Thursday, December 15, 2005

Sleep Over 

It was two days back that I decided to write this post. Then I discussed it with two members of the opposite sex. One of them assured me that no woman will ever marry me after reading this and the second one refuted my case. So the initial intended tone of the post will be changed. What was initially supposed to be a more confident tone will be replaced by a doubtful and conjecture-posing style. What say?

So, I feel that *and looks around and hushes the voice* most men IF GIVEN A CHANCE would like to sleep in their own separate beds *Wooof, I said it*. Now lemme make a few clarifications here. Moi is not saying that men don't like women in their beds. Moi is not saying that men want to sleep alone in a room. I'm just saying that IF we had two situations - (A) where a guy and a girl sleep in the same bed and (B) a guy and a girl have two separate beds in the same room with a little (say 2 feet) distance between them - then most men will go for option (B); that given an option most men would like to stay awake in the same bed with a woman but sleep in a separate one by themselves. Now the explanation.

Have you seen those movies where they show a romantic couple in bed together. What's the scene that comes to your mind? Yep! The girl is hugging the guy, who is on his back facing the ceiling. The girl is all happy and snuggly. She has a smile on her face and the camera captures that wonderful moment of love and tenderness. Do you have any idea why the camera never shoots the guy's face? What do you think the guy is thinking at that point? So many question plague the male mind then - (i) Will it be very rude if I ask her to move her hair off my face? (ii) Can I tell her that it is only so long that a man enjoys playing the role of a side-pillow (iii) Can I tell her that her head is not that light (iv) Can I tell her that it is unfair to pull a man's chest hair and there is nothing romantic about that either??? Also have you see something very weird that happens in all these movies? They show the couple going to bed all naked after a night of passion but when the girl wakes up in the morning she makes an on-the-fly night gown with the blanket, leaving the poor man all cold.

And hence ladies and gentleman I propose that there be two beds in every room. Two beds next to each other but separated by a lil distance. So that the man can have his blanket. So that the man can have his comfort. So that lovebirds can do their thing and sleep away in true happiness. So that we don't wake each other up when we toss and turn. So that ... the list goes on ...

And hence ladies and gentleman I propose that there be two beds in every room.

abe hero!
it would've been better if you'd have proposed a girl instead of proposing such ungeneral propositions...
maybe you'd have a girl in bed then... ;)
*sighs sadly*

I think you have a point there. Im also inclined to think it would be a lot safer for men to sleep separately, they seem to throw their arms and legs around a lot. This unfortunate snuggling tendency of my sex has led to a considerable amount of pain for me in the recent past. I was elbowed hard...on my nose, and its still hurting :(
Its safer and more sensible I think. For snuggling purposes, one can always buy a nice soft pillow.
What nonsense! maybe then u have never reached the comfort level with a lady wherein u could actually tell her whats bothering you about her position ... as for the blanket get a spare one around instead of seperate beds :)

I tell you ur frds were right in dismissing your case :)
sagnik, tomar kokhono biye hobe na :D
@ze-exagg - it is very funny coz you gave me an idea for a post. what makes you assume that i dont have a girl friend to start with - hopefully i will post abt this next week :)

@ron - yes pillows rule - for both sexes :)

@kusum - well i thought that i had reached that level of comfort - i told her and then she downgraded me to a lower level :D

@teleute - i had a good mind of cracking a joke that other reading this comment wont get - so here it goes - "just coz i am not an integral part of jawani, you say so woman - cheeh" :D
i never assumed u dont have any gfs..
you cud'v had even 10....
but you can still propose others ;)
Get married, son.

And oh, do NOT fall asleep first. You'll never hear the end of it!


Can I tell her that her head is not that light?

Dude, you make an amazing point. I've always wondered about that. It must hamper one's breathing, right? With her head on your chest, it must be like trying to breath on Mt Everest.

Can I tell her that it is unfair to pull a man's chest hair...

