Saturday, April 01, 2006

It ain't funny no more ... 

Wow! Quite a few comments for the last post and quite a few of them from irked out readers who are disgusted by the fact that I dared to make a post abt the traveling habits of fellow Indians.

"He is a rascal. Very big rascal. I will never visit his blog again," a gentleman was heard saying.

"He had the audacity to make fun of Indians. We Indians. Hasn't he seen Sohail Khan's I-Proud to be an Indian?" the slightly overweight aunty screamed into the microphone.

Two guys in lungis were seen jumping and howling "Saale ka no-url ko actual no url status de dengey baap!" Their better halfs were seen standing next to them, equally interested in jumping, but in an age of fashion fiascos, that is a Big NO NO.

A few kind ones seemed unfettered. "I found it quite funny," Megha was heard saying. "Same here," said Tele, but asked us not to quote her in public. Gamemaster was busy with the women, but he did say that he'll get back to us with something positive.

Hmmmmm! I sighed on a slightly gloomy weekend evening. What do I say to all these people. What can I say to prevent the glares of fellow Indian travelers (in suits) from now? How do I express to the World how sorry I am for what I have done? Hmmmmm! I sighed on a slightly gloomy weekend evening again. "Let me blog abt my reaction to some of the comments," I finally said.

* "c'mon tis not that bad....these are too cliched!" ... Well, great then! At least now, no one can claim that I'm the first one to have observed these things. My hackneyed state but does reflect how many others have seen what I claim to have seen. So, they should be blamed for passing on the baton.

* "Insufferable Jerk!! This is called confirmation bias." ... Nope. I call it ConfOrmation bias :)

* "let me get one up on you mentally..I am superior because I am wearing such and such... I am superior because I don't ask for an extra drink,...I am superior because I contain my excitement..I am superior because I listen to such and such music...I am superior because..." ... you got all of them wrong. I am superior for just one plain simple reason - mere paas maa ka diya hua ashirvad aur papaji diya hua radio hai! So deal with it.

* "... now are we going to make fun of people's english?? feeling very proud of being able to speak a borrowed language?" I would have responded to your accusation ... if only you had made it in Hindi my friend.

* "Thought it was pretty cheap and cliched myself. The fact that it is humorless too makes it not worth responding to on the blog." (This one was made on Desipundit) ... As you can see that all the points that you have raised have been raised by others already. So I find your comment pretty cliched. The fact that it is humorless too, makes it not worth responding :)

So, to all those who found the previous post unfunny, trite or a personal reflection - please do not stop reading my blog. In the weeks to come I'll give you equally unfunny and offensive material again. And then ... AGAIN. You'll be given ample chances to express your angst again. Your acerbic comments will be given a chance to decorate my blog again. So please, oh disgruntled commenter, don't give up on me ... again!

Hmm... Wear a jacket on your next trip. The air hostess will be nice to you.

Do posts on other fellow passengers as well -
a. How Americans carry Subway sandwiches because they can't cook.
b. How Italians won't eat fish because it is not preserved in olive oil.
c. How the English think they know tea, frown when they don't get it and will say no if they do have it. Oh add that desis sitting next to them can give them the "I am from Darjeeling look."
d. How the French expect Perrier when they ask for water.

This just in

e. The Swedes are protesting the ban of rotten fish, surstromming. HOT!.

Am outta here before the world come here...

- Fellow Indian Traveler.
Why acknowledge people who don't get the humor with a dedicated blog post? Keep blogging...the silent majority appreciates your writing better.
Sagnik, tumi toh confidentiality kuchi kuchi kore kete phele dile. :D

By the way, please tell whoever said feeling very proud of being able to speak a borrowed language? to shove it. English is not a borrowed language - it is one of the two national languages of India. And I can argue further over that point.
@sanity - :) loved (c)

@patrix - thanks sir :) at least they gave me something to blog abt

@tele - aha! she comes ot my defense with a solid bouncer - wah wah!
Your ratings seem to have gone up the roof, and at the same time, you've become the Most Wanted Blogger! ;)

Tsk tsk tsk! the criminal charges are incredible! Hehehe, loved this one even more!

