Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Love, marriage and why I am not ready for it ... 

It might come as a surprise to many of you, but it seems there are people (and to top it, of the opposite sex) who are willing to marry me. I spent a good part of an evening this week trying to convince a lovely girl why I'll be a terrible choice for a husband. Initially she didn't seem too convinced, but persuasion is indeed my middle name (even though many people think it's Kumar).

If there is anything that Bengali relatives like, it is to evaluate people behind their backs. "Did you see the way that girl was looking. I didn't like her glance." "She was wearing pants. Very shameful." "He didn't touch my feet. What kind of manners does he have" - these are all lines I've heard in family gatherings. And to all these judgment mongers, I'll be a terrible choice for jamai (son in law). For starters, I've inherited a very straight face humor from my dad, and that doesn't go down very well with the middle aged Bengali folks. *As an aside story, my dad once severely upset a newly wed family member hailing from Sundarban, when he very seriously asked her how many tigers they owned. The entire side of my Mom's family teamed up against him for that one harmless joke.* So I know it for sure that if they make me bend and touch the feet of ten elderly gentleman, it's just a matter of time before I feel like pulling one of their dhotis - not an actual pull but just a gentle shocker to scare them. How do you think that'll work? Also, in all Bengali social gatherings there are these sisterly figures who are so overly dressed that you can easily mistake them for ready-made-brides. It's a strange thing. It's like they dress up to flirt with you but the test is to treat them with utmost respect. This dichotomy always evades my logical boundaries. So it's just a matter of time before I crack one of my non-veg jokes to them and I can just imagine what'll happen. Julie, who is Shanta aunty's daughter's second cousin from her father's side will run to her mom and complain against me. Shanta aunty, who is already angry with me for telling her on her face that the word is "desk" and not "deks" will take this opportunity to complain to Ranjit Kaku (uncle). Now Ranjit kaku had his dhoti at risk when I touched his feet, so he will join the team too ... you see where this story is going. Interestingly, I'll provide the icing on this cake. Bengalis love to spend an extra hour at the door of the house - seriously, I've seen gatherings where the main gathering ended after an hour but people spent a fortnight saying goodbyes. Both me and my father escort people to the gates and assume that the story ends there. So we both promptly come back to the television AND THIS will add fuel to the glowing anger of the Shanta aunties and Ranjit uncles. Woof!

So what do we have? Upset old and young relatives. That just leaves the little kids. But, they'll hate me too. I'll not give them chocolates (they spoil the teeth and more importantly give ammunition to the young ones to leave finger stains on the walls). For the same reason, crayons will be a Big NO NO. And I am very protective abt my childhood toys and no way am I letting them play with those valuables. I can also imagine that some of them will ask me to change the channel to Cartoon Network. But that's not happening when I am watching VJ Cyrus - is it? So the kids will hate me too.

After all this reasoning, the girl in question kinda agreed. She said she'll contact Shanta Aunty and her husband before getting in touch with me again. Hmmmmmm!

Not good enough reason Sagnik for shirking the marital thingy. What if the girl and her family had a sense of humor? What if she truly was in love with you?? And what if you were in love with her???
hmm... interesting...

though the fact still remains about what may happen if u do fall in love... hook, line and sinker, like I have, right now... what happens then??? would u break her and ur heart???

isnt worth breaking their heart, I say... give them this Sagnik's number!!! ;))

he he

Love, laughter n keep the Faith

If that is the way you went about persuading her, I have this happy feeling that we shall soon see your wedding card up here!

Btw, with a lovely girl by your side, why did you not spend the time more constructively?? Or did you?? One wonders about the veracity of your claims...hmm...
Maaney bujhlum na?...lovely girl was asking you to marry her and you were explaining her why that wasn't a good idea.

Ei jonnei engineering/science er cheley-puley der atto bodnaam!

Btw, loved that part on the Bong society's. And yes yes, I've noticed how pple get stuck at the doors while leaving.
Your post was entertaining (as always) to read but me agrees with M :)
This was real Funny.. Still laughing...
Ur going the arranged marriage way? My god, Mr.Nandy, you're breaking my heart (besides shattering my illusions, that is)!
Oh, one sure shot way of driving a girl away would be to give her your blog URL. Isnt it? ;)
Common,,As far as i know, the only time a guy tells all these reasons to drive a girl away is if he has no interest in the girl what so ever..

Its like I don’t like you because ur wearing blue shoes… or rather in your case, i dont like you because i am wearing blue shoes.. anyway nice to hear that you had a proposal !!
When it comes to marriage of the beloved girl to a Amreeka-settled-boy, nothing, NOTHING
will deter Shanta aunty and her husband! So I'll come back to say "Congrats" in response
to your next post :D
ah, crap it all. just say that ur gay. or say you lost ur reproductaory organs when you were going through a philanthropic phase.
tag! you're it!
this job is way too demanding....you never find time to blog anymore :(
nana... don't say you're gay... bangali'ra gay'der'o biye koriye dey (with girls of course!). aameyreeka-wala bangali gay hole to katha'i nei... happy and gay boley chaliye debe.
Although you last post good. But you have no right to make fun of Bangla people. We are the most highest cultured societ. You should respect that.


Not quite.

Sagnik, nice one. I was way too young, last time I attended a family gathering. Not too many loved ones have died in the past decade, and those who got married didn't particularly like my company. So the "doll brides" you mentioned are people I will be looking out for. Do they compare to the manequins (or was that someone else's post?)

Cheers. Happy looking/hunting/refusing/convincing/amusing- prospective brides.
Eki! Where are you? Where have u vanished?Why have you vanished? Did the "lovely girl" and Shanta Aunty get you? Did you get married without telling us? :P
kothay tumi???????????

(Where art thou, o lovely genteelman)

Love, laughter and keep the Faith

I think I like ur Dad :-)
hey why arent u updating ur blog??
Hey sagnik,
Hilarious post!

But hey,take your time dude.U dont need to take the plung coz u"have to"!

p.s:- Wld liketo know..did u actually EVER manage to pull the dhotis..hehahah!
The latest news, as published on BBC (Bachelors' Bio-Chemistry) a few seconds ago, is that the aunty and her company are shortly retiring into vanavas to make the field clear for you. Congrats, dude.
Now whatz taking so long for you to post .... did u get hooked, booked & cooked?? or did you change your mind and now finding it all the more difficult to convince "Why you are so ready"
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