Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Sid leaves for India tomorrow. If things work out the way that I hope they do, then it might be a while before Sid and I meet again. Sid and I've stayed together for a little more than two years now and ... I'm digressing. This post is not my sentimental goodbye to Sid. I can do that in person while forcefully keeping some of his valuables with me :) This post is abt change. Change that is not necessarily good or bad but is like the car that zooms past a flock of pigeons munching grains, making them fly away in a jiffy. You always knew that the grains will finish and the birds will eventually leave, but it's the suddenness of the moment that surprises you.

It's been four years and a few months since I came to San Diego. Just a flashback in black and white down memory lane tells me what a different person I was then. People who knew me then and have been kind enough to not shun contact will vouch for that. Four changing digits of the calendar witnessed dearest of friends becoming complete strangers, while unknown faces turned friends. I remember Rishi, Vineet, John, Satya ... that was 2001. I remember G, G and G ... that lasted till 2004. And Shubhra, Sid, Vipul, Siddharth, Rakesh and Dipu ... that's gonna last till tomorrow. Then Sid leaves. Dipu leaves on the 9th. Then I plan to leave.

We are men. We don't go for weepy goodbyes. Those are best left for Kate Hudson movies. We've already planned out how we'll meet in February. "Don't worry, we'll just drive down to your place," Vipul said. I told Shub that I will come down too. But will we? Or will this be like the time when a whole bunch of us from Pilani promised to meet up in Bangalore? Or like the time when a group of eighteen year olds, in navy blue and white, exchanged telephone numbers and "lines for me" in cheap diaries outside a Central Kolkata school? Or the time when a guy and a girl stood in a Chennai railway station and did the whole "You won't forget me, na" routine? That girl and guy don't speak no more. I've probably bumped into many of those navy blue clads on the roads of Kolkata and not even recognized them. The people from Pilani have an e-group where we wish each other on our birthdays. But the number of e-mails is fast decreasing.

WE ALL FORGET. We all move on with new friends. The old ones fade away from our memory. Wives of the new friends invite us over for dinner. "The chicken is awesome," I say, while taking another piece from the steaming pot. "Where did you learn the recipe?" "Oh this friend of mine from high school called Sid taught me. He was a great cook," the bhabi shines in praise.

"Oh! I used to stay with this guy called Sid," you add in. "I was supposed to meet him last February."

my got! tis is is ze most cozzest i haff seen ze nandy being sentimentalist! but It does strike ze right chordz. now, zen, go eat some chocolate to drown out ze , how do u say, ze morbid nostalgia.
Beautiful post!

I can so identify with the part where you describe promising a meet with your Pilani friends and parting with school friends in Kolkata.

And it's Dipuda from my lab 'tseems...:).
Daarun likhecho. Can relate to everything you wrote. Hope you and Sid don't just move on in life and stay in touch later as well.
Speaking of change... you need to see this:


Memories do remain!
@sayantani - what language is that (or should i say zat) good woman :)

@dd - thank you :) yes, we all think that things will be the same between friends but they change :( and yes, it's your lab sr dipu i am staying with :)

@ron - i hope so too - lesse

@aj - thanks for the photos man :)
It happens.
This was nice and touching :-)

