boy does the rage follow ...

Men on the other hand can never control themselves. The above situation if reversed is likely to be like this.

She: You look quiet. What's wrong?
He: Nothing.
She: Cool. I had a hectic day at work.

That's it. The man will then jump to his own defense and pour his heart out. "You did this. You forgot abt our date. You did that ... blah blah blah." To all this the woman will silently say "I just told you I had a terrible day at work and still ... you ... just forget it."

Saying this she'll chew her lips and keep quiet. The man will stop shouting. He'll look at her, wonder what to say and innocently ask, "What happened now?"

"You know what happened," the lady answers. "You know it!"

Ahh.. I can see it now... all those women... cursing Sagnik for telling the world of thier secrets... not that it was much of a secret... but having it out in the open like this...

Viva la revolution !!
sagnik, i suggest u start keeping that famous butterfly moustache and go around the block calling urself Shagurstum Fuhrer...

the rate at which u are going, khub shiggiri mathae bom porbey...

he he...


Love, laughter n keep the faith

I am so proud of myself...and you are getting smarter Sagnik :)
Ah ! I suspect that's how J K Rowling came up with "You Know Who" phrase in Harry Puttar tales.
@vignesh - shit i sound appropriate for the term "women's secret bearer" :))

@namesake - that meeting in Kol you suggested - well you better be careful when we meet :)

@kumari - all my so called smartnes comes at a time when its of no use to me :))

@ag - :) right now there are a zillion fan's of the franchise searching for you :)
Lolz...just hoping that my ex, current and future bfz don't even have an oz of knowledge about this..

Should have been world's best kept secrets.... ;;) [batting eye-lids]

You know why. ;)
@debalina - send me their contact info and I shall deliver it to them personally via email (does that even make sense)
Just for this post...I will not take digs at you for a week...errr..may be 3 days....Hats off Mr Nandy.
@gvenum - come on now - i dont think i deserve this much :))
Hey Sagnik, I think you should fear for your life. One doesn't talk about such things in the presence of the other side. Haven't you learnt that? :)

A conversation overheard shortly after this post went live -

She(1): He's talking.
She(2): We must take care of him.
She(1): Yes. We must.
She(2): It's a pity. He was doing so well.
She(1): There will be no Mercy.
She(2): That's true. Mercy's on vacation. We'll have to hire someone else.
She(1): Hire whoever it takes. He must be eliminated.
She(2): But what about the blog? We can't leave it lying around.
She(1): Then destroy the blog. And eliminate the witnesses too. By the time we are done, there should be no url left.

Thought for the year -
Silence is golden, and women are experts at metallurgy.
@rajesh - now i can't decide whether the conversation you posted was better or the last line that summarizes it all - brilliant :) btw, i recently saw your photograph - i always imagined you to have a moustache and was surprised to see otherwise :)
You saw a photograph of me without a moustache? Wow. You've stumbled upon some really antique photo then. Must be of me when I was 14 :) I've never shaved the hair on my upper lip. Ever.


Or rather -

@rajesh - your comments are becoming O Henry-ish. The last line is the killer one - the first ever mushy emoticon.

On a sep note - i saw your snap on orkut. if that is you then you dont have a moustache and you aren't 14 and if that aint you then that aint you :)
That snap is me with my moustache/goatee/french-beard/watchamacallit trimmed reaaallly close :)
@Sagnik: You never know when it will come of use :)
@Rajesh: That was a really awesome comment and incredulous theory! :)
@rajesh - point taken - hairy did meet sally

@kumari - all my theories are rusting - waiting to be used - help woman help :)
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