Thursday, June 09, 2005

Married and Looking (for you) 

I need to thank the wonderful S (different from my apt mate S) for being the inspiration behind this post. S recently got married and I wish her all the very best for a very blissful and happy marriage. Yanyway, while talking to her this morning, I figured out that married people are to single people what drunken bars are to boxing promoters - the best place for finding what you want. And no, I'm not alluding to unscrupulously dating married women. Instead, I'm talking abt using these married ones to get the single, charming and "oh so wonderful" variety. Confused? Read on!

Let's be honest. When you're single and ready to commingle, you often get blinded. Three months of singlehood and you think everyone is a possible candi-date. You start your search by visiting bars and before you know - bam - you're treading paths that can put you behind bars. However, the search still goes on and soon you look into the bathroom mirror and scream, "Where are the single men/women? Why can't I find them?"

Well! If good, eligible, single folks are what you're looking for then look no more - just call up your nouveau married friends and they'll get you hooked in a jiffy. The reason is simple. Married people, "it seems", like to only hang out with other married people. They have all these "married topics" that single folks cannot comprehend. Thus, ironically, the radar for detecting singles is almost double in them.

It's almost like the "princess and the pea story" - let out two single folks in a group of 20 married couples and they'll spot them in no time. Raised eyebrows and slanted glances will flow. "What's she doing here?" "I can't discuss children with her around." "Is she eyeing my husband?" "Is she eyeing me?" The questions would pour out and soon she's found asking her hubbykin, "Why does she hang out with us? Doesn't she have her own set of single friends." The husband defends his friend, "Come on! She and I've known each other for five years now. I can't just ask her to stop hanging out with us."

That leaves the wife with only one option - if you can't remove the single from the group at least remove her single status. Impaired judgment calls for "paired solutions". So she desperately tries to search for other single friends of hers and hola, soon she becomes the darling matchmaker.

So to all my single friends trying to hook up - don't spend hours on nagging portals advertising "homely and understanding partners". Just start hanging out with your married friends and make things miserable for them ... and to all my married friends who are searching prospective dates for me - "keep up the good work!" I'm proud of you :)

Three months of singlehood? Try 26 years...

Of course, I think that married pepole make the worst match-makers. As in "worst match".
@+vani - 26 years of singlehood!! with your writing gems ad killer humour - were you in prison for a while????
You hardly find suitable mates from married people. It's all just whatever's left over. It's like buying fruits too late, the fresh and ripe ones were bought first, and your just left with the unwanted and not so fresh ones.

Hardly appealing if you ask me. Just go to a field and pick your own.
@S'nik - :D Naah. No prison. But if you've read my first article on Sulekha, you'll understand why :)

@Sara - Mate farms. Now that's an idea :)
@sara - so where is this field where i ca just go and ask women?? very eager to know :)

@+vani - nope haven't read it :( but will do so promptly :)
i'm not so sure but i heard its right behind the fountain of youth..
@sara - see now you just dont ana share the secret. you could have just said no. dint hve to lie so blatantly :)
Me, the 20 year old shall leave you
20-something despos be!!

Till you get married of course, then I shall bug ya!!
i'm not lying! that's what i heard through the grapevine! im gonna go on a journey and look for it! who wants to come!

cause' im lonelyyyy......im mr. lonelyyyyyy!!! i have no bodddyyyyyy to calllll my owwwwwnnnnn
@angel - :)) you do realize that the bottleneck to that is me getting married :)

@sara - aha! akon. btw, do you have any idea - who does that semi childish, semi scary voice in the song???
Alvin and the chipmunks!
@Sara - gracias :)
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