And so very true. People flit in and out of ones life and i guess those who were meant to stay or want to stay, stay on.
Awww come one...you're gonna make me cry now. I understand what you say about friends moving in and out of your life and how everything else changes with time. Someone once told me that "life is a journey and friends are passing figures". I don't know if that is true. I try to hold on. Because I hate things changing around me. I've said goodbye in cheap diaries, in front of schools and college, in peoples homes, over the phone.....some have really disappeared. some have not. And I believe you can actually hold on, if it really is meant to be. Like we have a whole group of school friends scattered across the globe who email each other on a daily basis as a group so that we can keep in touch with all that is happening in each other's life. I would be a lost for many different reasons if it had not been for the enduring friendship.
I wish you and all your friends a happy future and hope that you guys really can hold on (weepy farewell or not).
WE ALL FORGET. We all move on with new friends- Pretty bad coming from u .....would have expected something better......anyways to some there are just friends- doesn't matter if they r new or old.....
Sometimes its just not the fault of time or geography. Friends change with time or they meet other people . And one fine day after exchanging the nth email or the n+1 th phone call you realise the connection is no longer
there...you cannot relate to each other anymore. That is when you fade out of each other's life in a dignified manner. This has been my experience for most parts...took me quite some time to come to terms with it.
Have also wondered about those best buddies from Pilani who only feature in conversations that begin with "in my psenti sem..." or" in my third year..." these days. Looking at the bright side, four years back anyone who told me that I would be reading Sagnik Nandy's daily ramblings every morning sometime in the future, would probably have gotten a you-crazy-twit look from me.
WE ALL FORGET - And thank god for that!
If we didnt move on, life would be quite sad, isnt it? Things change, and friends leave... new ones come. If we were to never forget the pain of losing the old ones, life would be really sad.. or so me thinks.
oopsie!! that was NOT a funny one..came here looking for something to smile about but leaving with a..hmm..how do i put it... heavy heart?? nah..thats too heavy..;))
This reminded me of what happened to us, when we left school.
I had always thought that my friends and I would be different- we'd keep in touch through thick and thin but it's pretty much all gone now...just a few wishes and calls sometimes, if we are lucky. Really sad, the way we all drift apart but no use thinking about it, i guess.

Beautifully expressed post.
:-) What can I say. But such is life.
Very reminiscent of that shot from DCH when the three friends stare out at the ships at the sea and wonder if they ever meet again. Well legend has it that they did in the climax of the movie and I am sure you will too in Feb
@srin - thanks :)

@aparna - i agreee - the most unexpected ppl and moi have remain friends for such long times

@prerona - :(

@brown magic - major senti menti, right? :)

@m - seriously, as i just sad, ppl you thought you will ever forget disappear while other who you least thought abt turn best buddies :)

@ari - as i write this comment i am also chatting with you - so shall not write anything :)

@anyesha - seriously. i know you a lot more through your blog than i knew abt you in person - for starters i never knew and used the fact that you cook well :) the most prominent memory i have of you from Pilani is you and Kunal writing something abt me and sending it to stage during Mr. and Ms. Oasis - grrrrr :)

@casablanca - very true

@ramya - sorry :(

@jaded - thank :)

@sanity - true

@rohan - let's hope so buddy :)
well yes, plenty senti. felt like somebody needed a hug.
:) an emoticon to show i dont mean that in a mean way, but rather in a - I'm picking up what you're throwing down way.
aakgnkI can see it. You are going to die alone, and three days later they will find your dead body, man. And when you do I shall filch your iPod. Muhahahaha, not to mention your poster of Tom Cruise barechested. (More Muhahaha follows).
couldnt help seeing the other comments and i am wondering why you possess a "barechested" tom cruise poster??? ahem.. ahem...:) maybe you should put up a blog about it so that the to-be wedding prospects would be warned fairly in advance..:))
Change is very unsettling. I hate to loose friends and start over again, but life goes on. Well, we will get to read about new characters in your blog :)
@brown-magic - how sweet :)

@avinash-modi - just because you are getting married that doesn't mean you post rude comments in your friend's blog - that too the same friend who is carefully keeping your tom cruise poster so that your wife doesn't get to know abt your lurid past :)

@ramya - ... good woman you believed Avinash Modi ... Avinash Modi???

