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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

They spotted her :) 

"Pummydidi," the hush voice of G, my "just turned sixteen" cousin, whispers. "How many phone numbers of boys do you have on your cell phone?"

"Lots. Why? You want some?" Pummy says wryly, smiling through her eyes.

The entire Nandy family, that was otherwise busy celebrating G's birthday, paused. The old aunts who were ranting abt aunts that were still absent locked their glares on Pummy. The other cousins who were fighting over something they didn't even remember announced truce. My grandmom had just started telling my mom why she was her favorite daughter-in-law (a battle my mom narrowly won after my uncle's wife said something seemingly rude to grandmom earlier in the day) but she paused too. Pummy had just broken the Golden Rule of Nandy family gatherings. The only men women discussed were relatives and some neighbor's highly adulterous husband. In such a setup Pummy's dry humor acted as a sponge that soaked in the entire gathering's attention.

Some of them looked at my Mom, expecting a harsh reprimanding to follow. "How can the girl talk so loosely about men?" a dozen and a half raised eyebrows seemed to ask. Mummum knows how to handle such situations. "Is the toilet free?" she asks, while making her way towards it.

Pummy knows how to handle these situations too. She smiles just a little bit more at G (who now looks visibly shaken for having started this conversation) and says, "So now that you are sixteen G, do you plan to get a boy friend?"

G's mother, who was cooking in the kitchen, comes running out to protect her daughter's sanctity. "Lunch is ready! Lunch is ready," she shouts. "G quickly go and call everyone else. Go!" she screams.

My grandmom smiles. Having saved G's innocence, my aunt had once again regained her "Number One daughter-in-law" spot.

*****************************************

The reason I narrated this incident was to give people an idea of how conservative my family is. We however stay separately and are considered foreigners who are unaware of the laws of the land. Pummy is the renegade tourist they protect their children from.

Mummum just informed me that recently Pummy and her "good friend" were spotted together by one of my zillion aunts. Amma (grandmom) has already made the customary phone call to Mummum, informing her that "Pummy was seen with some guy." I'm really excited abt what's going to follow. This is going to be comedy at its best. Shall keep you all posted!

Comments:
Sagnik["da":)], let me tell you one little story. Toh during 'those' days, my school had this rule that any student wishing to enter the school premises during school hours, for whatsoever reasons, had to be in school uniform.
So one day, for some reason, I had to go to school for some errand during the lunch break (when is when the great aunty gang came to feed their kids), in uniform ie, and had to go to somewhere around Shakespeare Sarani after that.
Toh later on, that evening, my mom gets a call from X Aunty "Aye jaano, aaj dupurey gari thekey tomar cheleykey Park Street-er morey school uniform-ey dekhlam...kichu money koro na, din kaal ja kharap"
No, I wasn't with a girl (sadly!) and neither was I smoking...but still...!
Thankfully, on that instance, the voice on my side just said "Aaami jaani":)
Talk about Bengali Moms and Didas and Mashis and Pishis and all the taboo's.
And also, when the heck were the din-kaal's bhalo anyways?
 
@biplab[da|di|kaku] - :) i know exactly what you mean. i still remember when some of my aunts caught me having phuchka with a girl :) and dont even get me started on gossiping aunties - i've had painful incidents with the lot @&##@
 
Painful Aunties & Uncles are everywhere.
I did my college in Tricy and used to be 'Outstanding' in class. By outstanding ..I mean always away from class on the pretext of attending some competition or the other. It was the just a way of getting out of the 'extremely conservative' campus.

And guess what this really irked some of my Aunties and Uncles in town. So the rumours always used to go around :)) But my Mom knew me and it was fine.
 
@manchus - oh in my case my mom knew me but my aunties though that they knew me better and then they also knew my mom and ... the story continues :)
 
@sagnik-da: sobi to bujhlam, but did u ever get scolded for being seen in public with a para's naami gunda...well, rana -remember, we saw chal mere bhai together-received that treatment once
 
I think all Indian families are afraid of just that - 'their little one being Spotted'...so the unwritten rule in my house was to bring home any guys i might befriend(which was quite unlikely having studied in an all-girls school all my life)And of course, if Amma didn't like the face, then the guy was 'Bad News' and trust me it has worked always! :)
 
Issh Shaggy-da-jethi...sheshey phuchka!...oshob toh meyera khai shudhu:) "More spicy please" - and hu la la:)
Come on, you knew this was coming!
 
eshob byaparey amar comment na korai bhalo... amar maa kkey ekjon phone korey ekbaar bolechilo...

Person X: jaano Subhra Di, aajkey Sunny key dekhlaam teentey meyer shathey Coffee House ey boshey cigarrete khacchilo...

My mom: O Ma!! tai naaki?? Tumi Coffee House er bhetorey ki korchiley??

Person X: Aami... Aami... Aami aar ki? Baairey diye jacchilam... bhetorey dekhlam aar ki...

My mom: Accha... Ta ami ki korbo??

Person X: Naa, Bujhtei to parcho... Dinkal ja kharap porechey...

My mom: Ta ja bolecho... Tumi oto Coffee House Toffee House er shamney jatayat koro naa huh???

SLAM!!

he he:))

Love, laughter n keep the faith

Sagnik
 
@arijitda - no, mom was very particular abt gunda selection - the rule was simple any guy other than my dad who had a moustache was termed gunda. yeah. it was the specific :)

@Kumari - that way in my house i always encourage mom to allow sister's friends irrespective of their face value coz it's amazing fun ragging them !! :) :)

@biplabda (yes i shall call you da too) - phuchka is a manly food item :) talking abt other scandals, my erstwhile girl friend had come down to Kolkata to meet me and I took her for a family gathering - aaah! some gathering that way :)

@namesake - i shall not tolerate any comment on my blog from a guy who was out alone with three girls :) get lost :))
 
Hope one of those zillion aunties will not get hold of your blog...:)
 
PS:

Shei teentey meye chilo amar bon aar tar bondhu... college er bon naa... cousin... as in my sister!!!

aar taar dui bondhu... jara kina cheley dekhlei "Chol Keliye aashi" boley ebong gaari chalabar shomoi sho-akar bo-akar diye shundor shundor kotha boley... aajki naari aar ki...

ekprokarer gunda botey... without the goph jora!!!

he he... kakima nishcjoi ederkey gunda bolto naa...

:)) ROTFL

Love, laughter n keep the faith

Sagnik
 
Da!

One problem I dont understand bengali! And your blogs are interesting as are the comments, so need to know what's written!

Keep up the good work!
 
@ratna - naaaa! aunts are busy getting their daughters and sons married. they are all on matrimoial web sites - blogs will come later :)

@ namesake - good! now i feel better :)

@superduperavi - thanks a lot :) yeah! i try to make minimal use of Bengali unless the post involves arnd something and even then i try to translate the words i use - as far as commenters are concerned - i'm all pro free speech so the best thing avi sould be you putting something here in your own language :) what say? that'll teach all a lesson :)
 
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