Thursday, November 17, 2005

Part Three - return of the king (for his queen) 

Women have stopped talking to me thinking it was me who trained their men. Men have stopped talking to me thinking I've betrayed their trust by letting out their secrets. Animals give me dirty looks because that's what animals always do. And still I write the third part of this post as promised. Yes! ladies, gentleman and little Buzo - it's time to touch upon the all important topic of gifts. (For all those who haven't read the posts leading to this one - read this and that.)

Gifts are very very important in the "guy abroad and girl in India" romance. Gifts are the key to all the reservations she has in her mind against you. So play this card carefully. You have to keep in mind that you are trying to woo someone who hangs out with a lot of people whose boyfriends stay just next to them (sometimes even on top of them). So while these gal pals boast abt how "my guy surprised me with a bunch of roses last night" or "my guy is the most amazing kisser", your lady love has little to show off abt her long distance wooer. She tried mentioning the name of your university once or maybe she mentioned the salary you draw in your job but the moment her best friend's bike riding boyfriend got all her friends tickets for the latest Shahrukh Khan movie, everyone forgot abt you. Some day the thought will pop in her head - "it'll be so nice if my guy is here too". Bingo! That's when the gift helps.

The first gift is very important! You screw up with the first gift and you might not get a second chance. Don't start with flowers - if sent from US, they'll wither and if sent from some company back home, it wont impress her that much. Please don't send her a dress either; coz if you get the size wrong, you are dead - nothing hurts a girl as much as a beautiful dress she can't wear. Send her something that you still don't get in India OR something that is very expensive in India. Perfumes are as good as it gets. You make her smell good and she'll remember you everytime she smells that scent. Don't be cheap - go for one of the brands - nothing less than a Chanel or CK please. Play the first card well and thereafter you can be cheap and give her local brands and say "It's a new one that just came out and all the women in my office are raving abt it." But no compromises with the first one please.

The iPod Shuffle can be a great first gift too. A tad bit expensive mind you but a lot cheaper than what it is in India. Not only will the iPod speak for itself, it'll speak for you too. The next time her friends talk abt how their boyfriends did blah and bluh, all she'll have to do is plug the ear phones in her ear. All eyes will open and all mouths will shut. Yeah baby! If the Shuffle is too expensive for you - buy her a Palm Pilot. If that's expensive too OR if you are really cheap - settle for the best alternative - exotic chocolates. Mind you - the term is Exotic. Don't send her Nestle bars coz she can get that in India too. Go for Godiva. If you are really reallllly cheap - even a truck load of Ferrero Rochers can help. Coz these are chocolates that are still considered to be exotic in India and are much cheaper when bought here. So remember - the first gift should reinforce the notion that "my guy is a catch"!!

But the first gift is a double edged sword. A very expensive first gift increases expectations for a second one. And it's just a matter of time before her birthday comes and you can't blame her for expecting a big ring then (maybe even with a woman's best friend sitting in the middle). So the trick is to send one of those "cho chueeeet follow up gifts" just after you send the first gift. Say a big soft toy or flowers from India. This gift, if sent soon enough, will ease out her expectations, while keeping the first gift fresh in her memory. Thereafter you can send her three small gifts and a big one for every two months and she'll be happy.

Wooof! Am I glad that this topic is over???

with general consent,we hereby declare you the king of matrimonial alliance and believe me,all that knowledge needs to be really applauded!!! so here's one 4 u!yay!!!
_/|\_ You are the guru:) You know too much theory ;)
"It's a new one that just came out and all the women in my office are raving abt it."
Careful... she might then start wondering why you know what perfume your colleague wears ;) You dont wanna start the suspicion game already.. hahahaha!
Wow that was quite an insight...it's tough to mantain the balance between cheap and expensive...aha..!!! How I wish I knew these tricks of the trade before, I would have had beaten Bill Gates by now by saving all those bucks :))

A great post, keep it up buddy..
Nandi, tu sahi mein hai gandi..:)
iPod Shuffle?? Wow!! Really??? Very impressed.Damn!! I KNEW I should have replied to that NRI guys email ;-)
@aindrila - *humbly bows* thank you thank you *throws kisses at the audience* :))

@ratna - yess, maybe the ppl who are doing the practicals should write in their blogs too :)

@casablanca - what abt telling her "i was just asking them what to get you" :)

@docs - as rich as gates??? what did you gift them dude :)

@ron - reply now - for all you know he is still there and iPod has a sale going on ;)
Any theories on how a woo a videshi girl from desh...or is that one hell of a wishful thinking:)
did u delete my comment? :(
i had said i'm glad its over, too!
i hope the guy who sends me gifts doesnt read ur post!


loved the buidl up and then cooling down with the gift-size :)
u know something?
about the giving gifts part :)
it really should be the other way round
poor us :(

Atlast we are at the gift giving stage. Good insight into the female psyche. Although for me Ferrero Rocher would do just fine.
what amazing insight!you have been blessed with these excellent powers of perception!
daroon holo...specially oi expensive-cheap balancing act ta!
take a bow!
nothing hurts a girl as much as a beautiful dress she can't wear.

