Monday, November 14, 2005

The Return of the Saga - phone(y) calls 

Yup! I'm back with part two of "how to woo desi gal from videsh". A quick recap of the not so interesting happenings till now - parents get boy and girl in contact, guy girl both do the "no mom i dont wanna marry" drama and finally agree "just to make their families happy" and then the guy sends the first email. The girl mails back, then the guy mails back, then the girl mails back - then one day guy writes - "Hey, why don't I give you a call". Girl smiles in her lil room and wonders what his voice will sound like and the saga continues ...

Now phone calls are a totally different ball game (as a matter of fact now is the time that you'll really need balls). The biggest challenge you'll face is "what to say". With an email you can think in advance and write whatever you want. Even reuse similar emails sent by other friends. But with a phone conversation it's all "real time" baby. Every third day my friend, who is the inspiration behind this post, asks me for topics to touch upon. Well, things are gonna be pretty simple when you are on the "once a week call schedule". Then you just start off with "So how was your week?" and follow up on all the things s(he) said in the previous conversation (e.g. "So how was that party that you were supposed to go to?" "Did you finally come out of the closest?" etc.) But once phone calls turn to bi or tri weekly affairs then you have to tri a lot harder :) This list might help you then:

1. Tell me abt your family - try to get to the cousins coz that's gonna keep you busy for a while.

2. Tell me abt your friends. Concentrate on school friends and saccharine cute kindergarten stories. "What? I can't believe that you too has a friend called Sanjay. So did I", "You studied for the wrong exam too? This is spooky. I did the exact same thing when I was in fourth standard" and similar blah blahs can help.

3. Past relationships. Hmmm! This is tricky. The rule is to ask the question, then see what is hurled back at you, and play accordingly. Don't be a Sehwag and decide in advance that you'll go for a sixer. Don't be a Dravid and decide to never hit a sixer. Be a Sachin. Give the bowler what he gives you. So if the girl says, "Yeah! I dated a few men. But nothing serious!" then play with the nonchalance angle. But if she bowls you a full toss and says "My last relationship was a really serious one" ... then offer her sympathy. "I understand what you are saying. It can be difficult to get betrayed by the ones you love."

Don't get me wrong - I'm not asking you to lie - I'm asking you to play along till you can offer the truth :) So till that point arrives "I completely understand" and "I know what you mean" are the buzz words for you :D

4. Secrets - Aaaah! I love this :) The best way to get close to a person. The "ok, tell me something abt you that I wouldn't know" angle always helps. Remember to be coaxing and NOT demanding and she'll surely share. And with share she'll dare. Remember to always be surprised (coz, she's sharing a secret duh!). The "That's so sweet" card can be used aplenty. "That's so sweet. I can't believe taht lil Ms. Dutta was actually scared of bathrooms."

I really wanted to write abt the "first gift". That's my favorite part. But the post is too long even by my standards - so that'll be the third and final part of this trilogy. A gift for someone you want to love :)

P.S. My friend actually doesn't mind me writing abt his experiences and is willing to forgive me if readers offer more topics for conversations. And please don't say "just go with the flow" - coz that doesn't work too well for him. Flow slows him down :)

Some guy is going to get a "Have u been reading Sagnik Nandy's Blog?!" yelled back at him someday....u can imagine the rest of the conversation :)
bah bah!! koto gyan tomar shotti. agree with tipsy topsy...the day is near.
why dont u start a agony aunt column

nandi tu hain gandi
very interesting ... :)
@tipsy - i hope that i am not that guy :D

@ron - :) na na these are all speculations - i hope my friend doesn't get into trouble :)

@docsdope - gemme a newspaper buddy and i will do it sir :D

@prerona - very sweet ... :)
waah waah

nice ideas.. they might be of use sometime....
some poor guy might actually follow your advice!and then have you considered that law-suits and cases might be filed against you?!!lol!
btw the accidents the girl went through can also be a new topic na?
just trying to offer novel ideas!
@ze-exag... - i hope someone finds some use for this man - after all i am a researcher, right :))

@jaded - and now i need a lawyer who reads this blog to support me - i wonder if archster still reads my blog ... hmmmm!
this just keeps getting better :)))
And about flowers across continents, hasn't the dude heard of online websites that send the flowers direct to her house??? Awww come on now...
Now I know where is the guy I am talking to, is getting his ideas from!!! Just kidding;)
Ah, talking about movies is one hell of a conversation. And then leads on to oh whose your favourite actor yada yada yada :D
honestly! i started writing a "all the things that are ACTUALLY spoken about" comment to this post. but it's strange.
people who are doing the whole arranged marriage thing know that the conversation comes naturally. you don't have to think, you don't have to wonder, you don't have to plan. there is always so much to say, and so many things to figure out about each other.
if at this stage ppl don't know what to talk about, imagine 30 years down the line.. they'll be scratching their brains out.
for your "friend": ask her to help you with something *only she* can help you with. people like feeling important (works with guys and girls). anything - help with a particular recipe is easy ot perhaps advice on a present for your sister-in-law (must be a relative, shouldn't be a sister- because wtf dude, you can't pick a present for your sister?)
@m - see, that's when you know that i belong to a social group that is not very romantic :) we send electronic goods (albeit the discounted ones) but never flowers :((

@anon - oooops! lets assume you dint read this post :))

@casablanca - trust me, i tried doing that with one of my exes who had seen very fe movies - so we actually went down to the stories of every movie she had seen :)

@anubha - very true. i am not qualified to comment on this bu ti recently asked a female friend of mine who is getting married if she was ever worried abt running out of things to talk abt ad she said - "once you have children you just take care of them. you dont have to talk that much" - hmmmm!

@janet - now that's a killer advice. thank you on my friend's behalf :)
lol!!! i just so loved both your posts !!! i will keep coming back sir if you keep writing! cheers! :)
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