Sunday, June 04, 2006

They can flush and still make you blush! 

The Rimi lady can get quite angry I've been told. And hence I shall honor her request pronto. That would make this my first "suggested by other" post. For those of you who are unaware of what moi is talking abt, a lil black and white flashback - a few days back the old lady asked me to write a post abt things that women can get away with but men cannot. Aha! I exclaimed to myself. So finally someone actually accepts that women can indeed get away with stuff that the male specie can't even imagine trying. Rimi also mentioned as an example "like women can wear pink but men can't ..." No! I said to myself. I'm not going to go the fashion route - that is soooo obvious. Instead I will talk abt other social phenomenon that the fairer sex can get away with but men shudder to even think abt. Here it goes:

1. Go to the bathroom together and not look strange. I remember mentioning this years ago in a post and lemme repeat the point. What's this with women accompanying other women to the loo? It's like a social gathering in there. One woman has to say "I'll be back from the toilet" and before you know it's like a freakin picnic in there. All the other women join in with "Wait a sec. I'll come along too." Men will never dream of making a statement like that. Can you even imagine a guy telling another guy "Hey, I'm going to the toilet. Wanna join me?" Noooooo!!

2. Be in a group in a club by themselves and NOT look desperate. How does this system work? A group of girls dancing all by themselves in a club is a sexy thing and the same scene enacted by the male specie is a sight of sadness???? If you see a group of men all by themselves in a social gathering people instantly exchange smirks. "Look look! Despos." ... "That's sad." ... "Man, how lame are they?" you hear. But put a group of five girls by themselves and the nudges and expressions change . "Wow! Look at them man." ... "That's so progressive" ... blah blah!

3. Add sexyness to something as mundane as eating. This one completely amazes me. A woman eating a banana or gently licking a lollypop is supposed to be an erotic activity. So a girl could be without make up and just have a banana in her arsenal and still break hearts? But men? Nada! Is there any food that you can imagine a man eating and adding anything remotely sexy to the situation - think - burrito, spilling burgers, dosa, chicken legs - nothing. The only effect we can produce is that of disgust when we have sauces and stuffing dripping from all sides and try to cover it up with a smile that only reveals spinach stuck between our teeth - aaaaargh!

4. Proudly proclaim that you have a Best Friend. Every girl it seems has a best friend. Now it was all fine when I was in kindergarten and shared tiffin with my best friend. "Who gave you that red pencil?" my mom would ask and I would reply with "My Best Friend!" But as I grew older I became more reticent to even accept that I have "close male friends". Don't get me wrong. Men have friends but we can't talk much abt our proximity without sounding strange. Can you imagine me making this statement. "Oh! I'm going to spend the night at my best friend's house. We will change into our night clothes and talk all night long!" Naaaaaaah! But the women have it different. Every woman seems to have a "Best Friend" story dating back to less than a week. "Me and my best friend, we spoke for hours last night." "My best friend and I went for a tan together." ... yada yada. And sometimes it's not just limited to best friends. They take it one notch higher. "Shilpa and I are the bestEST of friends. We've known each other for years and share everything with each other!" Now try replacing Shilpa in that statement with Sanjay and ask yourself if it still sounds right. I rest my case.

There you go Rimi girl. I have kept my word and now it's your turn. Send me the phone number of your best friend and take her to the toilet and put in a good word for me. Will ya?

P.S. Random conversation from the weekend:
She: I once got angry with my ex and kicked him out there.
Me: Lemme get this right. You got pissed with him and made sure that he can't piss no more?


For elucidation on the first point, do read this: http://chattypriya.blogspot.com/2006/05/women-in-public-loos.html
I always admitted that we get away with so much more that men do! ;)
N you're right on with point 2. Guys might go clubbing in a group, but they're always looking around, rather than being part of the group...thus seeming desperate!

