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Friday, September 16, 2005

Touch me not ... (or maybe) 

Ahaa! Another risque topic (or so I think). Soon parents will block the URL of this blog from their children's browser list - yeeeeeeaaaah! But before that a big thank you to those millions (yes, literally) of lovers in and outside Nandan in Kolkata - without whose romance this post would've never happened :)

So men are horny bastards (here I go again on my generalization trip) and if you are doing the Nandan/Nalban rounds in Kolkata, you can see the guys trying to get some "action" (or once in a while some "action replay") with their lady loves. Now, lemme remind you that these aren't perverts (or maybe they are) - they are just horny guys in a relationship where the girl likes the guy too but has her inhibitions and limitations :) The whole post is abt how the man treads the line of horniness, taking lil baby steps (or steps that can lead to a baby) ...

Scene Uno - inside the movie hall ... dark and quiet ... in the presence of an erotic European movie, the guy makes his first move ...

The guy gently puts his arms around the girl's seat. Totally harmless - no touching - just on the adjacent seat. Now women, if this ever happens to you - BEWARE. The guy is obviously making a move - coz lets face it - the whole idea of putting your hands stretched around movie seats is very uncomfortable. It's like walking in a dark tunnel hoping to find the soft shoulder on the other end :) The guy then waits for a few minutes to see if the girl is perturbed by his "LoveMove 101". Women, at this point if you are uncomfortable and you want to end this ordeal gracefully, then you better shift a lil, move a lil, just look uncomfortable and the guy will promptly get the hint. If not, he'll then try the whole accidental "Ooops! my hand touched you" routine. Once again, women, silence and nonchalance at this stage means you are giving the fast red car a green signal and anything that happens beyond that will include you in the blame game too. So the guy waits for your reaction - counting One, counting Two ... and he gently rests his finger tips on your shoulders. Remember - it's Never "palm first". It always begins with finger tips coz they give you the golden (yet predictable) excuse of saying "Oh! I dint realize my hand was touching you. I'm really sorry." The palm, on the other hand (and isn't that line ironic) is right there on your face (sometimes literally) and that normally means "yeaaaaah! baby" ...

I feel tempted to describe the more risque routine of the guy touching the girls legs that can be seen outside the movie hall where it begins with gentle finger brushes against the ankle, followed by gentle "I'm itching your ankle routine", and then ... well, well. BUT then some things should be left to the imagination ... probably :)

Comments:
delightful insight into the male psyche!
 
Still working on ur tag
@m and all other females remember to read between, over and under the lines 'here I go again on my generalization trip' :)
 
dude...'fess up...deadly post.

You forgot to include the first kiss...
 
wht......that's all........and just when it was getting interesting.....sad
 
...leaves too much to the imagination...
 
Lol, Shaggydadu, yes, there's defi. that something about the whole Robindro Sodon/Nandan area...maaney firstly it's soo darned fucking inexpensive (I have learnt to avoid using the word 'cheap')...and then there's free AC on a hot sticky day, and come on, parents can't balme you for going to Ray's classy cine centre - they don't care who you went with.
There you go - three birds in one shot.
And sequel please.
 
eta osadharon chhilo :D
 
@m - that's what i do - educate :))

@rohan - thanks for clearing the generalization confusion :)

@anwin - thanks :)

@unjustified - with so many of my friends' blogs being taken up by snooping pornographers - let me not myself make my blog one :)

@kanti - remember boy - no Nandan for you till you leave school :))

@biplabbabu - seriously - on a hot day we could just go in for some crappy movie just to escape the heating up

@teleute - thanks :)
 
this is an unfinished post. why the fuck did you stop mid way? ur like a short story. but u leave it hangin man. and if u wanna turn ur blog into a true panu risque extravaganza. dont stop mid way man. u'll fail miserably. and remember, even kids of 4rth grade kknow stuff about sex these days. so what the heck is censorship? and talkiong about necking spots, u for got good ol, lake, rabindra sarober, in the evenings. thats like a haute spot too.
 
You have the most hilarious blog I've ever read :D great work!
 
"...And just a lil' of that human touch..."
 
@sayantani - ah! lake has been legendary but believe it or not i have never been to lake - and 4th grade kids know abt sex???? :O !!

@mary - thank you very much :)

@aj - ... and a glass of hard liquor ... what else do u want :)
 
Why will men never realise that "Not No" is not equal to "YES"???? This is a relationship for chrissakes, not a logic circuit diagram!
 
guys n their technique no.101 never seem to change
first the brushing of fingers, next holding the hands n if the girl is interested then... (n this is when the wild imagination bit comes)
 
@ideasmith - please don't take away the simple lil joys from us - please *makes sobby face and stands* :)

@swathi - boys will be boys - wanting to be a man :)
 
i just need girls who can give me full pleasure. i m still vergin & want some experience about sex . my no is 9830486461
 
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