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Monday, June 13, 2005

Is the AC off or are you really that Hot? 

Ex and I met for lunch. She told me abt all the men who are trying to flirt with her. It was hilarious. Apparently a college mate of ours put on a fake accent, waited for an hour for her and even told her, "Your phone number's a lot like my ex girl friend's" :))

"That's not fair. The civilized human society banned that flirting style in 1979," I told her. "It was lines like these that were preventing us from distinguishing between humans and morons!!"

Seriously, are men still trying to flirt using these techniques?? I thought people had stopped using 1980s teen musicals as their source of romantic inspiration. Come on! My twelve year old cousin knows that no girl these days falls for the "You have the most wonderful smile I've ever seen" crap. So, in case you don't know, here are some other styles that acquired the term 'passe' ten years ago:

1. "I can't live without you." Don't say that to a girl. The woman of today will actually put you to test on that one and I doubt if you can both prove your point AND cherish your victory.

2. "Have we met before?" Has anybody ever realized that this widely used line is actually an insult? If you're asking a girl "IF" you've ever met her, what you're effectively saying is that "you are not memorable enough for me to remember for sure." To quote my ex again - grow up or just throw up!

3. "You are simply out of this World." Have you seen ET? Have you seen Independence Day? Or even India's very own Koi Mil Gaya? People, do you realize that our notion of "Out Of the World creatures" isn't exactly flattering? So keep yourself and your compliments Down to Earth.

I can think of many other examples. Sadly, I have Support Vector Machines to read up on. So people reading this please feel free to add the most ludicrous pick up techniques you've heard of. Would love to hear some of the ones that people have actually faced!

Comments:
Thank god , atleast one man realised these lines have no effect now!!!
This is the most common one i get ,
Guy: you have lovely eyes , man that is some sparkle.
Me: I know , tell me something new!

very few guys have botherd to continue the conversation after this !
 
@divya - nice :) btw, haven't people told you the std "lost in ur eyes" stuff that sparkly eyed people get??
 
and dont ever try to tell a girl she looks "nice"...youll always be wrong.. always..lol

dont tell a girl her hair is gorgeous and then proceed to stroke it.. if she puts her hand up and pats her hair in place again.. youve just lost points.

dont tell a girl she's lost weight.. she'l find the nearest mirror and one of two things will happen...
1. she will agree she has lost weight and then will not be satisfied and will want to lose soem more.. so in that fact she isnt satisfied with your answer.
2. she will give you the " you liar" look and walk off.
 
@grafxgirl - ya that reminds me of the "oh so famous" line - "you look much slimmer today" - what? i've said that and have been instantly bombarded with "compared to when" :((
 
Hiya, have been visitng ur blog on and off now, never left a comment. so here is my 2 pence:

guy: that dress looks really nice on u
me: right - and who else have u seen this dress on?
 
oh yes.. lots of times..most recently,2 days back !!
I got this one from my lecturer
" you have Expression eyes"
and gave 25 on 25 for my internals!
 
@stiletto - that was brilliant. i'm still laughing out loud :)) you actually said that to someone?? nice!

@divya - aha 25/25. that must have brought a happier expression on your eyes :)
 
@S'nik - "Nandy's Guide to lines you should NOT use"? :)

@divya - I think they call that harassment.
 
@rajesh (for comment to Sagnik) - :)
@rajesh (for comment to Divya) - i gave meany of my teacher in school the expression but they gave me back a sterner expression in return :(( now that is harassment :)
 
I have a story you guys that will probably amaze you cause it still amazes. In my eyes it was the best worst pick up attempt in history.

I was driving casually, singing along to Aretha one day last summer. And this car pulls up next to me and tells me to roll down my window. I ignore it cause i just felt like it. So he follows me onto 3 more lights, doing the same exact thing. And i proceed to ignore him. Then the guy pulls up behind me at a left turn signal, but he doesnt just pull up. The guy actually ran his car into the back of my car. And when I come out to give him a piece of my mind he said "I am so sorry miss but it was the only way I could get you to talk to me and hopefully gimme ur number?"


He did get a number alright! A number to my insurance company! Oh well! it worked out alright for me, got me some extra money to fix up my good ole camry.
 
@sara - what's a lil monetary damage to get a nice girl's number - he just tried to "insure" that he got it :))
 
@Sara - I believe Ally McBeal tried exactly the same thing once :D

@S'nik - Female teachers?
 
reminds me of the Classic Dave Barry's article " Survival of mankind rides on the successful pickup line"

n the pickup line which i often encounter of the lot is "Hi Beautiful!" n i go "well, has the word been redefined!!!! "
 
@rajesh - mostly female and this one stray male teacher too - but that's a separate story :))

@swathi - how could i forget the "hi beautiful" :) ad classic article title - now i have to find it somewhere
 
Ive got one to share, a friend said this in a bar once and is probably the worst ive ever heard of, except maybe that car one.

here it is,
friend - Can i buy you a drink
girl - sure
friend - erm, ive got no money left, can i borrow some?

The worst part is that it aparently worked!? Honestly!?! :)
 
@edge - wow! i don't care for the girl drinking as long as she gives me some money. which place was this in and can u pass the ifo of the girl :))
 
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