n lets add ice cream to point 3! ;) mwahaha
:) nice one doc!
after reading your post i got reminded of this incident at my work place.
theres a cafe coffee day here to which am pretty much a regular customer everyday, although the guy there doesnt know me on name basis, he sure recognizes me and theres also this pretty looking lady who visits this coffee shop at more or less the same time as i do. once it so happened that i had to change a 100 rupee note for my cuppa, the same with her...to my amazement he said she can pay later..to me 'sir, change please!' i offered him to have the 100 and said i will collect the change later...naaay he wouldnt budge...finally i had to spend some more to round it off to 50 to get my coffee...so i think pretty ladies sometimes take advantage of mens weakness and their beauty :))
btw came through camelinthedesert
@mmap - most definitely will madam. nothing like pure information for a god read :D

@iksha - yup! agreed. seeing a woman have cold ice cream can be quite hot too :)

@gullu - and that is why we need "change" :))
i love being a girl.

p.s. what happened to the headlines? i miss them oh so much.
About loos, You men can stand in front of a wall and flush without a blush. Now can we?
The only place on this earth that doesn't make me feel bad about being "just a girl" is this blog! Keep it going Sagnik, my self esteem might go back to it's original levels.

Great post...

For the record, wash rooms are the place to catch up on gossip, exchange notes on the guy who was sitting across from you at the restaurant etc etc... important stuff.
About eating being sexy - well, do we really have a choice if we are as cute as we are? ;-)

But, there are way more things men can get away with...waaaaay more!
@sara - i assure you headLINES will be back in a week :)

@shreemoyee - to be very honest when i was writing this post i knew that someone will raise this point and it is you madam :D

@qs - oh thank you very much. as far as women being really cute - well i am not complaining abt that either :)
*blushing* oops, you made me think of the no of times point #1 has happened with me :)
shreemoyee's observation raises a very good point... r guys least bothered about surroundings & cleanliness ala gals pointed by chattypriya...
it still amazes me how guys can do it on walls, even though me being a guy..
of course in forest & mountains u use nature as the resource.. the funny part is not many gals r ready to relieve themselves while trekking & stay overnight in jungles!! :-)

gals eating ice creams & banana's r a tr8 to watch!! :-)

Nice one.

For more similar anedotes and ebhaviour, read "Why Men don't listen, and Women can't read maps?"

Came here through DesiPundit.
@RS - so out with th esecret please - what do you people discuss out there??? from what qs said, the loo seems to be the major socializing zone and not th erestaurant itself :D

@sathish - wow, you sir, have quite the insign in matters related to p-ing!!!

@nirav - thanks :)
I had this interesting male colleague - Sid. He used to get so pissed off (uhm) about me and a female colleague going to the loo, that everytime we went, he'd say - Wait, wait. I'll come too.

He'd then continue to tell us about what he ate for dinner, which part of his body was cramping etc. He'd go to the Men's Room, finish his job and wait outside the Women's for us to come out.

After a week, that girl and I had to sneak out to go to the loo. Sheeeesh! :D
Dude you have just shown the tip of ice berg, the list is very long indeed. Each blogger will have his own story for it. We can form a fraternity out of it. I will give few cues

When a guy stays at home after graduation without work he is inutile (‘vodhavakarai’), if the same is done by a girl she is said to preserve the dignity of the family…

When a girl is driving, you can’t say she is driving the vehicle or the vehicle is driving her. While she drives a car ( or vice-versa ) she blinks the indicator to the left indicating that she is turning left , stretches hand to right indicating that she is turning right and at the same time apply the brakes with all the power, she herself really didn’t know where she is heading. Imagine the commotion on the high traffic road. But she can sway a cute smile and frown her cheek and say a sweet “Sorry I didn’t mean it” and can drive away cheerfully. Man can you imagine yourself in her shoes, it is a man’s nightmare.

When a girl flunks in her school exam, she can hold the report in her hand in front of dad with a dam of tears in her eye factory, dad will say “It is ok do well next time. It is time for dinner wash your face and come”. “ I wonder what is inside your head, is it clay or mud” this will be the rhetoric for the guy for the same kind of situation.

At office she can say to her boss irrefutably “It is getting dark outside I have to leave now” (when there is no cab to drop) his male counterpart can only look at her coveted….

And so it goes. But I am not a male chauvinist to deny the fact that there are so many sociological things which is potential to banish the life path which a female can’t get away with just like a man can. These are the sinister curse bestowed upon the women of our society by the men.
Nandy, I love you! You rock! This is sidesplitting!

