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Sunday, July 03, 2005

Let's just be Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Ross ... 

I'm not the first person who is irked by this issue and I'm sure that there are others who feel strongly abt it. So ladies and gentlemen, let's join voices and discuss once again a line that all of us have heard at some point or the other - "Let's JUST be friends."

Have you ever realized that this line always comes at the most inopportune moments? You find out that your girl friend is secretly dating someone else. You confront her. She unapologetically tells you that "things are not working out" so "let's just be friends". Your boy friend has been avoiding your phone calls. Finally you manage to get hold of him. He doesn't apologize. He looks into your eyes and says, "Well, let's just be friends from now."

What? Seriously, what?

Ironic as it might sound but this line is always used in the most unfriendly situations - making it completely useless therefore. Would you normally wanna be friends with someone who's cheating on you? Someone who's abusive? Or someone that you just figured out wanted to "save herself till marriage" but never told you that the marriage dint involve you? Why can't people just say, "I've anyway betrayed your trust. So let's not fool ourselves anymore and let's just get lost." Nope! You cheat, beat and retreat and that doesn't bother you. But at the end of all this you turn into an epitome of grace and gratitude and offer the other person the envied option of being "just friends".

And while on this issue, can someone please explain to me what the term "JUST" means? Why is it always "let's JUST be friends"? Was there another associated option? Has anybody ever said "Ok! Let's be friends, study partners and gym mates?" to which the other person replied saying, "No! I can't study with you. So let's just be friends"? No! There were no other options. So what do people mean when they add the highly stressed JUST to their statement. Is this just?

Comments:
Heh heh! Though, I think women tend to use this phrase a lot more often - its usually when the other person wants more and the woman would want to settle for less, this is middle ground, to let him down gently.

Of course, letting down gently is a concept that is alien to men! :)
 
@soup - "let him down ngently" :) yes sure - as if we men don't know what the phrase actually means :))
 
"JUST" always seem to demean friendship. So why do they say let's just be friends? As if it is a better thing which turns out different with the word "JUST".

We should probably use, "it's not working out being friends. Let's just have SEX".
 
let's just be "night-lovers" (bappi lahiri-style)
 
@BridalBeer - I thought Bappi was always in support of 'silent lovers'. Didn't know he had a 'night' version as well? I guess the man does have many talents.

Awesome post as always, Sagnik! :)
 
Megha, there's a song called "Night Lovers" sung by Bapida. It doesn't seem to take any lyrics other than "laabhers, night laabhers" so it's easy to remember. I like the song because it takes talent to potray sleaze in song using only 2 words throughout:-)
 
Didn't realize the theme of your post when I read your title :)

Funny (heartfelt?) post :)
 
i'm gonna ask this question which,( forgive my assuming so, everyone) all wants to kno, sort of, i do atleast. who was it that delivered this bomb on u recently? coz i definately get disgruntled and pissing undertones in this post. no happy sagnik sandboy here.lol....nyways, woman do give that line a lot, i agree with primalsoup. only when guys go a bit devdas.
 
@anwin - "let' just have sex"?? lemme know if that line works :))

@bridalbeer - ahaa! teh blog feels honored to have the mention of one and only bappi uncle - who's da man??? :)

@megha - i see you haven't yet heard the early 90's classic "night lovers". you should get hold of it as soon as you can. no music lover can call herself a true music lover without having heard "night lovers" :)

@ramya - for the "funny part" - thanks :) for the "heartfelt part" - words like "just friends" leave you feelingless so how can it be heartelt :))

@sayantani - :)) i read the post again and i agree with what you said. it does sound like someone wanted to be friends with me recently. sadly, nothig like that happened. like most of my posts this one too was initiated by a conversation with a friend (who is already my friend) :)
 
I assume its just their way of saying 'Cud u still stay in the backup position.....just in case'
 
@rohan - profound indeed. so it's like a waitlist then??
 
