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Saturday, May 14, 2005

Questions from a sleepy mind ... hmmm 

It's no secret that after all I'm indeed a serious PhD student who's constantly trying to come up with mind baffling problems that'll change the way mankind thinks and functions (like right now I'm wondering if the foot-nails have the same growth rate as the hand ones - wait till I nail this problem down). So here are some major issues that have left me confused. If any of you kind ones have any answers - do let me know.

1. How do you check the time on your watch during a conversation without making the other person realize and/or feel bad?
- I used to pretend to adjust my watch and sneak in a glance but I've got caught doing it more than enough times to invalidate that option :(

2. What do you do if you are looking (or is the term oggling) at someone and suddenly have the person look back at you?
- I've tried the "not oggling" option but some of you women are sooo darn pretty that I failed and then I tried pretending that I'm actually looking at something else but then some of you women are so darn pretty that I failed.

3. Have you ever had a talk with someone where halfway down the talk you realize that you have no clue what the person has been saying all this while AND suddenly before you know the person asks you "So what do you think?" So what do you think then?
- I normally say "Hmmm!" in a pensive way but I'm sure we can do better than that.

Comments:
1. I look at their watch. Something like, nice watch, nice nails usually works well.

2. I just keep looking. And slightly shift focus. The idea being that if the person looks at you looking at them and you dont turn away, they then conclude that you weren't looking at them in the first place, and were instead looking at something behind them or something. It works. Trust me.

3. There isn't one thing that can cover up there. You are smart guy, Im sure you can wing it most of the time ! At meetings, the best ones are Lets take that offline and I agree with what [someone else] said. Both work to buy you some time and create confusion (which in turn can be used to buy time to figure out what the person was talking about in the first place)
 
@vignesh

what if u wanna look at their watch more than once???

I usually keep my cell phone around... with a timer at some odd time. when it rings I go... damn!! please excuse me... and i sneak a look... and if i dont put the timer on, its anyway ok to look at a phone, u know, check whether u have any missed calls or not...

i use vignesh's idea a lot... i keep staring... it works two ways, i can stare at them a bit more ;)), and they think that I am not looking at them in the first place, and if a friend turns up behind them, thats brilliant!!! I go Hey man!!! hows life???

i am a would be lawyer, so i normally get very brash on these situations and say "oops sorry, I wasnt paying attention, could u go over that once more please, my mistake." that usually quells their pride, and puts me in the wrong, giving me another chance to catch up anyway... its ok for a lawyer to do that... absolutely no-no for a management pro to act that way... neway, i am supposed to look for loopholes, or cover them up, so in meetings i cant afford to do that all the time...


Love, laughter n keep the faith

Sagnik
 
My solutions:

1. Check your cellphone for the time...no one can tell what's being displayed on the tiny screen.

2. Continue staring. A person is bound to get uncomfortable and shift a bit but you don't shift your gaze...wherin they conclude you were staring through them..into space.

3. There's the infalliable.."Depends..." accompanied with one eyebrow cocked, faint grin and "What would you like me to think?"
 
Just be honest on these issues-
* Ask for the time repeatedly from u r friend and make him/her realise it- or just say, talking to u time flies, see we have been talking for the last 3 min 43 secs and it seems like ages. shud get the message.
* smile, smile- grin, laugh
* Give a confused look- when the other person asks what happened- say, still thinking.

But I have a feeling 99% of the time all these will backfire.
 
@vignesh + namesake + ideasmithy + ari - excellent suggestions and thank you :) i personally need 1 and 2 more than 3 and have fallen into maximum embarrassment coz of 1. However, the good thing abt 1 is that once you make the person realize that you are getting restless the conversation either becomes interesting or stops quickly :)
 
1. get a watch which speaks the time... (sweet girls voice only)

2. if your intention is just to ogle and not impress, get a fake lens spectacle or better a 'hyper sensitive borax lens' that darkens even in room light. (its borax, ain't it?). sometimes a high zoom video camera works (normal cams come with a 10x zoom - that works splendid). if you think you are 007, you could embed it on your spectacle.

3. "i usually dont have an opinion on these matters. its way too complex for me"... "more interesting than my research. hahaha"... "i need time to think" - plethora of other safe options. but all of them put you on the defensive. one way will put you on the offensive -- reply with a question. any question.
 
1. If you need to check the time multiple times during a conversation, either you need to be somewhere else, or you're bored. And if you're bored, then it's okay to look at your watch multiple times. :) If you need to be somewhere else, or are waiting for something, make that very clear, seem distracted everytime, and no offense should be taken.

2. Look at their face, and smile. And then stop looking. There's a fine line between looking and staring. Looking is expected. Women expect to be looked at. Staring is offensive. Women cringe at the thought that someone was staring.

3. I'm sorry, your voice cut out there for a second. Could you repeat that please? :D
 
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