Wait, hello, I suggested this. So the cred's all mine. Still, the tagline remains the same: Nandy, I love you! You rock!

Also, re. someone's comment, is this linked on Desipundit? You owe me one (more), Sagnik. But to return to fangirl mode: ki post, boss!
I second gemini, this post does wonders to the female self esteem.

Teehee this is brilliant.

P.S I hope you will keep your word and pay me double than your competitor pays me, and yeah not to forget my tow days off :)
Good one dude!
About the looking for company for loo thing, I think its bcoz of one of two things,

a. Everytime you rise, the whole, like THE WHOLE resterant turns to look at you. Ok, it feels like that sometimes. Company to reduce the attention is one point.

b. This whole going to the loo can feel a little awkward sometimes. Its nice to share the awkwardness no?

Thats my thesis on it anyhoo.

Lookin sexy while eating is fine and all. But what happens if you are a habitual food-spiller? No way round this one, I guess :(
Bingo on every one of them. Oshadharon post.
tats girls for u!!! we cant help it if we r naturally tat sexy n cute!:)...we hv this inbuilt charm in us! so there is no place for talks like 'we getting away with stuff' n all...its not like we r deliberately doing all this n getting away with it! its just tat we r so naturally lovable n cute!:)
hi shaggy!
awsome posts!esp the one abt super heros.seen incredibles?
@neha - yikes! that almost sounds crude. cheeh cheeh to the guy!

@mathivanan - now that comment merits a post. agree to all your points. so why dont you write a full post on this?

@rimi - i love you too. now please go and tell mama this and fix up all the dowry issues will ya?

@kusum - hey! she returns :) why just two days off? take the entire week off - as long as you work in those days though :D

@psyche - my question then is why dont people look at a man when he gets up to visit the loo??? don't we deserve that much attention :P

@m - coming from you that's a Compliment with a capital C :)

@xyz - that comment is like deja vu madam - look at her flaunting her cuteness and getting away with it :P add one more to the list will ya?

@anu - thanks :) incredible was incredible - come this weekend and we will say the same thing abt Cars I feel :)
The "youth" has to be very grateful for the post.

The send off was spectacular! :D
And then, they see the light!:)

But seriously, I have seen guys go into the same bathroom at the same time....and mind you not stalls. They just don't say it, but they too do it!
this is so damn hitting the bloody nail on the very center of its bloody head.. especially the dancing thingy in clubs.. damn the girls
Well, some of the things I have surprisingly gotten away with:

Caught by the principal throwing a chalk at someone while the class was underway - all he does is smiles and makes a funny comment to my teacher. My teacher apologizes for the principal's behavior! :p Go figure!

Have gotten out of sticky situations at work, extended vacation, and gotten a day to go out shopping because I was too stressed!

Was one of the most mischievous people in my class - until high school - all the teachers thought I was an angel - I did what the boys got time outs for - I got to be the class monitor!

I am not complaining. You don't even have to be good lookin'! :))

Small perks! :) I don't even feel guilty about this stuff ... shameless!

Neha - your colleague was quite something!!!! Freaky!

Sagnik: Believe me the wash rooms are places for comparing quick notes!!!
Hey, you went south to study. So please to be commenting on my latest post. Please please.

And Dadu, makes up yours mind. Is it me, or is it my best friend? Huh, huh? Cheeh cheeh, ki playboy *shakes head*
@sanity - yes yes, i have done my bit for the youht - now time to go and take a byte from them :D

@queer - you have seen them as in - inside the loo :OOOOOO

@jhantu - thats a nail biting finish :)

@qs - look at you shamelessly boasting of all the "i got away with this and that" - these are things you shouldnt discuss in a blog but rather in a women's loo - duh!!

@rimi - beggars and bachelors can seldom be choosers - you or best friend or both - all of them work for me :D
@gullu- I do agree that girls get special attention most of the times. But it doesn't mean that girls take advantage all the time!!... Also, its the girls who have to tolerate all these nuisances.. guys can get away with a punch.

@sagnik - I wonder whether girls would talk to each other if they are made to pee in a non-compartmentalised restroon like guys have!!

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