Thursday, December 01, 2005

On groups and more ... 

Two disjoint incidents form the inspiration for this post. The first one was witnessed when moi was walking to the food court for lunch. Three hot women were walking in front of me (some detractors might claim that I was walking behind them). As an aside, the women were dressed in the most amazing motley of colors. Yanyway. One of the girls said, "You know what I feel like doing?" The other two echoed the customary "what" and the girl said, "sing OUR song." As soon as she said that, the three women broke into a little jig. Some pathetic song was sung in unison, along with a very complex high five exchange protocol. Very entertaining.

The second incident was narrated by a friend the other night. She told me, "Oh the four of us went out and we were just like the Sex and the City Gang. We form such an amazing group. X is like Samantha, Y is like *whoever the lawyer is* and I'm like ..."

If you are wondering how I plan to tie these two separate incidents together, the answer is simple - "Women are a lot more into group formation." Once again, I'm not judging men and women here. All I'm saying is that it's one more aspect in which the two sexes differ. Women spend a lot of time and energy forming and maintaining friend groups. Their groups have names, they have their own set of movies ... they even have similar dress codes. I remember popular "female groups of Pilani" where three or four women would even hold hands together and walk. Have you ever seen four men do that? How many of you've heard of incidents when a whole bunch of women landed up in someone's house to get ready for a party together. There - you have a group already. I've seen this take place countless times with my sister and her friends. "Oh no! All of you are wearing red. I just have a black skirt. Pummy can you please lend me a red skirt?" These are all familiar lines to me. But have you EVER heard of two men getting dressed together in one of their houses? Have you ever seen two men claim, "Oh! We are like Batman and Robin. He's more acrobatic. So he is Robin and I am ..." - Nope! NEVER.

Personally, I think group formation takes a lot of time and energy. For starters you need a Unique Selling Point for your group. A girl I dated ages ago had once remarked, "We are the Cool Gang of our college. The other women either hate us or they wanna be like us." See. That's a unique property. Men find it very difficult to locate these qualifiers. Just ask a guy, "Hey, why do you and X hang out together?" and he'll probably say "Coz we are both free in the evenings". That's it - that's all the commonality we need to hang out with another guy.

As a final proof I'd like to present the striking differences between a "guy's night out" and "girl's night out". A girl's night out is normally a lot more personal - like a potluck, or watching dvds at home together, or a sleepover where only "the group" is present. Whereas all forms of activities termed as a guy's night out - be it going to a bar and guzzling beer, or watching strippers perform gymnastics on a pole, take place in locations that have plenty of other such "groups" present. Coincidence??

Awww sweetheart, dont be jealous... I'm sure guys can form their groups too :D
Oops, was I supposed to say I agree? Ok ok... I agree.
Never mind the women, I hope the guys thing was to just upheld the notions in the sorority.

But reading the girl bonding thing, I could write a post of all things only guys can do.
Ahem ahem... mr nandy
I'd beg to differ on this 1.
its not that women like to make groups. Its depends on the person's nature.

Axiom 1: I am a boy
Axiom 2: I like to be in a large groups.

the groups at our college consisting of 12 people (guys + gals) are called 9tanks. (Nau Tankis)

We even have our own yahoo group. Maybe you haven't noticed the phenomenon in guys lately but I assure you its nothing womenish.
yea do agree on the girls group formations..its actually cool:).. u guys shud try it out:)...on a totally unrelated note...my blog is shut down..i dont maintain any blog now...the one i started sometime back( just one post) no longer exists..coz of some technical problem i closed it...some damn prob where i myself found it difficult to access my own blog...some technical problem i guess!it was too difficult. so i just left the blog n closed it permanently after tat first post.didnt post anything after tat..n i didnt create any other blog after tat...as of now i DONT maintain any blog...i was pretty busy last month n besides the prob in accessing my blog i didnt hv the time to create another blog n maintain it..i am busier these days n the whole month of december ill be very busy with studies,assignments n EXAMS(ohh i hate it!!) so i cant start one now. tis will be the last comment i am writin this month...4m tmw will be totally held up n engaged in studies(how boring!!!)..will be very much busy for this whole month...so cant visit ur blog n write comments for this whole month..so catch u after these xams n stuff next month..hv a g8 time! ur blog is excellent! keep it rocking:)n thanks for askin abt my blog:)..byee!
erm...yes well i know what you mean about girls bonding in groups...but you know..boys bond too...they have 3-4 close friends whom they bond with most of the time..maybe they dont sing ridiculous songs and hold hands
(not all women hold hands either btw) but the bonding bit of it is there..totally..and ze exaggeratorr agrees with me :-)
btw i do agree tat girls fancy forming 'groups' for themselves...mostly girls get into a gang n the gang becomes a 'group' n they stick to it n simply love being into such group....i myself hv been into such 'groups'..but its fun being in groups..u guys shud try it out sometime!:)
So totally agree!!! I've written on this too on XXFactor but you make it sound funnier!
@casablanca - i think guys dont like being in groups that dont have girls :)

@sanity - oh please do write - most etertaining it will be :)

