Thursday, October 20, 2005

Part too (bad) 

Ok! Now it's part two of yesterday's post. So where were we? We saw the first relationship take place and we also witnessed the first break up. The heartbroken boy felt terrible when he no longer had a girl by his side. He could no longer watch chick flicks that he secretly liked and put the blame on her. The girl's mother is angry too. Coz she has to buy new pillows for her daughter because she has buried her head in her pillow and tears and smeared lipstick are playing havoc with it. But what now? Where do these lovers go from here?

Each one of us secretly rates ourselves and the people we date. The rating systems might vary BUT there's always a secret assessment that's present. So let's say that you think your first love was a 7/10. So after your first break-up, you think that you have a point to prove. You can settle for a new 7 but it'll be terrible if your ex gets herself/himself a 7.5. For that matter s(he) can even get him/her self an 8. What will people say then? Moreover, with all the crap that you've endured - you feel you DESERVE an 8. So the search becomes a tad bit more difficult. Coz we all know that there aren't that many 8s walking single.

But one day you meet an 8. Sitting quietly in a restaurant she smiles at you. You offer to pay for her lunch coz she looked as hot as the kebab she was munching and also coz you knew that the kebabs in that restaurant were a steal. Love blossoms again. Movies. Junk food. Imitation jewelry. Cards - though not as many as earlier since you wanna appear a lil more matured. Soon the first anniversary takes place. Before you know it's two months away from your second anniversary. You've been saving up diligently to buy her that gold pendant with her initials on it and then your friend calls you up. "Hey, I saw your girl friend in the movie theatre with another guy and ... and ... I dunno what to say ... (long silence)". Yup! The feared thing happened. Your 8 found herself a new 8.5 ... and you are back to being single ... again.

So now you need a 9. You've dated an 8 already. That doesn't hold any charm for you. And your 8 has an 8.5 wooing her now. So you HAVE to get yourself a 9. But 9s are like Mallika Sherawat's salwar kameez - they can rarely be seen. And let's face it. You've grown old too. You started off as a 7.5 and even touched 8 for a while BUT that was when the boyish charms were by your side. Now you're an aging 8. Rumors have already started flowing that you'll soon have to forfeit your 8 status and join the 7s. You need to find a 9 fast.

Three months pass by. You are still single. One fine day you hear that there's a single 8 in town. "8s aren't that bad," you say to yourself. Your ex was an 8. Actually if you think objectively your ex was a 7.5. You were just being generous with your grading. So settling for an 8 will definitely not be a step down. So you take your wooing kit (read overdose of male fragnance, hair gel, that shirt you look especially charming in) and set out to win over the single 8. Alas! There was a single male 9 in town too. Three months back he too had a bad break up. Like you he too was waiting for a single 9 but had stepped down for an 8. Too bad that you are'nt a fading 9 yourself. All that aftershave and hair gel went to waste. You're still single.

Three months later you realize that all this grading is a shallow business. Come on, you used to date a 7 and the two of you were happy (or at least that's what you told her). So a 7 will not be that bad either. So the search for a 7 begins. Three months down the line you have the realization that 6.5s are good too ... so 6.5 it is ... six months later you are standing in a night club eyeing 5s ... 4s ... 3s ... 2 bad!

"Mom! Mom! Can you please get me a glass of Horlicks ... and what were you saying abt Sheila aunty's daughter being single????"

SNIP *six months later you are standing in a night club eyeing 5s ... 4s ... 3s ... 2 bad!* SNIP
this is funny! :-p
true. very true. especially in light of an email i received today. and suddenly i feel loads better about myself!

(and that's all i'm saying!)
hahahahaha! rotfl! rotfl!
A most delightful two-parter this has been :) Here's the token curious question - what do you grade yourself as? :)
Moral of story, start hitting on Sheila aunty's daughter before its too late!??
@aindrila - thank you :)

@rimi - come on! all of us would love to know more abt this email :)

@teleute - thank you :)

@megha - thank you thank you :) *a comment from the revered Hawk Award nominee - wow * As far as rating myself is concerned - how shallow do you think i am to actually classify people as numerical value :))

@jax - chah! i shouldn't have posted that info - now junta is calling up Sheila aunty and asking her for her daughter and Horlicks :)
U sure have earned urseld a perfect 10 on the last 2 posts :), incidentally was thinking abt a similar ratings blog sometime back
LOL! Couldn't stop laughing reading this post SO good :D
Lol too cool:-))

The last I heard, Sheila aunty's daughter is gone. Now there is only Sheila auntie!!
@ramani - thanks :)

@rohan - oh please do post the ratings - it would be great :)

@mary - thank you very much :)

@aparna - can we please have a photo of Sheila aunty?? :)
i was in whoops reading this one! Not personal experience, but only good observation skills show me that this is so true!!!you are hilarious...
Hey where's the solution to the physics problem?!? [:)]
ami to emni emni khai. lesse if u get this one.
How vain are we to want pictures? Thinks of endless cups of Horlicks. Changes everything doesn't it?
@jaded - thank you very much. well i wrote a lot from observation too - glad you liked it :)

@aj - oh! that was simple. the answer is always pi :)

@sayantani - obviously i get it - you are forgetting that i grew up in Kolkata too :)

@Ph - yup! ye hai badta baccha kapda chota hota jai :)
Awwww you poor child......tsk, tsk......*fake sympathy exhausted*
ROTFL ....
@ideasmith - thank you thank you *equally fake gratitude expressed* :)

@sridhar - thanks man :)

@ui - aha - isn't this the new Horlicks thing???
very nice post. Funny too. Looks like ive been away too long.
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