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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

When three's not a crowd 

Once again a post courtesy a conversation (actually a chat). I call this phenomenon "three party friends" and I've spoken to a few others who've agreed with this. Do you have friends who are very nice people and excellent company PROVIDED you have a third person accompanying you? It doesn't matter who this third person is - it's just important that there's someone else with the two. Lemme explain.

Have you ever gone out with someone where you wished after a while that you had a third person there with you? Not because the person was boring you but just because you were scared that after a while things "might" get boring. That "after a while" might not even occur but it does scare the sh!t out of you. So while you're talking abt how your path breaking project at work is, you're secretly wondering "Ok! What next?" Often in these situations you'll realize there are sudden silence breaks. Both parties take a breather. They try to remember all the topics that they can talk abt next while trying to ensure that the silence doesn't turn awkward. You can even notice one of the two people saying "I'll just be back from the restroom". The other person tries to use this rest break to buffer up some conversation topics and just when you're back from the toilet - bang! You hear, "So did I tell you that Rajesh is visiting next week?" "Ah! Excellent," you say to yourself. "Rajesh to the rescue."

Interestingly, if there's a third person in the scene, you no longer feel the tension. Every time there's silence then, the whole guilt of boring the other person gets divided equally. You no longer think it's you who ran out of things to say. So you are calm and even without trying you land up with something to say. So this "third person" doesn't even have to be a great friend; just a stunt double. One who takes the beating of the situation but when the actor is back in form he can just sit aside. If you're still wondering if this happens to you, try to think of situations where you asked someone out and immediately mentioned, "Hey, why don't you ask X to join us too." Sounds familiar??

P.S. I can share my words with many friends, it's the silence that is reserved for the closest ones!

Comments:
No. I have not been in this situation before. I can talk as much as I want with a person, even if I don't know them very well or until they are bored to death. The reverse situation maybe a possibility with me, like the other person is alone listening to me and would like to divide my attention between a third person and himself/herself :)
 
Hmm, good question. Actually, yea, I guess, it's true. You remember that Freinds episode (season 9, I think) when Mike and Ross decide to hang out together and beer bottles are the only ice-breakers with them having nothing in common to talk about. Sad but true.
 
@ratna - aha! you are of the type that people crave to be friends with then :) sadly, not all of us know you :((

@biplab - F.R.I.E.N.D.S good ol FRIENDS - they have touched upon so many day to day situations - maybe i should just use FRIENDS as my blog inspiration :)
 
The postscript reminded me of a text msg that a friend sent me recently: 'Speak less to the people whom you love the most, because if they cannot understand you silence they will never understand your words.' So was this her reason for not calling me when she was in town the last time around?! Mystified Mitasho
 
three is defn NOT a crowd...u can try out this "three's company too" technique...it goes like this...u get to the guy/girl u really wanna impress(hv a crush) n(most importantly) tk with u a girl/guy who is more shy/reserved(OR someone whose crappy talking is a geometric progression of ur crapiness)than u...n u start a conversation...so the result bingo! by the concept of "theory of relativity":) u obviously seem BETTER than the "third" person(irrespective of what shit u talk provided the other talks MORE SHIT than u:):)...n tat guy/girl will get attracted/prefer u more..n the result one competition less down the line;)... thank god the whole world spins with the concept of "theory of relativity":):)..god bless einstien!!:):) this really works...hv tried it out many times myself!!;)...go tk ur try now!!:):)
 
@anon1 - nicely put :) yeah, if silence is indeed golden ten i would be a rich man by now courtesy all the women i know :)

@anon2 - yes, i know what you are talking abt - i have been that "used" third guy on more than one occasion :-X
 
Loooooooved the closing line.

And sorry, but I forgot my knight-in-shining-armour costume.
 
@+vani - do you love the last line enuff to coat jelly on it and lik it - do you? do you? :))
 
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