@ze-exaggerator - ha ha! you make one small mistake my friend - the group has women and that nullifies everything. men dont mind being in groups if women are a part of it :)) tell me honestly - would you ever be in a group of 9 men and give it a name - i am sure you wont :)

@xyz - all the best for your exams - crack it out of shape and come back and comment abt it :) we will all mis you :(

@ron - same thing that i told ze-exag - other than drinking, all other forms of male bonding in groups involve women :)

@ideasmith - oh come on funny women - nobody can compete with you when it comes to giving insight into the battle of the sexes :D
Good post.....but its that basic thing with women that they will get together, form a group, share their secrets.....the latest hot happenings.....aargh....get me a mug of beer!!
we had a group in skool cald TYCOONS. lol, we didnt hav a song we just thot we shud name our group of chachras that. hehe. but the color coding clothing thingy goes where ever u see girls. even now, i heard a girl plan to wear matching red and blck clothing with a girl i kno last time i went to college. but about the girls nite out, i think ur wrongthere, theres more to it than watchin taped celine dion concerts. add fags and FEUL.
Guess what..am planning to come up with a third post following the last two from yours...planned the title so far before chalking down the contents to be enacted and enumerated out there..

"Going nostalgic on groups n more.."

-actually for me its like two well-joint posts form the inspiration for this comment--

If girls form a Sex in the City kind of gang what more could you guys move ahead of the gutter SIX FEET UNDER...

Lets script it for a short film on HIDEOUT..well let you know about the details later...

Still better..girls meet at the corners to fit into the redcloak...what do you wait at the rocks to sweep in for?

Commenting on.. Just ask a guy, "Hey, why do you and X hang out together?" and he'll probably say "Coz we are both free in the evenings" let me put it the other way round...Just ask a gal, "Hey, why do you and XXX hang out together?" -and she'll perhaps say...neither do i have a group to make on and nor does he have a mind to make up on one!!

-Nevertheless it was nice reading your posts as usual and commenting on it always feels like churning up the penchant thoughts!!
I was going to make fun of the girls with "their dance" but I just recalled a night from about a month ago - tipsy from too much read wine- my roommate, my gay best friend and I decided to choreograph a dance. furniture was moved, dances moves were pondered.

yeah, I am so glad I am an anonymous blogger.

HOWEVER, who dresses alike voluntarily? If my roommate and I ever put on similar looking outfits one of us would change because we may be weird losers but we dont want OTHER people to know that.
ill have to think about that...
@dhr - but a group of women are always fun to watch and even mre fun if you are sitting and drinking just behid them in a bar :))

@sayantani - if it makes you feel ay better we had a group called IDIOTS in college - Interesting Dynamic something something. Very very lame when I think abt it but as I mentioned earlier - we did have some super hot women in the group and for them moi can always make exceptions :)

@rajasree - oh please do make the post - and lets get a producer and make that movie :)

@brown-magic - think abt this - when my sis was young - she and her friends used to organize dummy beauty paegent contests at our place. choreographing a dance is nothing compared to that :)

@ze-exa - i am sure its the women who keep the drama in nautanki alive man :)
thanks sagnik, but you sister has childhood as an excuse. My friends and I are twenty-somethings.

no use in trying to sugarcoat it- we're complete dorks.
well, group activities are sooo much fun!!:) you've totally reminded me of my wing now!!:(..;)
well, amybe guys could try an all-guy group too..just that, you just wont know what to do!!:))
Well Sagnik shall surely let you know once am ready with it and as far as the scripting counts better to discuss about the deal when you be here..planning to add a touch of online load balancing with a "special"-hop wavelength allocation to check out whether our techinical-cum-nontechy PAN works out or not.. :)

i think not.

brilliantly written sagnik and even though I hate to admit it a lot of what you said was true as far as I was concerned. Having groups that people had a name for, wearing similar clothes....really enjoyed reading this.
Even men form groups. Its just that the activities indulged in are different.
Assuming that you are from calcutta, one would think you would be reminded of the clubs, many of which are not even open for women. What is that if not groupism?

I have never seen men eating alone, watching movies alone or even going to dtrip clubs alone.
Strip clubs... errrr...
@brown magic - as long as the dork(s) blogs abt it, it's all good :)

@ramya - yess! from the lil time we were in Pilani together I remember you and that other girl who danced (I'm bad with names) and one more girl being quite the group :D

@rajasree - what? did you just speak "techese" on my blog - the one place where i compleely leave technology aside - almost :)

@teleute - so what do you think tely - tell(y) us

@m - but the cool thing is that when women do these things it looks cute but imagine three men dressed similarly and singing a common song - would you like to see that :)

@plumpernickel - agreed but the thing is that in all these places you will see many cuch other male groups existing - men have no notion of exclusivity with their groups - its more like let's just go tehre together - to quote a great woman who recently mentioned a party where "only girls above 25 and working were allowed" :D see - that's exclusive :)
Well...that was a surrealu subtle try from my front to let you know that its really interesting to know a person like you, yah! i found your work online and was going through it..bad luck that i couldn't manage to see the paper in its totality but just thought to use some of the words from your paper collateraly and see what your reaction would be...sorry bout 'technisising'...my thoughts in your logspace devoid of such 'ism's!!
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