Monday, December 12, 2005


So sometime back I had ranted abt the tradition of the candlelight dinners and how it's probably a "man concept". Recently a similar thing hit my mind - it's those petty acts like opening a door, pulling the chair and helping with the coat, that men do and women term as being classy and chivalrous. Yeah sure!

Now think rationally - what's so bloody classy or chivalrous in holding a door for a lady. Before you jump to conclusions lemme state here that I always hold the door for ladies and quite a few of them have been kind to compliment me for that - but seriously - what's the deal? Are we trying to say that the women can't even open a door or pull a chair? Or are we saying that these are such mammoth tasks that a man deserves kudos for doing them? Seriously! Taking a bullet for your lady is chivalry. Fighting the most feared knight in the land for your lady with bare hands is chivalry. Sitting through two hours of How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days for your lady and laughing when she does, IS chivalry. BUT opening a freakin door with one hand and holding it for ten seconds? Naaaah! I don't see anything remotely chivalrous with that. And guess what? A lot of men are getting away with not doing the above mentioned daunting tasks (specially the chick flick bit) by just pulling chairs and holding lame doors. And that's not a good thing.

Now lemme hypothesize what must have happened. Some guy and girl must have got into one of those "What have you done for me?" fights. The guy would have ran out of things to say and quickly thought of something inconsequential like "I always hold the door for you". Given how insignificant the whole thing is the girl would have been like "What? You do that for me?" and the guy would have nodded a diligent nod. Thereafter the guy always had to do this petty act and the girl raved to her friends abt it. "My boy friend doesn't even let me open the door," she must have gloated. And that's how it all started - where friends of the girl and their friends and their friends and their friends made their boy friends act as make shift door men. Nice!

Ah! That is an excuse too!
* goes back ruing all those missed opportunities :(( *
Nice and a very true post.....it seems
u r very rude and classless if u do otherwise.......
Hmm.. what can i say? the evolution sounds true and maybe all those not-so-gladiators can get away with this :)
Are you trying to be cute or are you dumb? Rather a lame post, faking ignorance of the well-known norms of society.
nice one dude!

its nothing chivalrous... its just that ladies need attention and a man holdin a door for them... wallah! how much more attention could they ask for ? this rule or tradition has been bought up by early woman.
Could not agree more.I totally hate guys who open doors for me. Infact if you ever open the passenger side car door for me(on that rare occassion when
you are giving me a ride)before you open your/driver side door, you shall be at the bottom of my list of annoying people. On the other hand, since the boyfriend never opens doors etc. etc. for me, many have presumed that we don't have a loving relationship!
Okay I believe the opening the door and pulling out the chair business originated from the fact that the guy wanted to do everything for his lady and not have her lift a finger (literally) and got labeled chivalrous. On the other hand I am always opening up the door for my hubby because he hates when the static hits him everytime he touches the door and I could care less. Anyone observing us would think me to be rather "chivalrous" methinks.
if it helps in getting laid & not hearing the headache excuses, why argue
now i kno what goes thru ur mind when u do the above actions. ;) ur competeing with the country u liv in on the issue of getting emotional and moral amunition for later use. bah bah.
@sanity - you can always make up for it now :)

@anon - and not just that - they keep talking abt you to everyone else :(

@me - gladiators are now a thing of the past and HBO specials - alas :(

@reed - well, if you think so

@ze-exag - what say we have some thing like this too - like the woman has to press the flush or something on those lines :)))

@anyesha - now if only there were more women like you good lady :)

@m - aha static - thats a big problem for me too - specially with car doors - maybe i will pot abt it :)

@anon - well what can i say - things seemed to have worked well for you ;)

@sayantani - not just the country - its a World thing now :)
but the door is so heavy, my slight girlish arms could never ever manage to do it all by myself. i need a big strong man to open my door.

really its just a woman's way to see what random bullshit we can make a guy do.

honestly, we had a meeting, took a vote and decided. its why we ask you about your feelings too. just to see if we can get away with it.

mwah ha ha ha.
haha.. talking about watching chick flicks, have you "chivalrously" tried watching these??? poor poor you..:)) and i guess since there many guys that beleive opening doors is an act of chivalry..why do we have to take the effort to do it???:))
I always thought I was the sort of person who disliked these archaic chivalries. Till I moved to LA and actually had men around me open doors for me. And you know, it felt very nice.

A few years ago, when I was single (sans boyfriend) I used to wonder if men who perform such chivalries are actually hitting on me. But now, post-boyfriend, there are many men who still do such niceties, in purely altruistic terms :). And that's really charming.

But holding doors open are just plain good manners, and should be practiced irrespective of gender.
@brown magic - what is this? are we men mere objects of amusement??? :))

@ramya - yes i have :D and have done a lot more too :)

@thalassa - i am too tempted to crack this joke and so i shall :) here it goes - opening doors for your girl friend??? that sounds Greek to me :)
Nauseating is what it is....this 'so-called' chivalry which is just a mix of male ego, female vanity and laziness on either part to think of what is really meaningful. For a change I agree with you Mr.Nandy...how are u doing?
not bad! not bad at all!
Funny post :)

I agree with Thalassa... it does feel nice when somebody does it for you (holding door open, etc), and I do it too, for others, as she says, irrespective of gender. I dont think of it as "chivalry" but basic manners :) And believe me, many guys have learnt it from me!
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