Thursday, July 21, 2005

Love ke liye sala ... kuch bhi karega 

I was working out in the gym next to this very hot girl and her very hunky friend. Hunky and Chunky got talking.

Hunky: So what's the deal with you and Jason?
Chunky: I guess I love him.
Hunky: What? I thought you guy's were just f**king around.
Chunky: Yeah! That too (and starts laughing).
Hunky: I don't get it. How do you know you love someone?

Hunky and Chunky kept talking and I kept eavesdropping. But that's not the point. In between his inclined press and pull-ups, Hunky had actually raised a very pertinent question. How do you know that you love someone?

The question made me think and I figured that most people somehow associate love with exclusivity. If there's any one person who you enjoy talking/sleeping/dancing most with, you somehow get the feeling that you are in love. Yup! Love=Exclusivity and that is very strange. All our childhood (and now in Potter's latest exploit) people told us that love is one of the most beautiful emotions and somehow, in a very strange way, this is the emotion we are most selfish with.

Try telling your wife, "Honey, I really love you. I love you a lot. Just as much as the house maid." Do you think your marriage will last another day? I doubt it! You'll soon find out that you and missus weren't maid for each other :) But the question is - WHY? If love is such a wonderful feeling, why would it irk your wife to know that you love someone else too. If helping multiple people equally earns you the title of a Samaritan then why should loving multiple people equally make you an unfaithful bastard? Socho Socho! Bolo bolo!

And No! I don't think that this is a sexual thing either. Try telling your parents that you love them just as much as the milkman and they'll surely think that you are an ungrateful wretch. Now tell your milkman that you love him just as much as his pretty wife and you'll probably be inviting some frequent visits to the bathroom after next morning's tea. On the other hand, if you tell someone that you hate someone else just as much as them, they'll actually feel better; coz now they have someone else to share their woes with. The same thing holds true for anger. I'd rather have my class teacher get angry with the whole class than just me. But with love, the wonderful soothing love, we somehow expect exclusivity.

I find it strange but then there are people who find me strange. So what's your view?

Yay! I get to comment first here!

Hmm...interesting post, coincidentally the subject of my latest post too.

Maybe love is so demanding that you are expected to be exclusively faithful, exclusively partial...maybe if you love more than one person, it becomes more difficult to (almost) blindly support one person...not sure if am making sense here :)
Love is like a gift. I'd rather my gift is just mine and i don't have to share it. But with hate, it is more like a whip-lash, so the more people in the same rut with me, the more it pleases my conscience :)

Aaah...Kumari i think it is bed time. Lemme sleep over ur thought-provoking post :)
G'nite dude.
its as simple as that...when u get close to anyone n u start caring 4 them they get a sense tat there is someone whom they can fall back upon anytime n share ALL their feelings...when u start loving someone equally as them somehow the feeling creeps in tat u WONT hv the same amt of time as u had b4 to listen,laugh,play,cry,understand,dance sleep..blah blah...with them any longer...none likes love to be divided...m i getting a point here?:)
this things seems strange to u?:-o so i guess u r gonna be very happy if ur gf/wife says "darling...i love u soo much..so much as i love amit(the guy next door)" n raise her over to the level of a samaritan??:)...never! somehow when things happ to us our perception over things changes...we bcome selfish..dont we?:):)..tats the way the world spins!!:)
this things seems strange to u?:-o so i guess u r gonna be very happy if ur gf/wife says "darling...i love u soo much..so much as i love amit(the guy next door)" n raise her over to the level of a samaritan??:)...never! somehow when things happ to us our perception over things changes...we bcome selfish..dont we?:):)..tats the way the world spins!!:)...but all said n done tat a was g8 post:)
I think there will be a moment in everyones life to love everything/everyone. At that moment, my love ur love, his/her love seem so little or meaningless.
Married people talk like this only no. :))
@ramya - love is demanding i agree - but faithful - i doubt it in many cases :)

@kumari - madam that paragraph can fetch you good green if handed to Hallmark - even a prick like me is moved :)

@anon - nice! point taken :) and thanks :)

@ratna - wow! everytime you post something lik that i feel like getting married and then i look around and then i go to the beach and then i look around ... :)
Neat post and you have me confused:-)
Have always been confused about that feeling called "love":-)

How you manage to come up with confusing posts that get people thinking and confused amazes me;-)

Neat one...continue it and I shall continue visiting this blog:-)
aha! the much discussed topic.
generally my frend n me always have a discussion on the difference between crush and love.
n yaa i'm a firm believer of the fact that we can fall in love with multiple people and more than once in a lifetime.
@minal - u keep visiting and i will keep writing :)

@swathi - same here but right now i have to find at least one person who decides to include me in her list :)) (or should the emoticon be :(( )
Have had a tiny bit of exposure to philosophy (Vedanta) and from what i understod there, love is an unselfish emotion. love is that part of ur feeling for others that remains irrespective of how the other person behaves. it is universal.

what that means is, each one of us depending on our level of unselfishness has an ability to love others (all others) to a certain degree. anythg beyond this level is attachment which arises becuas that other person fulfills some need of urs. as long as that need keeps getting fulfilled, u r partial to that person. it is a selfish emotion.

hence, u actualy love ur parents/ milkman/pretty wife/house maid equally but ur level of attachment to each one of them is different.

makes any sense?
@tipsy topsy: this monogamy business. all social conditioning, i tell you. nothing more than that.
Sagnik - if she was hot, why is she "Chunky"?
@fingeek, absolutey. i think it is time women were allowed to have more than one husband.
hmmm. So, we all want to be differentiated, and not Integrated. Ego surely must be exponential.
@tipsy-topsy - actually that does make a lot of sense. nice!

@fing-geek (+tipsy again) - yes, if women decide to consider more men than once that might give thousands f grad students more hope :))

@vrempala-boy - good point ... hmmm! why was she Chunky??

@anshul - nice :)
hmm...hmmm...so I will not fall in love with a fiat, just because I love to drive it...
such simple things...such profound wisdom...or something...
@me - you sure drove yoru point home *clap clap* :)
Love is not generic! There are variations of love! There is kind of love that a group of people could share like loving a musician but there is kind of love that would hurt to share like sharing your love for a better half with others! It's just that simple. It isn't that people have set rules of when love can be shared and when it can't. How one loves somebody/something is a human reaction that can't be controlled by any kind of rational or irrational reasoning.

Loving your parents is different from loving your better half which is different from loving your country which is different from loving our pet.

Btw, after reading yor post I have to believe that you are single!
@SN - very true! agreed. but the question is not what but why. why cant you love somebody like your better half - once again i am not saying i want to or have - i am just asking why. what i it that makes us associate love with exclusivity?

p.s. yup as single as the last man in a battlefield :) (not too difficult to gues is it)
I think that, just like every person is unique, so also, every relationship is unique. There are two sets of unique thoughts, feelings, behaviour in a relationship...how can the dynamics be compared to another?

As for love, that's just a four-letter word as far as I'm concerned.
@ideasmithy - agreed but disagreed. i know what you mean but i also know what i mean - do you get what i mean? :)
I think I do but I could be wrong. What do you mean, Sagz?
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