@ratna - i hope so too :)
How true!
When I started reading your post, seemed at first like a usual glycerine-makeup shot to me but then as i kept drifting away from the lines and immersed myself into thoughts about what nostalgia means to me, heres' what i came up with and thought to send it across to you...
When your mind keeps flowing...
Just let it pass through the eternal day like a candle in the wind...
Never try to hold it back to yourself..--since..
They were never meant to be yours...
They had come to fly past your den..
--and fleet past you like a stray of light which never grew up in thy mind....
The shadows of the distant storm gave you a lightning from the grazed sky.....and asked you to let go of them as you had kept your grip firm on those tender years....
We don't belong to this eternal world...No one is ours...so can they never be yours...
Dream the beauty alive....and you shall never feel the absence since no one other than your true spirited self was meant to be with you..
Just close your eyes wide shut and the eternal soul shall truly find itself a hideous safe in your mind!
Since I chanced upon your blog, you have always always made me laugh with your impeccable sense of humour! It's rare you know! (Couple of my closest friends are blessed with it and yes we are very much in touch:-)Thank God for that!)
But with this post you really made me cry. That was unexpected!
This happens to each one of us at some point in life, I just hope we strive hard enough to never forget in our hearts the lovely bonds of friendship we create! I also hope you don't lose touch with Sid and the rest of the gang..
@ojas - :)

@rajasree - very well written - abstract but thats what i liked - i could add my own meaning to it. i have to confess that your comments are very unique :)

@minal - i hope so too. i m glad my post struck a chord with you
loved the analogy of the pigeons.

but i guess we wud remember to keep in touch with those whom we wud never want to let go..
tat was a beautiful post kindling the memories of many long lost friends..feels nostalgic!! but u said "WE JUST FORGET"..but we dont...if u had forgotten all ur old friends n sweetheart then u wudnt hv mentioned them in this post tat too vividly remembering the places n incidents with them..i mean if u had forgotten these names wudnt hv even struck u while writin this post...the reality ,i feel,not just u , even myself n mostly everyone is tat we DONT FORGET.. not just u but also myself toon many others..we just give less imporatnce to it..things tat seemed soo important to us n whic meant 'everything' to us then is now just a 'small,sweet memory' hidden in some tiny corner of our heart...we dont forget..its just tat we change priorities n importances tat we place on someone...we just move on carryin a small memory with us tat is not going to affect us much..but we still remember somewhere someplace tiny n deep down!!!dont u think so???
U write beautifully man From ur post , I kind of figured that u are a techie.Think u have missed ur calling,u should have been a writer..
Just one line from Bob Marley
All the good friends we made,
All the good friends we lost, along the way

Check out Rabbi's Gill Te Guitar if u can...captures the drifting away of old friends due to marriage,jobs, amereeeka brilliantly
@swathi - but they too should feel that way right? tricky matter i is woman :)

@xyz - brilliant comment again :) so what happened to the blog you started? you had stopped updating it for a while and then i lost the url *i should seriously update my blogroll* can you resend me the link please :)

@anon - thanks. there are many things i wanted to be - including a techie - so it's not that bad :) given up career dreams - now that's another post :)
why you no post today? what i do for entertainment now?
brown magic-so true,so true! lol
Oh! Lovely post.
my blog is shut down..i dont maintain any blog now...the one i started sometime back( just one post) no longer exists..coz of some technical problem i closed it...some damn prob where i myself found it difficult to access my own blog...some technical problem i guess!it was too difficult. so i just left the blog n closed it permanently after tat first post.didnt post anything after tat..n i didnt create any other blog after tat...as of now i DONT maintain any blog..i was pretty busy last month n besides the prob in accessing my blog i didnt hv the time to create another blog n maintain it..i wont start one for sometime now atleast for a month now...if i do in future mabbe after 2 or 3 months coz this month i cant coz i m really busy even to read ur blog n leave a comment...this is the last comment i m leavin u for the month...4m tmw u wont find any comments 4m me(i have no plans to but anywaz)..ill defn let u know for sure:)..i am busier these days with studies n exams n the whole month of december ill be very busy with studies,assignments n EXAMS n wat not!!(ohh i hate it!!) so i cant start one now...tis will be the last comment i am writin in ur blog this month...4m tmw will be totally held up n engaged in studies..will be very much busy for this whole month till these exams get over...so cant visit ur blog n write comments for this whole month of december as my exams are there for the whole of this month till the end..this is my last comment 4 this month..so 4m tmw u wont find any of my comments on ur blog for a month...this is the last comment..so catch u after these xams n stuff get over n i become freei.e next month..hv a g8 time! ur blog is excellent! keep it rocking:)..byee!
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