Wednesday, May 10, 2006

A friend when not in need ... 

Visit any of the popular social networking sites - Orkut, hi5, MySpace blah blah! There's a huuuuuge number of jobless men who are scavenging around these sites with the noble intentions of "making friends". I often look at these people and feel proud of my generation. We must have done something right to produce such a "friendly" lot of people. Yess! Now that I think about it, it does make complete sense. Why wouldn't a hot woman sitting in Boston not want a friend in Balampur India, who can't even spell the word friend right. I'm pretty darn sure that it has indeed been a long standing fantasy of hers to "make frendsip" with random strangers in Indian townships. I salute all ye friendly ones, without which we would not feel so comfortable in this planet.

But then don't categorize all these friends into one big group. These friends, though having a common philanthropic underlying goal, all have different styles. The other day I was categorizing the various "friends" to a friend and it might be worthwhile to mention some of them here:

* The dude: This breed makes extensive use of the modern day SMS lingo. They are super busy. They can't complete their words. "Hi thr, wuz doing rnd browsing. u r cute. wanna b frnds?" That's them. And then there'll be the customary winks and fellow smileys. I don't blame these people for their terse sentences though. They are understandably super busy. After all they are the ones who want to be friends with hundreds of thousands of people. Maintaining so many friends sure takes effort - so pardon their haste kind ones.

* The resume dude: This variety has a lot more time in their hands. Given a chance, they'll leave an entire resume as an initial note. "Hi, I was your neighbor during your three day stay in Ranchi. I am currently doing a computer course in NPTTCS. I saw you like Tom Hanks. I am a fan of him too. I liked him a lot in Titanic. Titanic is my favorite movie. Will you be my friend?" You can fall asleep while reading their messages. You can grow old while reading them. For all you know, you can even finish watching Tom Hanks's Titanic before you can read through the entire message. But there's something that is very earnest abt this variety of friends - they seem to make a sincere effort and I honor them for that.

* The lame complimenting guy (aka the Reproducer): This guy doesn't believing in knocking the door of your heart. He breaks it open. That too with a bang. "Hey cute pic. Nice smile. You are really beautiful. You have nice hair. Wanna make friendship?" If you are feeling low and need a morale booster, just put your best snap in one of these sites and before you hit the upload button you'll get these meaningful praisers responding to your photograph. Click on their profiles and visit some of their "other friends" and you'll get shocked to see the exact same lines with the exact same spelling mistakes reproduced. Clearly these sincere men do not want to differentiate between any of their friends and thinks of them all with an equal amount of love and honesty. Aaaaah!

Three simple points before I end this post. (i) You cannot MAKE friendship. If you pour the right amount of chocolate sauce and flour, you might bake it; for the right kind of gifts you can fake it; but puhleeeeeeeeeze - you cannot freakin make IT. (ii) Why don't we have friendship making women? How come I see absolutely no female counterpart of any of the aforementioned species? Why? (iii) And finally, please read this post, which is very similar in content and much better written. Sadly, I wrote this post a while back and couldn't resist the temptation of posting it - despite the similarities in content.

Thanks, thanks, kind sir. In all modesty, yours is also not bad. Heh.

And NOW, wll u mke frndsip wid me?
huh..so u think all the ppl who think im pretty. cute and wid a nice smile r just faking it...try me!! .........MISS ANONYMOUS
...and will you "make friendsip" with me sounds sooooo cool when said with a French / Latino / Bulgarian accent...the same grammar errors make your heart skip a beat! :p
@maraudersmap - oh most definitely i will make madam. and then i will leave comments on your profile saying - hey long time no see. how u doing? :))

@ms-anon - nah, babay! for you i will make an exception. i am pretty sure that they meant every word of it for you - just you :D

@qs.gemini - yup! the European men have it all - including the friends :((
and you beat me to it!! there's a rather sad looking draft sitting in blogger right now about these funny 'make frenship with me" messages!!:) it is quite a deal isnt it?? deleting those scraps's quite a big job!!:)
theres a community on orkut called "wanna be ur fran" that has girls putting together the most ooutrageous frnd requests that they get on orkut.

when time on hand is too much go see it!
Ha! Am wondering how you know so much about them, since the menfolk definitely don't get "friendship" offers (I mean negligible in comparison)...

