Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Anger Management 

Ok! So I think I've cleared my name from being someone who just writes abt men and women. I've touched upon food (and made it dirty), discussed desis and discussed desis discussing me discussing desis (say that aloud will ya) and have even spoken abt sports. So now, having redeemed myself, lemme talk abt the man-woman relationship thing again. Get your books out and turn it to page 137. Today we'll study the rare phenomenon of male anger and also how it backfires instantly.

If you are in a relationship and if you are a man then you pretty much completely sacrifice your anger. It's almost like they have an "anger detector" that they inspect you with before you enter the hallowed doors of a relationship. "Excuse me Sir. Do I sense a little hidden rage in your heart? I'm sorry but you'll have to leave it here before you can enter. You can take it back (and most definitely use it) on your way out, when we let go off you."

However, once in a while, onceeeee in a rare while, we men too get to be angry. Amidst all the "You don't care for me", "You don't love me anymore", "You have changed", "You were looking at that girl", "You were looking at that guy" etc. we men too occasionally get the chance show our anger. The moment is so special to us that we almost lose our anger in joy. Yes, it's that overwhelming. Men reading this post will know what I'm talking abt. One fine day suddenly you realize that you too can actually afford to get angry and not get shouted at for it. It can be one of those rare days when she has made you wait for three hours. You sense a veryyyyyy tiny bit of remorse in her face and you know that you might just actually pull off an "anger display" here. But then again, anger is an emotion that we men have seldom used in relationships. So we don't even know how to express it. In the past I've tried using the silent treatment but given the fact that I talk a lot, women don't seem to mind it much and lemme just be that way. You can choose between the "crazy hysterical shouting", "clenching the fist and biting your lips" or "vigorously wiping your face with a handkerchief" moves. Each one of them might work based on how well you do it at that point. A little extra emotion can help you too. "I was supposed to pick my Mom up today." Yeah! Trump it with the Mom card. That always helps.

But alas!! Since we men rarely get the chance to be angry, we soon lose control over the situation. We either underplay it or we completely overdo it. We're not skilled like women in the art of anger display. How many stories have you heard of your dad buying your mom some gifts because he messed up? Recall any stories where dad actually got anything??? Nope, that doesn't happen. Coz women know the art of getting angry. ART - yes. They know how to raise their eyebrows just right. They know how to bring a drop of tear in their eyes - enough to melt your heart but not enough to spoil the eyeliner's magic." Face it people. Even if we men get the chance to be angry we don't know how to continue with it. It's just a matter of time before we give the women a chance to be even more angrier than we were and they take charge of the game from there. For me the blow always was shouting. Before I knew it, the woman would shout back at me with twice the gusto saying "No one has ever EVER EVER shouted at me and you did it. I hate you. I feel so humiliated." I would try to remind her at that point that she was shouting at twice the decibel level but NO - by then the balance had tilted. That is what I love about women. They always have the skills to turn the tables in their favor. If you are shouting, they'll tell you that they've never been shouted at. If you are cocky they'll tell you that no man has ever treated them that badly. If you make facial expressions they can ignore you long enough to make you shout - so that they can revert back to using the "No one has ever shouted at me" technique. And before we know, we men are brought back to doing what we do best - asking for forgiveness. Yeah! That's our forte. Gifts! Cards and more gifts, sprinkled with a promises of never repeating the fault. Yes. We men have taken the act of asking for forgiveness to the level of art. ART - yes! But that's another story.

bang on the target man!!!
dude...read the deer post on my rss reader...but cant find it here...too much fire or just removed out of courtesy? I dont know...but I was thinking on the same lines...human life should be valued more than any other life
what rubbish!! guys can be passive aggressive too.
Soon you will reach that higher plane of enlightenment, and like Mr. Jimmy Buffett, will be humming:

Some people say that there's a woman to blame
But I know it's my own damn fault

And you will never think twice before saying sorry....:-p
Ware wa guru kya bhola:) Any hw this week ;)
I think this applies to men only when they in the pataofying phase or the newly married variety or hen-pecked category !!
@movie-buff - thank you sir :)

@anwin - well, some people made some valid points for it and hence it was removed.

@vishnupriya - you almost talk as if you are a guy :D

@qs - oh i learnt that a long time back. my dad says that for the man it is not abt whether he will sorry, coz he knows he will, the pride is when he will say it :)

@ratna - wow! Mumbaiya Shumbaiya an all :)

@Jo - very true. after that we are a ball of rage :)
But that's another story.

Bring it on, then, you sexist-type funny person.

Rimi, the assorted bunch of Sagnik's female relatives (just so you remember, we've already done didi, mashi and kakima).
Yaar I dont agree with everything.. Guys also get a chance to show their anger...few times.. hmm..several times!!:)
May be true.... before marriage..
Aei, where are your little sticky figures..you and your computer have made more than enough time to recuperate from that last big trauma (read computer malfunction) that came your way!!!
And they say its a man's world.. to that i say BOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Very nice one dude. In fact this has always been happening I suppose. How do they pass it down the ages man ? This never changes.
@rimi - sexist? me? i am more of a feminist than you are didu :D

@pallavi - when? who? how?

@bindhu - now that i cant comment on ... :(

@anyesha - ok! i will definitely bring them back - for sure :)

@jhantu - when did they say that - that was like ages back :))

@deva - thanks :)
what rubbish!
by the way i am MISS Anonymous..and i dont agree
I see the bleed now that you have hit the "nail on the head".:). On the other hand, if they don't do that they ain't called women. You see they are under pressure both ways, so why not pick the best option.:)
I feel "Anger Management " classes should be for people on the recieving end. What say!
*ducks for cover*
ms.anon - i speak from a ltd experience of only ten thousand odd men - obviously i cant be completely accurate :)

@gvenum - an honest man has to endure a lot my friend :(
Sounds very henpecked to me. It doesn't *have* to go this way, you know, if men realise that "Its okay to be a man!"
Hey - I thought I was the only one that had to go through this, glad to know there are others around :D
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