Monday, September 26, 2005

Tight Issue 

Ok! Another issue that has confused me over the years. Why do Superheroes wear tights? Why oh why oh why? Superman, Batman, Spiderman, This Man, Dat Man - everyman. What is it abt these seemingly uncomfortable looking tights that attract superheroes to them? Ask yourself - if you were to choose an outfit that could become a uniform that you might have to wear a gazillion times - what are the chances that you'll narrow it down to a tight so uncomfortable that you'll have a good chance of suffocating yourself even before the gadgeted villain attacks you.

I don't know abt you, but given a situation like this I would choose something baggy. Loose trousers, a Hawaiian shirt, dark Oaklees and sneakers. If anonymity is an issue I wouldn't mind wearing a mask but definitely not a leather tight body suit. Has anybody ever wondered how Spiderman pees? Sorry to put this image in your mind - but I'm sure that Spidey dint have a zipper in his tights - he would HAVE TO pull down his entire trouser to pee. Would you want your superhero to do that? Such a public nuisance that'll be.

Also I think I know why none of these superheroes have a smooth love life. Two letters - B.O. If you are wearing such clothes - it is but normal that you'll sweat like a pig. "Hey, Blah Blah Man, thanks for saving me from the goons," the pretty petite girl says. "Would you want to kiss me?" Blah Blah Man removes his mask and the damsel throws up instantly. "The goons were better any day ... any day! You stink," she wails. What say?

So what will your suit look like if you were a superhero???

P.S. Notice how classy I've been by refraining from discussing the whole separate crotch area of these superhero suits :)

mm May be the S heroes wanted to show their flat abs and bulging biceps??
My sentiments exactly. What better way to show off one's body and have women swooning? And im sure they have Super Powers that take care of their B.O. :P for puttin nasty thoughts in my head.

I dont see you complaining about Cat Woman, Super Girl, Lara Croft(?) and all the other female super heroes' body hugging outfits! :)

(sayin super heroine sounds so off)
Lol. Completely agree with Archster ... why no complaints about the women?
The answer was given long ago by DAT MAN!

Q :- DAT MAN why do you wear tights?

Q :- but its 2005 now for God's sake we all think u need a change!
DAT MAN :- AHUM!if you never realized, we SH's have to change to our costumes super fast so we always wear our costumes before going out anywhere (tights are very hard to recognize through normal clothing)!AAAND if you did not know all of our creators are *DEAD* and thus no one can change our original costume!

Q :- HOW does SPIDERMAN pee ?
DAT MAN :- The answer was albayz bhefore your eyes!His crotch area is always darkened making it very difficult to understand that he has already pee'd and since he swings around so much no one bothers looking at his crotch!
@unjustified insanity
that was funny

even i was wondering 'bout the costumes of women like Catwoman, Warrior Princess etc ... (perhaps that wud b 'nother post by u)

as to the tight fitting clothes of super heroes my theory is that they are easy to camouflage it under their work clothes and also to make money with the unique merchandise.
Hey Chacha Choudhary doesnt!!!
Another thought came to mind.

Flying across skyscrapers and indulging in other such super hero activity in the suggested (baggy)apparel can provide quite an unsightly view to poor unsuspecting citizens below, would it not?

For baggy clothing can often reveal more than one wishes too, especially at higher altitudes and on windy days.

It appears the "crotch area of superhero suits" is a key factor to be taken into consideration afer all

But bravo to you all the same, for steering clear of it. If only your readers had the same touch of class?
Think dynamics Dahling...like aerodynamics, fluid dynamics, thermodynamics etc. etc. Now if you were a Super Hero whizzing about the skies what would you prefer-an aerodynamic body hugging suit or losse baggy trousers??
>>I dont see you complaining about Cat Woman, Super Girl, Lara Croft(?) and all the other female super heroes' body hugging outfits! :)

>>why no complaints about the women?

Look what you did! you raked up this !!do not suggest Baggies to Women SH as well and take away what ever fantasies left in Man's world. Any more bright ideas Mr.Smarty "Baggie" Pants!!
@sidewinder - and in the process make us ordinary people feel bad abt our bellies ? :))

@archster - If Lara Croft dint wear tights then the $7 I spent in watching the sequel would've got me absolutely zero return value - so i cant complain abt that :)

and i am still laughing at the thought of superheroes having in built BO fighting abilities :))

@aparna - *imagine a dramatic voice* because in or society women have been subjugated for long enuff. i am all abt equality of sexes woman - so if men have flaunted their tights since early nineties - the woman should too :)

@unjustified insanity - oh! the pee theory was brilliant! LOL! but you do realize that there are superheroes with light colored costumes too ;)

@swathi - now you've made me imagine a Victoria Secret like shop for our superheroes :))

@archster - brilliant again! but if only they wore their underpants below their costumes like they are supposed to be worn - that wouldn't be too bad a problem - would it?

@anyesha - aha! now i know who cracked Trasport Phenomenon, Mech Sol and the likes. hats off woman :)

@gvenum - hey! in my mind all female superheroes should wear sleeveless tops and shorts ... and give free car washes :))
laughing- i was waiting, and there it was in the last para...!
er, (this is a serious q, mind)what's with guys and sleeveles tops? maane, WHY is it such a big deal? what if she's hairy with dark patches and stuff?
*mutters* and ennyway sleevelss is sooo usual, everyone wears 'em...
@bridalbeer - ha ha! you know you can me cout on me - if not for anything else, at least unabashed crudeness

@rimi - agreed that sleeveless is almost passe - but i still want my modern female superhero with sleeveless tight top and naval piercing - where is she??
come on...think of it..during races n any sports stuf involving running or jumping ppl wear only tights....its to reduce the effect of friction on them...so its the same logic...superheros obv gotta run n jump LOTS...so they can wear only tights..loose pants wont help...wt say?;)...(whoa!my intellectual thoughts r pouring out)lol
I dont wear tights...so now you know of a sup(p)er hero who prefers boxers:)
@XYZ - for once cant we have a superhero who is chilled out - one who kicks ass but does it without the associated acrobatics - something like a 007 but with a sad love life :)

@vin - that makes me thik of a superhero called boxer boy - what say :)
Couldn't refrain from plugging my blog here. :) I wrote something related a long time ago on my blog - here it is.
Dunno if Austin Powers qualifies as a superhero but his suit sure is 'Shagadellic baiby'
@aditya - shall check out the link promptly

@rohan - super - yes! hero - yes! but uperhero - noooooo! :)
Q :- Why are there no problems with female super heroes dressed in tights?
DAT MAN :- Since i am 80 years old now i really don't remember the reason.......you will have to ask my son EVERY MAN!

Q :-
Why don't u have any problems with superheroes wearing tight suits which reveal their extremely HAUT curves and bee-ee-A-ti-fool )??censored??)

Am i actually supposed to answer this ?

Q :-
(to DAT MAN)
What about other super heroes having to pee?
Do u think that the artist who draws/makes a comic book is actually going to illustrate us peeing?
(DAT MAN whispers :-
Hey if ya want that I'm always ready.Imagine!Getting paid to pee on Teevee/comics!)

Q :- What about boxing superheroes?

Here ya go
Anuj Khanna back in Cls. V ... "Tu ne kabhi socha, yeh Phantom itna hero hai toh jangia pehen kar kyoon ghoomta hai?"

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