Wednesday, May 31, 2006


This post and the next post will be courtesy Madame QS and the aging Rimi. I've decided to write stuff that is stolen, suggested or inspired by these talented ladies. The first post is courtesy this brilliant post by QS where she lists out top ten ways in which men can spoil a date. I must confess that she does a great job in capturing the male behavior. But alas you get to see just one side of the story. Think abt what's going on in the male mind. Agreed that as long as the woman in front is a woman, the man will be pretty happy. But the woman sure CAN make things difficult for the male specie. So here it goes. Top five ways in which women can spoil a date for a man. (why five and not ten you ask? Well simple, coz I write excruciatingly loooong posts and want to spare you the trouble).

1. She makes you wait and wait and wait and wait ... And it's not just the wait. It's the way they build up the whole wait that bugs men the most. The feeling that the wait it almost over and ... and ... and ... more wait. So you drive all the way to the other end of the city to pick her up and she told you that she'll be ready at 630pm SHARP. You ring the bell and she opens it hastily and says "Give me JUST ONE MORE MINUTE!" And then she disappears. The seconds hand of your watch makes a twenty second round of the circumference and still she doesn't come back. Ten minutes later she comes and says, "I'm soooo sorry. My friend called me up just before you came and her ..." You cut her short with the contrived smile and say "No problem. Take your time." And she does. She disappears again and returns fifteen minutes later looking exactly the way she did when she opened the door first. Please freakin explain it to me what feat was accomplished in this time period. Anyway, that was techniqo UNO in which women can spoil a date even before it starts.

2. Spend an hour deciding what she wants to eat. Men always know what they want to eat. We don't think twice and we DON'T mix food varieties. Our answer is always "Chinese" or "Indian" or "Pizza" or whatever - but it is always one word. For all you know we even have a restaurant in our mind and if the guy is like me - he even has the menu chalked out. But then we are gentlemen and we ask the fairer sex what they want and there begins round two of the wait. "You know what I feel like eating? I'm in a very Pizza-ish mood ... but I also want to have this amaaaaaaaaaazingggggg chocolate ice cream they sell in this shop on the other side of the city ... Actually you know what'll be great? My friend went to SOME Japanese restaurant where the sushi was great ..." Yup! Date spoiling technique Deux.

3. Have another appointment for the same evening. Ladies - this is a simple dating rule - when you go out on a date you JUST go out on a date. Don't start with, "I have to be back home in two hours. Coz my friend's sister is getting married and her fiancee ..." That aint fair o fairer sex. When a man goes out with a woman he hopes at the bottom of his heart that something exciting will happen at th eend of the night. And for that he is willing to wait for years if need be. Ask your male date if he is willing to accompany you to the other end of the country and say that with a wink and he WILL accompany you there - with nothing but a faint hope in his heart. That's how desperate my specie is. So please return the favor by keeping the date "other engagement free"!

4. Eating the other person's food. This is another female classic. As I mentioned earlier - men have their menu all chalked out in their mind and they stick to it. Women on the other hand, always experiment with their food and then fall back on the man's plate for the safe meal. Who the fudge asked you to order "Apple with chicken broth in the first place?" And now that you have ordered it - suffer with it. Don't eye my Sweet and Sour Chicken dish please. And it always begins with, "Can I take a small bite from your dish?" You smile and say "Yes" and she obliges and the bite is instantly followed by "Wwwwwoooow! This is sooooo good. Do you mind if I take another bite?" And if that was not enough, they then add salt to the wound by gracefully offering you their discarded dish. Aaaaaarghhh!

5. Keep the cell phones off - will ya? I don't know abt other guys but if I'm out with a woman, the only calls I receive are from other cuter women :) What's this with the annoying best friend calling every fifteen minutes into a date. Here you are talking about how you love Apple with chicken broth when her phone rings. She says the customary "One sec!" and then continues for ten minutes and at the end you get a 2 second summary. "It was my best friend. They are going for a movie." What?????? That's what you guys discussed for ten minutes. What was she doing? Telling you the story of that freakin movie or what?

Evidently there are other things that can go wrong. But men are easy to please. Even if you have messed up the whole evening you can make up for it by leaning towards him at the end of the evening and just when he thinks it's a dream come true - your best friend will call you coz her movie just got over :) Peace!


Zyata. Nevvah do these things. Am very sensible aging aunt-type person stuck in 21 year old body only. Wot this generalising yaa?

And did you see my scathingly insulting comment to the last post? Did you???
you know, you could have just TOLD me that you didn't like it when i took a bite out of your sandwich. chhi. emon korle?
Since when did men start nagging?(rolling eyes)
@rimi - insulting comment? that to you brute? no way :) it's a pleasure old woman :D

@telytoots - you remember the innocent bite you took but forgot the extra 30 mins you made me wait alone with horny couples in Aqua Java?

@ratna - lol! i am all abt equality you see - even it comes with extra "naggage" :D
Wow! Spot on... at least in these five things!