Contrary to the post title, it only gets funnier! =)

Hey I love reading your blog.. ignore the idiots.. and keep up the funny and good work :)
Err...do not want to nitpick but if my Civics lessons serves me right, English is probably not one of the twenty-two odd national languages recognized in India. It is, however, along with Hindi, two of the official languages used by the Central Govt. for communication pusposes. Of course one could keep arguing if English is 'borrowed' or 'native' ( I think all the national languages, including Urdu, originated in the country). So there !!

@ Sagnik - your post was funny...but mildly so compared with the stuff you used to regualarly come up with. Apart from point #4, I have noticed some sort of similar idosyncrasies among other nationalities as well. However, I guess the point of the post was to laugh at ourselves (Indians) - something we don't seem to be able to do very well. Can't believe the hullaboo it generated! Next there will be a question tabled in the parliament to address this insult to the national dignity ;-)

Looking forward to more hilarious stuff !
Waitaminute, waitaminute: are you saying people were actually annoyed by that post. Maane, lokjoner ki aar kheyedeye kaaj nei? Okay, well, rhetorical q. Thanks to your blogging frequency in the recent past, ami toh practically check kora bondhoi kore diyechhilam, BUT things seem to heating up! Ta-da!
@iksha - thank you thank you :) and now by saying these words you have joined "the list" too :)

@mary - thank you too :) ahaa, now i feel relieved and ready to take on the lungi brigade :D

@anon - very well put comment. see, its fine when people justify their stance instead of blindly making a sttaement. but then again i support free speech and ppl should say whatever they want to

@rimi-di - welcome back welcome back. now with famous blogger rimi's support, i can take this fight further :D
Ha! I had commented on that post but later removed it realising a msitake i had made and later never came around to comment again :0

That comment was :

Main nirdosh hun me lord, as hve never travelled abraod :)

But now will keep this list of urs in mind and do all that is listed here, lest i be mistaken as the queen of england or the resident of sudan :)

Well u forget abt what those disgruntled people say, and keep blogging.
Havent been to any foreign land!! Hence can't actually comprehend why people are doing so and so!!

One issue I can relate to IT people though!!!

1) People who were happy with tap water.. suddenly prefer aquafina bottles and carry it everywhere they go..

2) Say "cool" and "dude" atleast 24 times in a day..

3) Always start their conversation with "In America....".

Ha, you very big rascal (which is how I shall address you henceforth), ha.

That was thoroughly enjoyable.

conformation bias- touche

mere paas maa ka diya hua ashirvad aur papaji diya hua radio hai - awesome. not one for LOL's generally, but LOL.
hehe....so u r last post landed u in some soup.....give me a call sometime.....havent spoken to u in ages....
@ Anononymous:
My mistake. You're right. English is one of the two official - not national - languages of India.
I was tardy. I apologise.
@kusum - well that comment actually reached my mail box :) and i wondered why you would even remove it - why o why o why??

@bindhu - very very guilty of point 1 :))

@brownie - thank you thank you :) a LOL from a non LOL-maker - now that's an honor lady :)

@ari - messaged you but you weren't around - cell phone is lost btw :(

@tele - don't know abt Anon but i forgive you girl :)
no comments!
i liked the last post. however, most of us (indians) find it really hard to laugh at ourselves. we also rarely admit it when things are going bad... if you've been to b'lore, you'll know what the roads are like - and yet, a friend of mine got angry when i complained; she said, "i don't mind... it's only bad near your house! maybe you live in a slum, don't blame all of india for that!" :)
and hey, like anu malik, i 'lifted' your idea for a post of my own. :D
The Gamesmaster chooses to do other things, out of petulant spite due to Mr. Nandy REFUSING TO UPDATE THE LINK FROM HIS BLOGROLL!

