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Thursday, June 09, 2005

The Animalistic Joys 

If you're staying in San Diego there's a high chance that you would have visited Sea World and the San Diego Zoo at least gazillion times. Every time friends visits SD, I accompany them to these spots. In the three and a half years that I've been here, I must have gathered enuff qualifications to serve as an official guide to both these spots. With Arnab and Pummy planning trips to SD in the near future, my zoo visit counter is likely to go up even further.

Now I come from Kolkata - a city which boasts (?) of one of India's biggest zoos. Every year my parents took me for the quintessential zoo trip where I would put on my straw hat (Kolkattans will know exactly what I'm talking abt) and buy a small packet of nuts and share it with the cute squirting elephants. So having seen both these zoos ample number times - what's the biggest difference that I notice between them? Well, I think it's a simple answer - the animals in SD Zoo have a lot more attitude. Yeah! I said it!

You should just look at the chimpanzees in the Kolkata zoo. The moment they spot a visitor they'll try every trick in the book to impress him. They'll itch their buttocks in ways you've never imagined; pretend to eat bananas that don't exist and even join you in sharing a smoke. All this just for some meaningless adulation and yes, occasionally the half eaten banana too. In contrast the chimpanzees in SD are way too snooty. They barely give you a second glance. In case you've caught them on a special day, they "might" just wake up for you ... and then sleep again. All the comforts and luxuries of SD zoo have made these animals lazy and arrogant. The same holds true for the tigers. Arijit waited a good fifteen minutes just to catch a glance of the Bengal Baby and what did it do for him? Played peekaboo. That aint fair. A Kolkata based tiger would never do that. It'll come and roar for you incessantly. Yawn stinky jungle breath on your face and make funny shapes with its tail till you get bored. Could you ask for a better deal for your money??

To solve this crisis, I've come up with a perfect solution. Just like software, we should outsource zoo animals too. That'll teach them a lesson. Just as an experiment, they should release a Kolkata chimpanzee in the SD zoo. Mark my words - in just ten days the Bengal Bandar will win over the affection of every female chimpanzee out here and get the other chimps back on their feet. Every ape in SD zoo will then be forced to ape him. The rules will be simple - "if you don't play with your arse, you get none yourself". Survival of the fittest. The jungle rule. The same will hold true for the tigers. Once we have Rowdy Ragini doing her tricks for just one piece of stale meat a day, the other meat hogging carnivores would have no option but to join in. What say?

Comments:
Wasn't using the tigers for du'uh movie "kaal" along with Vivek Oberoi ,tortures enough , now you want to show them off to phirangs??
 
hey, what about Sea World...are the Killer Whales there snooty too??

Hurray to the Desi beasts who are such entertaining performers.
Yeah, the animals here are good too :))

As always, Kool post :)
 
I started with a comment which became so large that I made a post out of it!!!
 
@divya - don't even mention Vivek Oberoi :)) i despise the guy - probably the worst thing to have have happened to Hidi cinema since Amisha Patel's acting :)

@angel - thanks :) Oh they have this killer whale called who is the biggest attraction. he has more endorsement deals than movie stars - whew!

@anyesha - i just read your briliant post and shall comment their itself
 
So now, you are moving to "Nandy's Guide for Animals" ;)

I agree with your observations :))
 
killer whale called? JJ?
 
@ratna - thanks fo ragreeing with my animalistic observations :) and yes soon we will have Nandy's guides to everything :)

@angel - na its called Shamu - Word Famous Shamu :)
 
I love Dolly the dolphin :)
 
@anon - my personal fav is the seal and otter show! that rocks.
 
Cute SQUIRTING elephants??? Is that as dirty as it sounds? ;)
 
@eM - :)) nope! it's just little elephants who drink a lot of water and occasionally spray it on random visitors. my sis has been the target of a sneeze as well :)
 
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