Thursday, September 01, 2005

Popping the Q 

Another post courtesy a Kolkata Konversation.

A female friend of mine is scared that a guy she knows quite well might propose to her. Under normal circumstances such a moment is a matter of honor for (wo)men. A quick but contented smile is given (without letting go of the feigned humility) and the mental counter of "people who've fallen for me" is promptly incremented. Sadly, not all moments are so relishable and that is the case with my friend. The guy in question is somebody she likes and contemplates marriage with BUT is not very sure of right now. At such a time, a proposal might mess up everything - coz a decision has to be made. The display shows a "Yes" and a "No" and you have to click on one of the options before you can proceed any further :( A "Yes" might lead to a hasty decision and a "No" might mean a blunder in retrospect ... So she asked me what the chances of the guy proposing to her was and as usual, I was more than willing to impart my non-existing wisdom :)

Men normally go for two kinds of proposals. One - when they feel that if they don't pop the question, someone else will or Two - when they are sure that the answer will be a "Yes". The former kind normally happens early in a (semi)relationship. The other guy drives a car that is less expensive than yours but he also meets her more often. Then there is the third guy too. He stays abroad but calls her frequently. He offers her a trip to the unseen areas. So there is a lot of competition and you aren't sure who's leading. So you quickly throw the question - "Pompa, ever since I saw you ... I instantly knew that you were the one ..." Another variant of this proposal is when you know that you don't stand a chance and still want to give it a shot. For example, if Aishwarya Rai met me - she knows that I don't wanna marry her. So she's aware that in all likelihood I'll say No, BUT she still wants to give it a shot. So she instantly suggests marriage to me ... and me being me, I promptly say No. You get the picture - right?

In my friends case, this wasn't the scenario. The guy in question knew that she was not being pursued by anyone else. In such a situation the guy too is scared of rejection and wants things to remain as they are. He wants to be ABSOLUTELY SURE (the kind I am abt Aishwarya's hots for me) before popping the question. And lemme let you in a lil secret - the best way to ask the question in such a situation is to throw the ball in her court and invite her to a game of "love all". Look at her eyes, smile and ask "Where do you think this is going?" The beauty of this approach is that she can always feign that she has no idea of what you are talking abt and avoid the awkwardness. And women a lil secret for you too - if you ever face this question and are still unsure abt what to do - then smile back and ask him, "You tell me. Where do you think this is going." Going, going, gone!

oh yaa i've heard that phrase "Do u know what is
Poor Aishwarya Rai :)
so... did he propose?
Even I want to know. Hasn't the guy got any guts?
@swathi - ?? is the comment complete :(

@biplabda - you bet - look who she's dating - we can hardly not offer her sympathy :)

@teleute + kanti - not yet! but he is getting most of the benefits of a relationship sans some of the hassles. my question then is - why will he??
i'm not saying he should - i just want to know if and when he does. but why i want to know that, i do not know. i think i have been struck by mLOO.
Hmm.. what exactly does ' a trip to the unseen areas' exactly mean ... ;) (tomakey aaj thekey dushtoo-da dakbo) [ha ha]
@teleute - pucca word - whenever he does pop the question i will send you an email notifying you of the proposal. get well soon :)

@indra - how will i know - never been invited to see the unseen by anyone :(( thanks for rubbing it in :((
please mail notification to mia dot devlin at gmail dot com.

and once mLOO (major Lack Of Occupation) strikes, patients are almost inevitably lost to it. chances of recovery are next to none.
who ate my comment?
thatz bad - all the time n energy -not to mention my company's broaband connectivity is lost!**sigh**
And women a lil secret for you too - if you ever face this question and are still unsure abt what to do - then smile back and ask him, "You tell me. Where do you think this is going." Going, going, gone! It dosnt work doesn't doesn't doesn't...

Pompa is a name ???
can anyone be sure of the answer?

a better way to look at it, would be to avoid having to live with that regret of not having done so. that would be really killing!

both of them would be having a tough time with the relationship.
@teleue - gentleman's word (that doesn't mean much) - that you'll be the first to know :)

@swathi - what! now they have a comment eater on the prowl??? :O

@Phenix - why why why why why?

@rakhi - oh sure it is! she is the one who feeds bananas to the hippo in the curcus :)

@ranga - very true! you have just spelt out the secret fear of most d(o)ating men :)
All Hail Courting-guru Sagnik!!
*in an exagerated tone*
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