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Friday, March 10, 2006

The Number Paradox 

Sorry for the sudden uninformed disappearing act and thanks for all the concern. A sudden emergency brought me back to India for an unplanned trip. Anyway, thanks to GOD, the complications seem to have been mostly resolved. So now I can hopefully get back to blogging. And in case any of you still care to read this part of the web ... welcome back!!

~-~


Over the past few days I've been privy to some very amusing relationship tit bits and it has reaffirmed a long held opinion of mine - before marriage men have lots of relationships and women mostly have none ... or so they say.

Seriously, ask ANY unmarried man if he's had any relationships in the past. To us it's a vanity number. Ages back it was the moustache that defined the man, but now it's the number of women they can call their "girl friend". I've seen friends of mine mention "relationships" that lasted two group dinners and a refused telephone number exchange :) It's not too far fetched to imagine this conversation for a man:

Man: Will you be my lover?
Woman: Nah!
Man: Will you at least sleep with me?
Woman: Nah!
Man: Can we be just friends?
Woman: Nah!
Man: *I think she secretly likes me and is playing hard to get. Good. One more to my list. Now I have dated ten women.*

Hence men (and I've been accused of this too) flash back to stories abt their exes. Number One did this, Number Two didn't do this, Number Three might have done this ... :) That's us. Virility is no longer abt sperm count ... it's the ex count that puts the ex in sex for us :)

HOWEVER, women are very different. Chastity is the order of the day for the ladies. Ask a girl, "Were you and X dating?" "Dating? We barely knew each other *for ten years*" In my limited experience, women adopt a much milder tone when it comes to classifying past paramours. "Friends" takes the cake most of the times, often appended with a "good" to give a slightly elevated value; sometimes they say "we almost dated" and occasionally they'll gush out a "yeah! We dated briefly BUT IT WAS NOTHING SERIOUS".

To sum it up, I propose the number paradox - if every single man has dated ten single women and every single woman has never dated a single man then something is wrong ... hmmm!

P.S. I'm gonna be in Kol for two more weeks and if any of you readers are here drop in a comment and we can meet up.

Comments:
I'm being stalked these days on Orkut and Facebook by an Indian guy at my school who keeps bombarding me with friendship requests and wouldn't take no for an answer.

After I wrote to him, politely explaining that I only have "actual friends" in my friends list, he wrote back, giving me his name, major, hobbies, and then said "so now that we are friends, add me to your list"!! So ya, I can imagine that this is the sort of person who'd consider a group dinner a date.
 
Hey welcome back! was wondering about the disappearance...thought you vanished on your honeymoon what will all the marriage denial posts in the recent past!

While you are in Cal, let's have a get-together with all your readers out here. Then we can all gang up and probe/prod on these very profound relationship related stuff that you keep regaling us with :-)
 
Its been a long time, I hope all is well wiht you and family.
 
very true. Women do tone it down a lot when it comes to talking about the ex factor(s).

Nice to read a new post after so long. And great that the complications are resolved.
 
From my personal experience, its just that women dont like to talk abt their past relationships and men love to brag. So even if a girl has slept with 4 guys, she wont admit it to her current bf/husband, she will maybe say 1. And if a guy has slept with 1 girl, he will say 4 when asked by his gf/wife.

Just works that way.

Nice Blog!
 
kirokom pore mone hoche biyer jonyo meye dekhte escho :P
 
@thalassa - this sounds like a person who is secretly maybe married to you and has even named your kids :))

@aparna - i doubt if i have too many readers here or elsewhere - but it will be fun (for me and not you) meeting up :)

@ratna - thanks for the concern madam :)

@archster - sometimes they dont tone it down but hust the tone completely :)

@sharad - your personal experience in bang on target buddy :)

@anon - moteyi na :D
 
lolz! good one there...have met lotsa guys who r proud abt the number of gfs they had b4 marriage...it makes them a 'super cool hero':):)...i mean everything is directly propotional...'the more no of gfs u had,the more cool u r':):)...n hey welcome back after a long time! n hope everything is goin on fine in india for ya n ur family...so u in kolkatta...well its still far away for me to catch up with ya... (un)fortunate for u i shud say:D:D...
 
Good to know things are fine with you. And I am still to meet someone who counts group dinners as dates... infact I know guys who went for a movie with a girl and refuses to call it a date :)
 
Dada je...

Mez in Kol, but would leave soon for Hyd on 15th... could u meet up after that??? Check my blog for contact details...

Love, laughter n keep the Faith

S
 
Hope things are good. Take care,
 
@xyz - nice to have you back too :) yes, for many it's a direct proof of how hunky and chunky they apparently are :)

@casablnca - lucky you to not have met thise folks BUT for all you know some of them might actually count you as an ex :))

@evolution - to dekha kora jak taholey :)

@sanity - thanks a lot for the concern man
 
glad to have you back and hope things are fine!
Take care
 
Funny man - say when. And where. Trade numbers through the Duck?

J.A.P.
 
Haha... This is sooo true.
Being a girl, I am so sick and tired of these double standards girls have.. :)
And tired of my friends claiming every girl to be his ex.. :)

Wonder what they get by lying...
 
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