Monday, June 20, 2005

Matched # Deux 

As promised earlier, here are some really funny things that I spotted on the two matrimonial sites that I visited with my friend. I have tried to choose the ones that wouldn't reveal anything abt the actual people and in case I have offended anyone - go remove your profile :)

1. Two guys mentioned that they want girls who are "adaptive". Is it just the geek in me or does that really sound like a software specification?

2. Almost on the same lines - quite a few girls wanted men who are "reliable" (just for them, coming soon Manware 1.0b)

2. One Girl Started Every Word Of Her Sentences With A Capital Letter Like I Have Done For This Sentence :)

3. One guy described himself as "Myself is cool" (how cool do you think is that).

4. Quite a few women and men wanted their partners to be "open minded". Now the term can mean a range of things and if not specified leads to really fancy (or is the word vivid) images in my mind.

5. One girl mentioned her hobby as "talking on the telephone". Now why would someone want that information when choosing a partner? Unless of course you are a phoney!!

6. Pummy mentioned this one to me (so don't question me abt the authenticity). Apparently a leading daily in Kolkata has an ad that mentions that the guy's father owns a flat on the tenth storey (Now that's some unneeded "storey") Now who needs such specific information?

7. Another one courtesy darling sister. The same daily boasted of an ad where the guy dint divulge his salary but mentioned that his father has a seven figure annual income.

8. This one goes out to all those people who had ids that tried to reveal more abt them than their profiles. Whatever happened to subtlety? Since I've respected the privacy of all these people I shall not reproduce exact ids but there were people whose ids resembled cool_engineer_nyc. Do we even need a profile after that? I suggested to my friend that he should choose an id on the lines of handsome_rich_guy_hunky_japan_visited :)

9. Finally for all the lovers of irony - some guy wanted a "homely working girl". Go for it dude!

An ad specifically mentioned that girls from a certain college (where i studied)need not apply!
I put in this junk ad once with some arbit profile name and mentioned the fact that I was a habitual drinker of loose moral values with divorced parents...all this to see the profile of a friend which only people with profiles on that silly website could see. But this is not it...after a couple of months my junk email account (yes I have one which I check every 6 months) was full of mails which said"we have found X matches for you"...for goodness sake some chap's parents actually left a mail saying they were interested!!!!!Needless to say I went back to site and erased that stupid profile.
Not to hog space or anything...but you missed something...you cannot contact people of the same sex on these sites(Ha Ha Ha..those carfty Indian web designers I tell you)!!! This was also figured out as part of previous experiment.
Whatever happened to the ole reliable 'convent educated homely bride' !?

Long back (in the days when you used lynx and gopher as your text-based browser!) and in a galaxy far away (reputed Eng college hostel) a friend and I used to scan marraige ads in The Telegraph
(sorry hit Enter button too early in the previous comment....)

Long back (in the days when you used lynx and gopher as your text-based browser!) and in a galaxy far away (reputed Eng college hostel) a friend and I used to scan marraige ads in The Sunday Telegraph.....used to be good for a few minutes of laugh. I still remember one entry under 'Brides Wanted' which was for a 'Brahmin Computer Masters' - whatever that meant !
:) do you think 'open minded' means - with a hole in the head? my personal favorite is 'innocent divorcee' - have not been able to figure out what that means - innocent as in, I didn't commit the crime...?
tipsy topsy - 'need not apply' really sounds like a job iknterview! wonder what that guy's experience was!
Had quite a jilt on that philo post - good to have the usual you back...
You know, you could prolly change that Random Thoughts headline to something like "Are you not entertained?"
The poor buggers, so much lost for love. No other go, but to fish in the common sea. The search is endless for the perfect specimen of the opposite sex. But surely, surely, with dialogues so corny...I don't care to elaborate more than that. 'Coz someday my mom is going to put up a profile somewhere in the same sea.

And yeah dude, I've changed my blog to http://www.blog.anw.in/

Thanks for putting up my link and please update with new one. ; )
@tipsy-topsy - oh join the group. i have heard of ads after the dot com bust when parents said "people with it background dont apply" :)

@anyesha - loose morals and drinking girls :O and you are still surprised that you got replies. What more can a guy ask for other than these "qualities" :))

@anon - oh. they stil have tons of the "convent educated ones". some of them dont even give their other academic quals but just stress on the fact that the girl can speak English :)

@charu - ah! the "innocent divorcee" thing was hilarious :)) Sadly we dint see too many divorcee ads so why dont you tell us what they are like :)

@biplabda - thank you :)

@cyanide - aha. let us know when your profile is put up. i shall promptly make up nasty things to say and hit back :)
Hey Sagnik...i dont think your comments counter is being updated...
Funny post! Thanks! Just what I needed after yet another day staring at a computer screen :)
Funny as usual:)) Just curious how would you post your ad (if you have to )
@bee - oh the haloscan comments are kinda dicey. they often take a long time to update :)

@ramya - thanks :) btw, do you know that for some funny reason - if you type my name in Google your page is teh first result - not my web page not my blog but your blog :O even though my name is not there in it. i find it very amusing :)

@ratna - :) my ad would be simple. it will read "desperate guy seeks girl. any girl will do" :)
in that case, you could add the old joke/classic line to your ad perhaps?

"desperate guy seeks girl. any girl. no really. age no bar. caste no bar. sex baar baar."

not my creation, just doing appending job. have been most uncreative lately :(
@mnm - :) doesn't matter if it's an old joke - it still strikes a chord close to th eheart :))
never read or visited any matrimonial sites n luking at the amt of entertainment it seems to provide,wonder y i never did that!
but i do remember guy's parents alwayz wanting a "tall,fair n beautiful" girl -no wonder the sales of "Fair n lovely" is alwayz going up in india !
@Swathi - very true. this is very prevelant in Bengal. Bengalis have a special fascination for "fair girls". A lot of ads will say nothign abt the girl's personality or educational quals but just mention - she is very very very fair - is that fair?? :(
Hillarious!! :))
You are right, weird! I do have your blog linked to mine though, but still weird :)
@rathish - thanks :)

@ramya - it is very funny indeed :)
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