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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Ex-pectation 

For all you people who like tricky situations - deal with this. What do you do when your ex asks you for your opinion on his/her present? Hmmmm! I've faced several variants of this problem and made people face it as well and I think it's second in my list of awkward moments, following the "fart smell when you are out with a girl and you know it's not you" very closely. Yanyway! Back to the original topic of discussion.

So what do you do when your ex shows you his/her latest love and asks you for an opinion. What if the guy/girl doesn't impress you one bit? You can't just say that. Then it'll be an absolute case of sour grapes - grapes so sour that they can be squeezed to make lemonade. And what if you are really impressed by the person? You can't say that either, coz then you are accepting that "yessss, you were right in leaving me." So you always end up saying the either the standard "Nice. You guys look ... awkward pause ... nice together. Wish you guys all the best." or "Well, it's your opinion that matters. As long as you are happy it's fine."

Does anybody else have a better answer???

Comments:
Hmm... tuff Q.

I'd have said


Arre boyfriend to aate jaate rehte hain... Saare fit hai..
Hheheheh
Arre just mazaaking


and change ze topic.
 
It's weird that you mention that soon after you PhD defence, because the first thing that comes to mind is PhD students and new graduate students.
When they solve something and go gung-ho, all you do is flash a smile and tell them, I like it. If they are just kids, it doesn't matter. If they are any good, they will understand there's more to the smile. I think, it will be tough to be impressive around you :-)

Oh, you also flash the smile that you do when you see an old friend, say It is good to see you...
... and, of course, You are looking good, to divert some attention :D
 
Use the surrogate approach. Say "You know, he reminds me so much of ___ (Insert random name here), I used to work with in my previous job?" Now describe an ex-colleague you only bumped into at the printer as nonchalantly as you
can. That way, you won't give away any interesting points nor any demeaning facts.And your ex is sure to be bored out of her brains, and will remember not to ask you that question again.
 
"You have a consistently bad taste in men".

Gets your point across....
 
I dono really. The last time I had to meet an ex with his present, they proceeded to coochie coo and feel each other for what seemed like eternity before remembering I was around. And even then she seemed to be determined to show me this was HER man now and was all over him.she was also very loud and overbearing. So on the whole i was feeling very traumatised and suffocated and sick. I think I looked a ill and said I needed fresh air and went out and never went back in. To be honest I couldnt care less about what they thought. All I wanted to was to eb far far away from them!!!
 
ahhh, well, dr.shag-a delic, u cud just say....may he makes u look like a completely new person. no need to go into the details.
 
I do understand your predicament. Have myself faced it a couple of times. Fortunately, I got over the tricky situation with the politically correct response "Its your opinion that matters and not mine...blah...blah" even though secretly you would want to bash that guy's face.
BTW, a much stickier situation is when a girl whom you really like (and who doesn't know it) asks your opinion about some other guy. Just makes you mad...
 
The Jackass response to ensure you never get that question again: "Well, IMHO, I'm cuter but if you want someone more on your level..."

The adorable sweet ex response: "you know, i was watching you guys- you fit much better than we did. maybe i'll find a fit like that too"

The mind fuck response: looking rather meaningfully into her eyes "you deserve so much better, I wish you could see it the way I do. but you do seem happy with him"
This not only hints that she is settling, but you did it in a complimentary way and planted doubt in her head. yes it makes you look like you are pining but practise it in the mirror it can be said with concern alone.

The possible mind-fuck if the situation is appropriate: "umm, what do I think of him? Why ? why are you asking? did he say something?"
she'll be all confused and ask you what the deal with you is.
pretend to be very uncomfortable and insinuate that he came on to you. My friend did this to hilarious results - of course it was wrong and bad and all that - but funny.
 
lol - the awkward - est question i have ever answered!
 
If she is the free spirit, rebelious sort nothing would annoy her more than a " I am sure your folks would like him" said with the sweetest smile your facial muscles allow. Don't try it on the "mummy ne chai pe bulaya hai" types. For those of the latter disposition the answer is "what's the sex like?"...come on you cannot make an honest assesment without knowing all the facts can you!!!
 
Aha now that I know what he looks like I am gonna hunt him down to the the remotest corner of the earth and beat him to pulp :)
 
Hmm .. did you try the standard "It isn't you .. it is me?" answer ... Damn!!! The one place it doesn't work.
 
If she's cruel enough to ask u such a question - pay back with equal amount of cruelty and rudeness
 
Always go with 'Lets make a baby'. Nothing better. Trust me.
 
Yeah....how about:

1. Oh wonderful....at least someone has worse taste than me! (which will leave her wondering if you're referring to her or her current..)

2. You look like a fairytale couple...Beauty and the Beast. (if you really like her that much)
 
Well...well...well must have to think about a defense mechanism on that...grab hold of some cam..sneak-peek some candid shots on a fragrant palm leaf and write a thesis about it...four steps to de-ception..get along well with him/her to get a fultu treat like Mrs.Doubtfire...bond him/her with a gypsian rhapsody and bash all the way along...bad..sucking suggestions apart and futile efforts to come with a post-doctoral guerilla drive theres' some good news that i would like to share with you..let me know your mailado!
 
You have always had a consistently bad choice in guys except for this one time when you made an error in judgement abt me ;)
 
Shaggy u are always the best so why u keep on crying about a babe???
i mean each one of us have had a massive heartbreak n we know its impossible to just move on watever may the elders think about it...(ask me) i have been thru this same feeling with the same babe at least thice and jus came out shocked,numb,and definitely wondering wat a girl who went to LSR is doing with a guy who looks as if he has got the "Wind Whistling Between his ears".I mean maybe we are all somehow either too good or too bad for each other;in a sense just not right for each other in the present setup...maybe someday somewhere everythings gona be all right.....meanwhile just hope the other guy or girl melts away(we are not malicious are we ??)
 
there are a million quips that come to my mind but the most important part is that YOU SHOULD TALK COOL N CASUAL. Making her realise that, it did not make an iota of a difference in your life, is good. The bitch should go back feeling "o my god, he sounded normal. did he ever love me / take me seriously ?"

Well women are mean, they feel secure when the exies look awkward with such Qs. Women play games with innocent menfolk.

I would have probably said "Ch...a hai saala teri jaisi princess ke liye. to phir shaadi kab kar rahe ho" in an extremely jovial manner.
 
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