Absolutely. Now that's somethign that should be atched on to guys' minds !
tumi sotyi osadharon.
wouldnt the appreciation of a perfume be somewhat subjective?
you are the boss, man, you're the BOSS! after this, i'll so bond with anybody who sends me flowerd from a local shop right after the iPod shuffle (since we obviously share a taste in blogs, if you get my drift...)

that, of course, is before i kill him. unimaginative cheapo copycat!
@vin - why don't you write that :)

@prerona - me and delete comment? nahin nahin! and yessss, i have seen the build up trick in action :)

@ui - shall repeat an oft repeated line - aren't you a lil too young to be sending girls gifts :)) :D

@m - see Rochers will do for me too - but i am guessing we are old school. i see my sister and her bf and things are a lot more upmarket these days :(

@jaded - thank you thank you :)

@ash - i would have thought so a few years back - till i gifted someone that was a size too big - can you get the implications :((

@teleute - thank you :) *does fancy bow*

@anon - true but not when you are India and the bottle reads Chanel :)

@rimi - ha ha :) thank you :) i should put your last ine of the comment as a PS on my post then :)
and i shall also repeat one of my oft repeated lines :) --

i don't send girls gifts.I get them to treat me instead :)
From personal experience, here are some specific recos:

Perfume: Victoria's Secret Romance. (VS knows how to make a woman feel sexy, plus the bottle is in a heart shape, so you can't go wrong here).

For chocolate, I echo others sentiments on Rocher. I have found that they are actually better received than Godiva. If you are serious about chocolate, then the another option is to go to a belgian chocolate maker's website and send some choco from Belgium (http://www.chobel.be/burie/). Lindt from Switzerland is very good too.

Lastly quality, original watches: Anne Klein 2 has excellent models for less than $100. Try Omega or Skagen, they are excellent too.

Need more ideas: browse BlueNile.com, RedEnvelope.com.
its been a while...its been a long while...that someone gave me flowers...tulips...I loved those moments...I smelled them...and now I cry about them...
@ui - shame on you - shame shame :)

@ankit - now that's some good and tested advice i'd say :)

@anon - tulips are nice ... and so is tulip joshi :)
Another deft touch is to worm out any book/ CD the girl is wanting to read/ listen but which is not available in India. That always is a nice, subtle touch.

Victoria's Secret perfumes are tacky, unless of course the babe wouldn't know better.

I think pens, delicate silver jewellery (available for under $100.00), funny tee-shirts, perfume, body shop-lush-sephora products, music CDs, VCDs etc. are all nice first time gifts.
me want i-pod. btw, r u sending out potential feelers for shaadi.com afficiendo females who might be interested in u coz u'll send them i-pods?
Excellent analysis! I am now wondering what the thesis of your PhD was...
@plumpernickel - great ideas. but how often do you get books that are not affordable or accessible in India? Cds I know it happens a lot.

@sayantani - you can be rest assured that i am not sending any feelers :) and also that i am not planning to buy anyone iPods :)

@bridal - :) *smiles aways*
Pretty often. There is always a time lag of about 3 months for book releases here in India, unless of course it is timed worldwide like hari putter. Some books are never available in India, because publishers think they would never sell.
On the chocolates front - I would suggest Valrhona (their dark chocolate bars are awesome), Scharffenberger (fantastic dark chocolates again), and gift boxes from Michael Rechhiuti and La Maison Du Chocolat. Nothing like showing a touch of class with your first gift :)
this is when i fervently wish i were dating in this era of i-pods ***sigh****

(btw u cud release a book 'bout this in India and I bet it wud be a big success n do remember to make me ur desi PR mgr :)
funny.......but i still belong to the old school of thought. i personally feel uncomfortable in buying expensive gifts if i am dating seriously. somehow it does not feel right. i believe in transcedental love blah blah

My theory is always keep your eyes n ears open for a hint of what your woman wants. for example my ex had once mentioned name of a poet(some obscure guy) that she used to like his work a lot. well i hunted for all his books world over (ok, i exaggerated a little) & gifted the set on her birthday. or once i sent a 15 page hand-written letter praising her n our love n blah blah blah. women are suckers for "sensitive" side of you man, so play that card & "vijayshree" tumhari hogi & u will save a lot of money.

& if a woman shows slightest inclination of being a material girl either i drop her totally or shower with expensive gifts to have a temp affair to satiate the carnal "rakshas" in me

but now i guess i have become too old to make so much effort.....probably explains my single status.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?