Wednesday, October 26, 2005

What a snore ... 

Yup! I've had it with snores and snorers. What's with me and snorers - which part of my personality do they find so appealing?? My dad's a snorer, my exes have been snorers, almost every other person I've shared an apartment with has been snorer - why oh why oh why?

There are several kinds of snorers (and yessss, I know abt them). Lets start with my dad's style - the Snoring Moustache Style. Most male snorers follow this style where they feel that snoring is like a moustache - the pride of a man. These people don't even feel bad abt snoring and keepin others awake. Ask them abt their snoring and they nonchalantly mention, "Oh! Real men snore!". How sexist is that?

Another snoring style that's very close to my heart is the "feminine style". First of all men should never see a girl snoring. It completely spoils the image. Imagine imagining a beautiful girl sleeping. You probably think that she's the cutest thing you could probably lay your eyes on and then you hear her snore - one moment you are thinking "what a beautiful thing lyin" and then next moment you are like "nope, that's more like a beautiful lion" :) However, from my limited experience, I've gathered that women are more attuned to the swooshing snore, where they repeatedly make gentle "phooooshhhh phooooshhhhh sounds" - a lot gentler trend compared to their male counterparts I'd say. Another nice thing abt women snorers is that they don't make grotesque nostril bloating faces like men. They go for a different look. The nostril rarely comes into action for female snorers and they go for the whole "fish face" style where they blow gentle fish-like kisses with their lips and occasionally add in a spit bubble. How very cute :)

Finally, I wanna mention my apt mate's style coz that's the original inspiration for this post. I call it the "Anticipation Style" where the snorer likes to mix it up a little. Always keeping you guessing "What'll he do next?" You can never be at ease. It starts with loud "Gaaaaaa gaaaa"s and then he softens it a lil and just when you think "that was it" he does a lil feminine "phoooosh phooosh". Not too bad. But then he starts the roaring style again, with more gusto than ever. And not to forget the moments of silence that is occasionally thrown in. I've figured that one of the most terrible things to do at night is to lie and think "What's it gonna be next, what's it gonna be - the swooshhh or the roar?" Hmmm!

P.S. D if you are reading this, stop giving me the excuse that "I only snore when I have a cold." Dude, you have to be the coolest person around then coz you seem to have a cold every night :)

P.P.S - Couldn't help but add this question - why is it that people don't wake up at the sound of their own snoring???

oh shit man!
you're really funny!

"Whats it gonna be!!!"

seriously hilarious! how do you come up with these seriously "hatke" things!
On behalf of Mr. and Mrs. Nandi:

How the $#%^ do you get to watch your exzzz snore? Would this involve the two of you being in the same bed .. (heart attack!!!)
@ze-egaggerator - thank you thank y ou - you are really kind :)

@jaded - oh trust me i dint come up with this. have an apt mate like D and a few sleepness nights and a post like this will wurely follow :D

@momANDdad - how very kind of you to read my blog. we shall take the question of how i saw (and heard) my exes snore offline BUT while you are at it - can you please send me some cash - I could surely use it :))
"Oh! Real men snore!"
"Gaaaaaa gaaaa"
hahaha LOL!
amazing man!
now the question is.......
do YOU snore?
(plz provide apt descriptions :)
Man! I hate to admit it but I was caught snoring on video tape!!! Indisputable evidence. The tape was then mailed to all aunties uncles friends and the like.

The upside is whenever I travel, I get a room to myself. :D
hehehehe...i was once travelling with my grandfather on a train..2nd class..noone in the compartment could sleep coz of the LOUD lion like noises u described..next morning dadai wakes up all bright n happy n asks grumpy man next toh im.."ki dad bhalo ghum holo"" and grumpy man replies witha straight face "nah ki kore aar hobe...aapni ghumolen je..aamra aar ki kore ghumoi." so I know exactly what u mean.

btw...do u snore?? what does ur roommate say? or ur ex for that matter? ;-)
@ui - well i dont snore - some people have said that occasionally make blowing sounds when i have a cold - but otherwise no complaints till now :)

@sanketh - thanks for the idea man :) coz my apt mate has been pertering me for proof that he snores (apparently my sleepless state is not goof enuff) - and he doesn't consider recored sound is not good enuff for him

@ron - oh! brilliant sorty - brilliant - Lol! as far as moi and snoring - haven't had complaints till now :)
Great blog this of yours :)

Whenever I want some fun, I drop in here ...

I am your BITSian Junior by the way...not sure if you know me...

Keep up the GREAT work :)
I think you ought to try for the job of a stand-up comedian :) , and believe me, you will give Russel Peters or Chris Rock a run for their money if you could manage to speak these things in a stage :)
Lol, too cool...sleeping with a snorer somehow brings to mind the image of sleeping in the Sunderbans with the Royal Bengal tiger around... does not make for very peaceful sleep :-))
i thankfully belong to a clan of non-snorers and
wud runs miles if I find one in my vicinity esp.
being the finicky sleeper that I am

(Psssst.. femal snorers??? do they exist???)
@whoiscb - thank you thank you. very sweet of you to say that :) i really wanted to be a stand up comedian for a while - sadly they dint have comedians recruiting in Pilani :(( btw, were you and i in BITS together at any point?

@aparna - well that is one bagh that sure does bug then - doesn't it :)

@swathi - how did you manage to ensure that snorers stay away from you - how how?? oh, btw - women do snore :)
I know someone who does. Wakes up to his own snoring that is....drills a hole right thru everyone's heads with the noise and all of a sudden wakes up with a start.

@swathi--women do snore! i do. and not in that feminine phoosh phoosh way either. i give grunting snores that will make even the baghs in question a run for the money.

my dad gives regular contribution to the snorers hall of fame, daily. his snores are deep , loud and long drwan. resembles a banshee a her vocal best, with laryngitis.
blimey i think i am a terrible person to sleep with!i snore bloody loudly!
@ideasmith - as usual trust this smithy to turn out the most novel products :)

@sayantani - wow! women - not only do you snore - you ar eout in te open with it - way to go girl - way to go :)

@mostly_speechless - try getting another loud snorer - tat thing they call destructive interference might take place :)
I can recall a thousand funny incidents when someones snoring would keep the others awake while they would sleep on blissfully unaware of the trouble. My dad takes pride in his "nashika gorjon" as he calls it and I have no idea how my mom puts up with it night after night.
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