And thus I went around giving hope to millions with broken hearts :)
 
i think the "JUST" thats added into the being friends saying is to imply indirectly that "hey ur not good enough to be my bf/gf and i dont want to feel obligated to do anything for u as a real friend (ex. be there for u in times of stress and hang out for no reason ect. ect.) thus dont be obligated to consider me a real friend. but i dont really wanna say this cuz it'll make me look like a horrible person and make u look like an even bigger dumbass for dating me"

This is all rolled up into the word "just" because its easier to say "just" then all that and sound so incredibly harsh.
 
Its better if they say "Let's just be friends...with benefits."
:)
 
Oh. My. God.

JUST this idea for a post was playing around in my mind yesterday.. heh.. I guess blogging minds think alike? :) But mine was going to be more about the derogatory use of "just friends". I'm puzzled too... why "just"?
 
Neat stuff...went through a few more of yours, witty ones!

Completely agree with you on why would one want to be"just friends". If you are not worth it, simply say it, why bother giving any kind of status to a relationship that is dead :-)

This "just friends" phenomenon amounts to escape mechanism!
 
@rohan - hope is all that we have my friend :)

@sara - aaah! i would pay good money to see a girl actually say what you explained to a guy. how cool will that be :)

@dwarf - please elaborate on the benefits - puhleeze :)

@eM - you know what they say - great minds think alike and fools seldom differ - for our own good let's just think we are great minds at (no) work :)

@minal - thanks :) please come back again with friends, family, foe and dough :)
 
the use of 'just' is totally 'unjust'!!
 
It means the mythical beast referred to as 'a sex buddy' is just that - mythical. Hence the JUST.
 
@ultimate-quirk - indeed my friend, indeed!

@vignesh - you know if sex is involved - most men can avoid the whole buddy angle. do you think anybody would buy that concept though??
 
S'nik - I had to go to that teenwire.com website you linking to, from your blog to get a complete definition of FWB. And you know what? Call me old-fashioned, but I've decided I'm not having kids!
 
@rajesh - which website are you talking abt :( what fwb??? i'm totally lost :(
 
Good question! Even i have never understood what this damn 'just' means...i'm all perplexed!!
 
@attagirl - "just" the kind of support i needed :)
 
Wow !!
I have heard that some days back and I said it to someone else couple of hours back !!!

Wow !!
"lets JUST be friends"
 
Letting down gently is not a foreign concept to men....Avoiding confrontation about breaking up with a girl that you're not really into is....Most guys would rather wait for a woman to come up and say it rather than say it themselves.
 
@debalina - post stories of both on ur blog :) would love to read!!

@beamer - very true. i know exactly what you mean.
 
this is JUST interesting!
 
he original executive producers were Crane, Kauffman and Kevin Bright, with numerous others being promoted in later seasons. Kauffman and Crane began developing Friends under the title Insomnia Cafe in November 1993. They presented the idea to Bright, with whom they had previously worked, and together they pitched a seven-page treatment of the series to NBC. After several script rewrites and changes, the series was finally named Friends and premiered on NBC's coveted Thursday 8:30 pm timeslot. Filming for the series took place at Warner Bros. Studios in Burbank, California in front of a live audience. After ten seasons on the network, the series finale was promoted by NBC, and viewing parties were organized around the US. The series finale (airing on May 6, 2004) was watched by 52.5 million American viewers,he original executive producers were Crane, Kauffman and Kevin Bright, with numerous others being promoted in later seasons. Kauffman and Crane began developing Friends under the title Insomnia Cafe in November 1993. They presented the idea to Bright, with whom they had previously worked, and together they pitched a seven-page treatment of the series to NBC. After several script rewrites and changes, the series was finally named Friends and premiered on NBC's coveted Thursday 8:30 pm timeslot. Filming for the series took place at Warner Bros. Studios in Burbank, California in front of a live audience. After ten seasons on the network, the series finale was promoted by NBC, and viewing parties were organized around the US. The series finale (airing on May 6, 2004) was watched by 52.5 million American viewers,
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Chandler Bing, an executive in statistical analysis and data reconfiguration for a large multi-national corporation. Chandler quits his job and becomes a junior copywriter at an advertising agency during season nine. Chandler is known for his sarcastic sense of humor,[10] and marries longtime friend Monica. Like Aniston, Perry had already appeared in several unsuccessful sitcom pilots before being cast
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