Did you notice they also have the same laundry list of questions to ask about you? I think they call each other to make sure the event is going on as per schedule!
Sudip, list of qs??? There's a list of questions??? Man, I hate to break this to you, but you've been dating some weird people :P

Sagnik--excuse me, if I say I've insulted, I've insulted. Accept it, dammit!
oshadharon! bang on!
@sanity - you have been luckier :(( with me the most common question is "when are we returning home??" :(

@rimi - ok ok - you have indeed insulted. i feel humiliated and used :))

@m - ah thank you madam! a million thanks :)
Why don't you just stay at home?
Wow...I hate to say it, but it's not that further from the truth! And funny!

But men are easy to please... - your best friend will call you coz her movie just got over :) Peace!

This by itself is the root of the battle of the sexes.

I will respond to it!

You should have warned me you were posting my link - at least that would have mitigated my shock at seeing the number of hits on my blog! :) It's not even ready for primetime!
without concentrate on the battle.. and ego part of it..

That's funny.. immensely hilarious!

Alone? What rubbish! I walked in to find you reclining on a bean bag with your arms around a tall man and a pretty woman. It took me a moment to pick you out from among the vista of horny couples.
I always love your posts but I seriously go blank when I have to comment.

So now onwards, instead of leaving Present sir!! sort of comments, I will shut up and just read, er, thought I should tell you though.
@WMING - good point - shall definitely consider it!!

@qs-ji - oh this post thanks you and so does its author :)

@shrek - thank you :)

@telytooty - alas! tall man and cute woman knew each other better than i knew them and hence i was reduced to being bystander in coochie cooo session :((

@kusum - not fair! i can't just let my regular commenters go away - how much is my competitor paying you? i will double that plus you get two days offf per week :D
hey come on girls r meant to be pampered! n of course u guys shud put up with all the reasons u hv mentioned as date spoilers by girls!:)... i also know u guys secretly like all those 'date spoiler stuff' tat girls do...so do accept tat!:) n hey if a girl can spoil a date so much for u guys n if u guys find it sooo difficult y do u guys again n again go in for a date knowing its pains??? :)...u guys mite as well stop goin on dates n be happy rather than goin on dates with girls n later cribbing abt it;);)
" 1. She makes you wait and wait and wait and wait "

Didn't your mother ever teach you that the best things in life are worth waiting for?? Us ladies are just trying to make sure you know and respect all the golden rules.

" 2. Spend an hour deciding what she wants to eat. "

Life is full of hard decisions. The lady already made a hard decision when she agreed to the date with you in the first place, so why don't you just be happy with the fact that she put you in her date book and let her take her time ordering. Food picking is a very delicate procedure, one that takes much time and energy. And even if we pick a crappy dish, it probably looked really pretty. And we like pretty things.

" 3. Have another appointment for the same evening "

What can I say....when you're hot, you're hot. Its not our fault that us ladies are very wanted in all aspects of life. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, that's why sometimes we have to double book. Just be happy that you got a dinner date and not a breakfast or a lunch date. It means the lady would rather complete her busy day with the sight of you then just get the date over with earlier. So maybe she was even looking foward to it. So suck it up and be happy.

" 4. Eating the other person's food"

Sharing is caring.

" 5. Keep the cell phones off "

No can do buddy. See this handy dandy electronic device is our version of 'get of the horrible and boring date free card'. When the date can't supply enough intellegent or interesting conversation, a call from a friend might be our only chance at some decent conversation. And also, a prearranged phone call from a friend had been planned just incase the date turned out to be a pysco and we needed some rescueing. So a 10 minute long wait when that phone call arrived, be glad the phone call was longer then shorter because in code we just told our friend we were having a good time and we didnt need rescuing.

Sagnik Nandy said...
@sanity - you have been luckier :(( with me the most common question is "when are we returning home??" :(

Whose? ;-) You lucky guy!

@sara: Touche! :)
I apologise, in that case, for letting you feel unwanted. :)
may be everything else is true.. But certainly not the apple with chicken part..

Thats gender irrelevant..
@xyz - "we secretly like the date spoiling that women do"???? what???? yeah sure :D but then when the lawyer speaketh - we listen :)

@sara - the age old example of a comment being better than the post itself :(( i am speechless *clap*

@sagnik nandy says to what qs gemini said sagnik said - touche touche :)

@teltooty - but then you more than made up for it by wearing the yellow saree with pin kdots :p

@bindhu - you have no right to come to my blog and insult one of my favortie dishes - it is just not fair - i am emotionally hurt now :((
home, eh? :D
i came here from qsg. curious to see the list you'd come up with.
minor explanation reg #3 on your list -it's just a defense tactic- more often than not the "gentleman" ends up displaying 4 or more characteristics that qsg elaborated on. then, we need a bail-out plan, no? that's when the friend's sister's dog died excuse comes handy. so don't hold that against us. if you behave, we won't have to use it.;)
So very funny!!
@sanity - double eh??

@tgfi - hmmm! that actually makes sense and i hate accepting that :))

@pallavi - thanks :)
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