Sunday, May 21, 2006

He has the wings ... 

Everyday you learn something new and in the past week I was taught abt a topic that I, courtesy my Indian upbringing, was completely unaware of. Let me now, like a good blogger, pass on the immense volume of knowledge that I gained on the topic of the NIGHTCLUB WINGMAN!!

It all started as a harmless invitation to accompany a friend to a posh SF night club. Now I wont deny the mild shock that this offer gave me. After all this is me that I am talking abt. The same me who got rejected from a workshop in undergrad that TEACHES dance - yes, they found me unsuitable to even LEARN dancing. So the invitation to accompany someone to a night club did mildly amuse me. But then we stay in a society where Britney Spears nearly dropping her baby gets more news coverage than the share market actually dropping. So I wasn't surprised too much. Blah blah!

We arrived at the club. We were greeted by a lady whose bosom would have made Pam Anderson feel like a teenage girl desperately wanting breast implants. We squeezed our way into the night club through a throng of drunk men and women from the present generation who were trying hard to produce the next generation. I tried to make myself invisible. I failed. My friend spotted me and tried to pull me into the dance floor but I did the whole "coyly let go off me" act that Indian actresses do when the mustached hero tries to kiss them for the first time behind a tree. This went on for a few times. My kind friend would come and try to drag me into the dance floor and I would give him the "Aiiyyo! Kya karte ho ji?" look and run away. Mind you, all this while I was thinking that my friend was feeling bad for the fact that I wasn't dancing and was trying to ensure that I have fun too. It was all going well (as well as things can be for a non dancer in a night club) till my friend got all angry and agitated and informed me that I was a terrible WINGMAN! What? What? And in case I haven't stressed on my lack of awareness - WHAT? What is a freakin Wingman?

A wingman, it seems, is the quintessential hero's friend. The guy who shields away the heroine's nasal pouty friend by romancing her. Hmmmm! Very interesting indeed. It seems that girls mainly visit night clubs in groups (I have indeed noticed this in the past). So if a guy goes up to a group of girls and asks one of them for a dance then not only does he look like the "lone loser", he also stands close to no chance of getting her, given that the girl would almost never leave her other friends for him. So he is expected to bring more men along with him so that the friend(s) can keep the other women busy while the hero tries to woo the lead heroine. I was also told that the Wingman has to be a man of caliber himself. Simply because these second tier friends of the heroine can be quite fussy themselves. They wouldn't want to hang out with a man of debatable credentials while their friend dances away to glory and probably finds the future father of her child. Nope! That cannot happen. So even if they don't get the best man, they want a good enough replacement. It seems that if the Wingman aint good enough for the remaining women they will simply drag their dancing friend out of the dance floor and say "Let's go"! Thus, while the Wingman is definitely a supporting actor in the cast, he is an essential one; one who has quite the control over the central story.

Wow! That was some new knowledge for me. I grew up in India and I did frequent some night clubs in my time. We had no notion of Wingmen then (correct me if things have changed). Unlike US, where the larger fraction of the nightclub population is single people willing to mingle and jingle, in India the most common clubbers are groups of people who are already hooked up. "Hey, me and my boyfriend are going to Tantra tonight. Why don't you and Jay come along too and we can also pick up Sheela and Sanjay." That's the majority of Indian clubbers that I knew of. Moreover, in India, men hate competition. They never go for the hunt with another hunter. Coz we all know that single women are difficult to find and when you do spot one you don't want to compete with your friends for their attention. The only group of guys who go without women to Indian night clubs are the ones who have no chance whatsover to impress any woman. In that case it does make sense to have your friends come along so that you can distribute the blame of failure. You can easily spot this group in the corners of night clubs where they will have their all boys dance party. Yeah! That's how things were and I'll be surprised if they have changed much now. Please Educate me!

P.S. A line from the weekend that I'm particularly proud of - My car is so old that it was bought second hand by a dinosaur. Ha Ha!

Hehe!.the wingman concept is very american. Definitely got educated on that one while in NYC

Dont know if your friend told you this, that the wing man DEFINITELY has to be less attractive than the hero. :)) Otherwise, the wonman in question will fall for the wingman! Wanna check up with ur friend on that one ;) ??
Actually there is a firm in NYC where you can get wingwomen for hire.(on a per hour basis). The principle on which the business works is that women usually go for a guy who is already accompanied by a woman "friend"---its a sign that the guy isnt a total loser. Tell your friend that and next time, expect to get paid. If not get laid.
Mmmnh! Must say I also came to know abt the concept here too - this made for a good read. You didnt say what happened to your friend's endevour though :)

YOur last line had me in spilts - and Greatbong's comment - I didnt even know such services existed! whoa!

@devyani - oh he didn't have to mention that - i figured that myself - i was supposed to play second fiddle - alas i didn't second that :)

@arnab - wow! so not only did my friend think i was going to play second fiddle to him, he was not paying me for what is otherwise a professional service????

@supremus - my friend came back with me without anybody else in the car :((
Aiiyyo! Kya karte ho ji? :))
oh I don't know, many male friends have asked me, very politely of course, to be their "wingman"... what I'm supposed to do... I'm not very sure - hit on the girl de jour's other girlfriends?
Wingman btw, always reminds me of Top Gun. I feel like a female version of Val Kilmer.
"They never go for the hunt with another hunter. Coz we all know that single women are difficult to find and when you do spot one you don't want to compete with your friends for their attention."

Would like to defer from the above observation...Its better to go to a night club with guys who have a better chance then you have...Kaddu katega toh samme batega:).... and being a good friend of "that HOT chick's" bf has its own perks..hmmm!
@bindhu - :))

@scout - what?? a female wingman? shouldn't they rather try getting you??

@vin - for a lot of these men they can't even get any kaddu, forget sharing it :D
I'm reminded of the Bud Light commercial where a wingman drags the heroine's friend to a table for several shots of boredom while the hero dances it up :P The ad ends with a hum that goes "winggggggggg maaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnn" =)) haha.

I've winged and i've also been winged. Sometimes, both me and my wingman have broken the group barrier together :P
Wow... I wasn't aware of this at all. :-) ...
i suppose they realized the futility of it all - or is it just me flattering myself?
nah, male friends don't cross into 'potential love interest' territory - too dangerous, that.

but thanks for being concerned!
@desh-mera - never seen the ad :(( but will try to get it now

@swapna - i have always maintained that this blog is an academic zone :)

@scout - haha! that is where things are diff in India - where every man who is friends with a hot girl will try for her attention at some time :)
Shiva shiva...major kalyug!
If I want to retain any trust in the male species, I must stop reading your blog, your sense of humor notwithstanding!
Now that you point it out it is a pretty common practice, just didnt it had been coined officially. Btw would the wingman remain similar or equal standing as a certain Deepak Tijori :)
@qs - aiiyo! as it is I have very few readers and now you want to reduce that itself - nooooooo! i will pay you to keep reading :D

@rohan - i kept thinking abt Deepak Tijori while writing the post :))
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