LOL! Reminds me of '40-yr-old virgin'! What a scene!
And I propose men have their own room all together. Kind of like three well defines spaces- your mess space, my clean space and our snuggle-cuddle-till-we-are-done space.
so who's bed do they warm up first? and who has to make the move from one bed to the other after they are all done? I think they made bigger beds for a purpose :)
@ze-exag - 10 gfs - dude, i am but an rdinary man with a blog :D

@jap - dad, i will soon be writing a post abt men and marriage and that will clear quite a few doubts :))

@advaniji - no wonder they say marriage is an up-hill tasks :)

@anyesha - now if only we had that much money. staying in CA means that we can have one room and two tents - what say to that idea?

@m - ahaa! now we get the married female view - very valid points - dint even think abt it - hmmmm :)
Sleeping in separate beds kills the change of any morning nookie, my young friend...
Hmmm now that I think about it the camera pans initially on to the girl's content face lost in sleep resting her head on the guy's shoulder and as the camera zooms out you get to see the guy wide awake gazing uncomfortably at the ceiling with a faraway look in his eyes ;)
For any & all problems with women, I suggest my patented pre-emptive approach - before she gets to use you as a side-pillow, you should get into position with her as side pillow!
@anon - :) kinda true but you can always wake up early and shift there or vice versa :)

@rohan - and the man is surely thinking "hmmmm, is there a way out of this, hmmm ..." :D

@vc - that's a good strategy but women have a gentle way of sliding out of your hands and taking you in their clutch/grasp/grip too :)
you need to get married sagnik :)
this is not a bad idea. sharing a bed leads to several issues with blankets, the other person taking the "good" pillows, or general crowding.

plus women might have their own complaints like being clutched like a prized possession that someone is trying to steal. ouch - ease up there buddy.

snuggling should have an internationally agreed upon time limit, at the end of which people get their personal space back.

I hate to be the one to break this to you - but you are not the first one to propose this. 2 gentlemen, Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, had a whole show devoted to the 'Jimmy-legs/hands' syndrome that affects women (at least on their show). In fact, the decent blokes that they are, they were generous enough to point out that sentiments are actually shared by women too....:)
now what phobia shall we call this?
Hmm a very thoughtful post. I think your having the desire for that separate bed is cool. But the offer should come from the woman. Maybe you can try some of these:
a) Hug her real tight cutting off air supply. Am sure her need for air will supercede her need for your hug. You will get a separate bed

b)Throw a few kicks and punches in your sleep. Or move over regularly to the other side pushing her off the edge. This also works well for the purpose of separate bed.

b)Snore like a royal bengal tiger. After a few nights she will prefer silence. You will be given a separate sound proof room.

Could share some more tips but there is a knock at the door. Must be my gender cousins out to get me :-))

Tch tch...haven't you heard of spooning?

As for the make-shift nigtgown next morning, if the guy has the right to get rid of the girl's clothes, then he jolly well put up with her making off with the blanket the next morning....so there!
I second this suggestion. And I think the woman needs her own bed too. Make it.. her own room too. And her own bathroom too!
spooning's all very nice and comforting, dear ideasmith, but i tentatively agree with the nandy on this one, because:

1. have you ever woken up to a blast of morning breath? (this is why i cannot imagine the movie-type morning love)

2.snores, love, SNORES!
A great relevation!
@anon - darn! what' this with Seinfeld stealing my ideas ten years before I had them - ooof :D

@sayantani - why dont you suggest something good woman :D

@aparna - brilliant ideas - brilliant - but you have just betrayed your sex with the comment :D

@ideasmith - why do i hear a "tumharey dadagiri nahin chalegi" slogan in the background :D *ducks*

@rimi - thank you lady :) but i have to remind you that women snore TOO :)

@sneha - thank you :)
Of course!! Men would like to sleep on the other available bed. Remember the friend's episode where Ross teaches the hug-and-roll technique so he can have his side of the bed for himself??
given a choice even gals wud prefer separate beds i'm sure
esp. with the point Ron mentioned...

we cud do without huge limbs falling on us n also some sorts of amplified forms of snoring
u forgot the most important so that!!!

so that there is no chest hair on the(my) bed in the morning!
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