The Gamesmaster is a whiny little brat.
Goodie! Finally someone sees how evil male bloggers can also be!
Goshie havent been here for a while now. I thought the previous blog was pretty funny and those who didnt ppl plzzz buy yourself a sense of humor on your birthdays (Sagnik and I shall contribute to the cause) and this one was even better.
Hmmm.. the original post was funny... This was desperate...
LOL, both posts

Have you heard/seen this guy Russell Peters? He's a Canadian-Indian stand-up, and his harmless jokes on the races are superb.

I think you catch nuances quite well

Gud marning, Ladies and Gen'lemen. P'rajee aur Behnjee. Sat Sri

On behalf of Captaan Balbir Singh 'Bobby', this is your Flight Supervisor Banta Singh "Bunty" welcoming to you on the P'njaaab Airways flight no. 9211 (Nau Do Gyaraah) to Ludhiana. We apalogize for the two-day delay in taking off, b'cause the sun was not shining brightly in the fog. And we know that the sun does not shine in the night.

Landing in Ludhiana is not dafinite, but with good luck we can be
landing d'rectly in your v'llage. P'njaab Airways has exc'llaant record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the fully trained taarrists and hijackers re afraid to fly with us. I am pleased to 'nounce that starting this year over 90% of our p'ssaingers have reached to their dest'nation, for the rest 10%, the P'njaab Airways staff has lots of experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our Hostess Bubbly Kaur will be haippy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies.
If engines are too noisy, on p'ssainger request, we can turn them off for comfart, but your flight will become late and you may become the late also. For our religious p'ssaingers, we are the only airline who can help you to contact God at once.In case of sudden loss of cabin pressure, Holy Books will be quickly distributed.
We! regret that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we could not record it from the tallyvision due to power cut. But we will be flying right naxt to Air India, where their movie,can be seen from the right side cabin windows.
These windows have been opened for your viewing convenience. For p'ssaingers on left side, we have put binoculars under the seat. If AirIndia flight is again cancelled, then for your in-flight ent'tainment, our hostesses Bubbly Kaur & Cuckoo Kaur will do the Bhangra with flight stewards Pappu and Tappu. Oye, Balle Balle!!
Your in-flight Menu has a choice of Chicken Tikka Masala, Tandoori Fish,
Dal makhani, unlimited P'ronthas and Lassi. There is a Half charge for Red
Label Whiskey served from Black Label bottles. Patiala pegs will be served only on Patiala flights.
As per safety rules, smoking is ! not allowed on all P'njaab Airways
flights over P'njaab. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early
warning system on the engines.
Please to read the 'structions on the Safety Card in seat pocket in
your front side. It is not a hand fan. The P'ssainger behind you must read
the card in your backside. Life jackets are placed under your seats for emergency water landings on any of our 5 rivers. Do not use life jackets on the land. Kindly keep your seat in upright position for take-off & landing.
Please be seated first and then fasten your seatbelts. We are about to take-off. Thank you once again for flying with P'njaab Airways
Rimi-di??? We are not amused. Which is a slightly more stylish way of saying I'm hopping mad.

And when's the next bloody post, dammit?!!! Maane, there's NO way you're as busy as you'd like us to believe. No way. we're too smart to fall for that one. So POST ALREADY! X-(
Yes yes, what is all this hiding from your adoring fans? Notun post chai - to echo Rimi-DI :)
OMG! Cant believe I missed the storm! Hehehehe... this is funny. And the backlash, ooooooo :D

And not to forget the starting point of all desi travelers: Coming to the airport with a teeka and an entire extended family there to see him/her off, just for a flight 'abroad'!
How dare you make fun of Indians---you insufferable Bengali? You guys should be shipped off to Bangladesh. Your contribution to the country is zero---in terms of freedom struggle and in terms of the Army? Why isnt there any regiment named after Bengal? Because you are a bunch of cowardly Commies who can do nothing better than to make fun of Indians and boo the Indian team at Eden Gardens while clinging onto your pathetic culture of Rabindranath and Subhas Chandra Bose. Look at your sorry selves before you make fun of Indians.

--An Indian.
[A comment collage from my own blog--some paraphrasing done]
You forgot - Ask fellow passengers "You are from States? Vare from?" in loud voice and upon hearing the reply announce proudly, "My cousin is working in Houston!"
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