Thursday, March 16, 2006

Are you in Lau? 

I was advising a toddler the other day on a definitive set of things she and her man love should do to conform to all the cheesy love norms. Come on. It doesn't matter how mature you are or how often you pass snide remarks abt those gooey couples on the road - at some point you have to be a part of the system yourself. You HAVE TO do all the acts of love that'll embarrass you on a reminiscing spree five years later and make you squirm in saccharine disgust. So I looked back into my own past and that of several other lovey couples that I've known closely and assembled this list of MUST-DOs that every cheesy couple should do at least once:

1. Have nick names for each other: That's a must. You might be gifted with names as gallant and smooth as Vikram and Sneha, but to each other you have to be Toto and Tuti. The names have to be so imbecilely in content that you'll feel coy to even mention it to any adult beyond the age of five. A simple rule of thumb always helps - the closer your name comes to resembling a pet dog, the closer to that red spot in the target sheet you are. Remember!

2. Hanging up the phone should be a pain: Never just say "Bye, love you ..." and put down the telephone. Prolong the conversation for ages. Add in "I'll miss you ... Come to my dreams ... Naaah! I don't want to hang up ... You first ... Ok! Now you say it again ..." Continue this routine till the telephone company informs your dad of potential bankruptcy and then you know that you've done it right.

3. Hand made gifts: Ok! There are people who specialize in making good gifts that can be put to good use. Most of these gifts are affordable and useful. So what? Forget the expertise of all these gift makers and plunge into the bandwagon yourself. Every cheesy couple has to gift each other hand made gifts at some point. Forget the Hallmark cards that are well made, funny, affordable and worth treasuring - make one yourself. Smear your brown lipstick on a piece of paper and draw perverted cartoons and chip in a badly written love ballad where you searched three hours for a word that rhymed with "darling" and finally ended with "Your love's more precious than two hundred and fifty sterling". Yeah! That's what I'm talkin abt!

I can think of many more examples but right now mom is pampering me with a back massage and I shall therefore stop and probably make this a two part post.

The names have to be so imbecilely in content that you'll feel coy to even mention it to any adult beyond the age of five.

And just for that mode of address, it's imbecilic to you.
oh man these stupid mushy gushy couples make me gag!

I love it!
Hehe ..funny. A few things to add :)

1. Exhanging flowers with each other's perfume/cologne for nights when u'r away from each other.

2. Discussing babies and who are they gonna look like, your eyes, my lips etc etc..

3. The long goodbye hugs, and then walking away, and then turning back for that one last look!!!

Gosh, I guess all this can go in a cheese fondue! Or stiil better a chocolate one..

my my what wisdom! all this is coming from experience no doubt ;o)
lol @ darling, sterling...how long did it take you to come up with that? :p
ha ha ha that is why the man sang 'shaadher lau banailo mor-e boiraagee'!!
@toddler - oh that was auto spell check of blogger that didn't recognize imbecilic. i cross checked now and realized that both you and i spell it as imbecilic whereas the true spelling is imbeciLLic - a lesson for both of us

@sara - ey great to see you again :) gag they might, but they still do entertain us :)

@devyanai - i have to sheepishly agree that i have been gulity of number 2 :D also, you have pretty much killed the chances of a sequel post :)

@shubh - no no, most of it coming from observing others *or so i will say*

@aparna - i'd say that the right word is *ragee* and not boi-ragi :))
I checked the Oxford dictionary. Imbecilic with a single l it is. So there.
@toddler - ah! persistent you :) now all you have to do is convince blogger spell checker abt it :)
Sir, I thought AquaJava on Elgin was shut down? And Teleute mentions on her blog that the plan is shelved. Can you please update? Do drop me a mail sometime today if you can.
Nice!!! Waiting for the second post
"Lau" made me giggle like mad. Was in office, too
What a way to say the word :-)
very giggle inducing.
my favorite was always a mixed tape of songs that remind you of that person. if you own a mic than with your own voice taped in the middle proclaiming undying lau.
Interesting post. Waiting for Part 2.
:) Can I blog roll you?
@aparna - well, that issue was resolved :)

@anwin - hey, nice to see you again. par deux to be coming soon :)

@pp - shueet feelings like lau makes you giggle ??? you heartless person :D

@brown magic - oops have been almost guilty of that - as in been at the receiving end - but to be honest for a poor student a mixed tape of his liked songs is a great gift :)

@toe - coming soon to theatres near you in a small screen :D

@bindhu - oh please feel free to blog roll me :)
hhmm some more things to add:

1.Everytime you have hickups, run to the phone and ask him "My lau, were u missing me?" follow it up with the sappy can't hang the phone routine.

2.Decide to wear matching colour of clothes for the next date and take a picture.

3.Write 'I love you' a hundered times and mail him the sheet insisting he write it a thousand times for you :)
So I looked back into my own past
And I'm wondering, how many of these girls from your past are aware of the fact that you count them in your exes? Hope they werent the group-dates-no-phone-number types ;)
@kusum - you have successfully nullified the possibility of any part deux given that now everything i wanted to write has been touched by you ppl :)

@casa - oh no! ALL of them were dinner and a ... no no - just dinner date girls that i call exes :))
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