I like the Ideal Match section on orkut in women's profiles. Obviously, we men don't have a clue what we want, but they know exactly what they want.
@ramya - what is this? national blog post topic or something :D btw, you should most definitely write your post!!

@jhantu - thanks for the link sir - most definitely will.

@sanity starved - well, come on! all of us have seen it. i am sure we are all members of some such comminty and all have female friends that have many such interesting suitors - that's where all my experience comes from (notice how strongly i defend myself) - :)
Sigh - I wish I could traumatize some of these 'wanna make frensip' types by proofreading their messages with red markers.

Aside @ qs.gemini - don't forget the Portuguese accent on orkut, lol.
Confession: I tried to limit the accents I noted here lest I sound fickle! ;-)
this is like the nth post that I've read in the past week about these funny characters wanting to make friendship. Sudden spurt of friendly pals around have we?
Also interesting is how the people of the same gender never seem to be interested in making friendships with each other.

And if you are a woman in a chat room, the number of friendly people increase exponentially with the exoticness of the woman's name. Most of the times it is just a guy with fake id though.
I have stopped lurking in those areas, but looks like things have not changed much.

I visited your HeadLINES...hilarious:)

PS - May be we can make friendship, since we are in the same place ;)
@urmea - wow! if you go through so much trouble for them - you might as well make friendship with them :))

@qs.gemini - oh! loooook at how qs and urmea are making friendship on my blog :D

@m - now that's a an exaggeration - i have read k posts on this topic but saying that there were n of them is exaggerating it :D

@shreemoyee - exactly the point that i raised - how come none of these friendly folks ever wanna be my friends - am i that bad (please dont answer that) :D

@queer - same place? as in US? or as in CA? or as in same city? or as in same workplace? *the suspense begins* :D
Same place. As in US. As in CA. As in same city. As in same workplace....Definitely not!:)
btw...which city?
Just change your online profile's name to sagnika and see how many friends you make.
Sagnik, its "fraandship", not "friendsip". Inexcusable mis-spelling , that. X-(

Anyway, I've always thought that "Will you make fraandship with me?" is a transliteration of the oft used Hindi phrase "Mujhse dosti karoge?" !
@queer - the plains of mountain view :)

@shreemoyee - and what exactly will i do then with all the people who would want to "make date" with sagnikaa :((

@ambar - a frand in need is a fran who needs spelling lessons indeed :D
beat this

hello there,,,, was shuurrfing the orkut ,i met with a accident thats ur PROFILE ,, thought i would arrest u tru cops ,, but they said to file an FIR with u,, SO m doing so,,,, CAN V B FRIENDS???? so that i can put u behind bars,,, chilll yaaa take care and have fun

how can anyone resist that?! :P

neways, funny post!
But I thought people asked asl before asking for making frendsip!No? You mean anything goes these days? What a friendly world!
being a guy, you got so many 'make frensip' messages? i thought only girls got those. and you seem angry with these guys - there doesn't seem to be much point in that... just ignore them and carry on.
Make friends. Not war. 8-). Nice post.
I agree with M. There are atleast n posts I've read on this topic. I feel totally out of loop since I've been too lazy to join Orkut or some such friendship thingy. I will go and rectify this pronto.

And since you cant find any girls who leave such messages, I'll hunt you down in Orkut and ask to "make" friendship. Just you wait :p
@kate - lol :)) oww, that does take the cake. ppl like this should be shut in a room with nothing but these scraps they have written as reading material - come to think of it they might not mind it that much :)

@aparna - oh no. tha twas when pictures were unavailable - now its friendsip first and s ltr :D

@chery - oh no! I didn't get these scraps - no one wants to be my friend (except for casablanca) - these are from viewed experience my friend :)

@dusty - thanks :)

@casablanca - i am waiting ... waiting ... waiting :D
which is why i am helping my friend build a website that's different in the way bollywood producers say their films are kuch hat ke. it's going to be ready next week.
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