Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Get Cool - Part Uno 

So your classmates think you aren't cool enuff? Some of them even poke fun at you behind your back? Girls whisper to their friends that "he's nice but not my type"? Opening the refrigerator in the morning is the coolest thing that you do every day? You look at those cocky peers and wish that you were one of them?

If you're suffering from any of the above problems then worry no more. The Nandy's Guide to Being Cool is here. This two part post will teach you "how to go from drool to cool" in ten days. From "scratch" to "dude of the batch" - we'll take you there in simple easy and effective steps. Our team of experts have tried and tested these techniques for years. Don't believe us - just look at what some of our customers had to say:

Avinash Modi (tech whiz from Houston, ex superhero sidekick) - "I used to be a geek. Women never spoke to me. I confided in a friend and he recommended the Nandy's Guide. I got instant results. I'm still a geek and women still stay away from me. But now I know how to skillfully lie abt it!"

Ranajit Dam (journalist, womanizer) - "I wasn't always like this. They used to tease me in school. A girl even wrote 'Go back to Momma' on my desk. So I went back to Momma and she got me the Nandy's Guide. I'm a changed man now. I wear baggy clothes on weekends and tell people 'yo yo. wassup?' The Nandy's Guide changed me completely."

Rajesh Advani (writer, techie, movie star) - "The Nandy's Guide changed me completely. I don't know how but I'm sure it did. Earlier I used to think that 'kick ass' was a self-defense technique but now I know otherwise. My friends now call me Raju Cool. The Nandy's Guide put the sizzle in my dizzle."

And these aren't all. Every day millions of people are benefiting from the Nandy's Guide. So don't get left behind and call us (or email us, or instant message us) now and get this great value ... absolutely free. Call in the next ten minutes and we'll even include a copy of our bestseller "Bhangra to Boogie Woogie, Dandia to Disco" absolutely free. Or you can just wait till the next post and I'll anyway share some of our techniques with you :) Remember:

"We put the punch in punch line!"

Ranajit Dam (journalist, womanizer) - "I wasn't always like this. I never knew any women, talked to any women, looked at any women. I thought I'd die a virgin. And then I bought the Nandy Guide at the UCSD bookstore for $129.99. Under the heading "How to get women," the book told me how to get women. "Follow this easy three-step guide to get the chicks," the Nandy Guide said. "1. Code Java 2. Wank 3. Write a Blog. The women are bound to come, trust me."

Now a million hot women have surrounded my house as I write, dying to be let in. If you want, you can read the blog at http://ranajitdam.blogspot.com/ Just don't lay seige on my house right now; I'm booked till 2085.
@rsd - *a whole load of unprintable abuses* - any more cheap comments and i will be forced to cancel your subscription of our weekly magazine "the how tos of how to" - don't tempt me :))
the funniest part was 'raju cool' =))

also "Bhangra to Boogie Woogie, Dandia to Disco"

hilarious stuff!!

AND it's absolutely free.

heyy, will you pay those who read it?
You forgot about the money back guarantee if not satisfied stuff
@elf - thank you :)

@angel - yes madam, i will pay you to read it. but will you give me a guaranteed money back offer??? :)

@ratna - yes! my "free book" comes with full money back offer as well :))
Me and my friends were having our reguler girls night out and were watching Asian Sky shop and we suddenly noticed the Newly imported , direct from america, written by a brillian NRI, the Nandy's Guide. thanks to you, all women kind actually have found a code to crack the mystery of " what gives a man the feeling of beeing cool." We have now successfully decoded the mistery of some calcutta guys to wear Red-Tape shoes and pretend to be an inch and a half taller than they actually are, and the orignation of the notion that hawaian shirts in riotous colors makes one look more dudish and that Fair- and lovely cream actually does something for the complexion ( its true, we've got proof!). Thanks You, Nandy Brigade!! muah muah!
@sayantani - oh what a lovely thought - i'm trying to imagine a girl's night out in Kol where a bunch of young girls are watching Asian Sky Shop - cracks me up :)) and Red Tape shoes? Fair and Lovely cream? What??? We are still talking abt men - right? Whatever happened to the good ol' Kol I used to stay in :((
i'm still a lil' skeptical. i shall wait till Part Dos.
@sara - coming soon to a theatre near you :)
ok but youforgot the part where it helps me lose weight as well
@grafxgurl - :)) now that you mention we shall include our special two hr dvd "loose pounds without spending dollars" absolutely free of cost :)
Man, I said I was making those statements off the record!


Sizzle in my dizzle??? :D I'm thinking I need some ice. Or maybe rubber slippers!
Is this related to Will Smith's Hitch in some way? Are you the date doctor?
@rajesh - i am sorry if i let the secrets out BUT how does it matter to "raju cool" :))

@kaps - na - hitch made in the millions and finally got eva mendez - i barely know the "men" part of mendez :(
Bad Joke Warning.

Respected Sir,

I have perused your advertisement for Nandy's Guide to Being Cool and have found it extremely misleading. I take exception to the fact that your are making promises which you are not living up to. All the people mentioned in your advertisement are talking only about clothes or women. What is all this nonsense? I bought your book and I find that it talks only of unmentionable things. You have not even provided proper details about how be cool. My air conditioner is not working and I was hoping that your book would provide the solution. However I am fully disappointed. Please refund my hard earned money or else I will be forced to whine at you for extended periods of time.
-- Angry Customer.
@sridhar - :)) nice! reminds me of these cheesy one liner [1]:

[1]Nandy's Guide, Chapter 3, Making the Best of Electrical Defects.

"Is the AC not working or are you really that hot!" :)
@s'nik - Hey, reputation is everything! (Chapter 1, Section 3.4 Nandy's Guide)

You should also consider coming up with a sequel to your book - "Nandy's Pickup Lines".
@raju cool - that is already out in paper back edition but they took the back part to seriously and returned it :)
o0oo0 "Nandy's Pick-Up Lines"! Now that sounds like a best seller! Get to work on it NANDY!
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