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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

When traditions are broken ... 

Quite a few people were shocked by the content of my previous post. A lot of them thought I had mellowed down :( So I thought I'll shock them further with the title of this post. But wait! Looks and titles can be deceptive. So read on.

Times change and make traditions obsolete. Habits of the past appear ludicrous and make way for would be ludicrous trends. This post is to thank and celebrate the slow disappearance of one such trend.

India has changed a lot over the past 5 years. Be it the language, tech-savyness or fashion sense - the country has taken massive steps towards changing times. One of my favorite fashion changes (or maybe its a cultural change) is something that many of you might not have even seen - that of women using their lingerie as purses.

I grew up at a time when most aunties wore sarees. The few who wore salwar suits were termed progressive. And almost all these people would keep something or the other in their bras. Mostly this was money. Some other ladies used their cleavage as a locker for house keys. Other women would have their grocery shopping ToDo lists hidden in their bra straps. Am I not glad that I don't see this happening any more!! Boy! It was sooo freakin embarrassing. Middle-aged ladies and people you referred to as aunties would suddenly put their hands inside their blouses and like a magician pulling out a rabbit from a hat - tan tan tanaa - something would come out. For me, it was mostly aunts giving me money to have soft drinks (yeah! I grew up at a time when a Thums Up bottle was still considered to be an incentive). "Wait beta. Don't go," They'd say. And then they would put their hands in their blouses, wait for a while to allow me to build up an expression of excitement, and then reward me with a five rupee note. I remember feeling extremely awkward in those moments.

No seriosuly. I've seen ladies in crowded buses taking out money from inside their "you know what" to give it to the conductor. That's not very good conducting, I'd say. And the worst was when they could not find what they were searching for. Coz some women would take this to an art form. They would have item A on one side and item B on the other side ... and somewhere, during the hustle and bustle of the day, the two items would mix up. People reading this post who haven't seen a sixty year old woman searching for that extra amount of change she was sure she had kept "there", feel happy, will ya?

Interestingly, men, in-spite of the several allegations of crudeness against them, have never done something like this. My twisted mind has always imagined going on a perfect date where I take the woman to a wonderful restaurant. We eat, we smile, we giggle. I even reuse a lot of the old material from this blog to make her squirm and fake smile. And then just when it is time to pay the bill (the point where she does the whole fake "how much" act) I put my hand inside my underwear and pull out my credit card. "Please, I insist that dinner is on me," I smile and tell her. Very classy. And wait, it's not over. Then I put my other hand inside the underwear, search around for a while on the other side, and wohoooo! what do we have? A nice red rose!! "That's for you bebeh!," I tell her with my trademark wink. How cool is that, eh?

Wooof!!

Labels:


Comments:
Yeah, had often noticed that...and I always thought, when I was below ten years old (mentioning so that you excuse my idiocy) whether that's the perfect thing to do when you wear a saree.
 
Yikes! You remember such things!
 
ROFL... Very funny...
But I do agree with this thing... Good its not prevalent anymore.. :)
And nopes.. I dont think I will be still conscious if I see a guy doing that... :)
 
Very funny, and a disturbing image at the same time!
Phew, the earlier post was a short term lapse in judgment - welcome back! ;)
 
This was hilarious. And bang on. And it still happens. Not only the conjuring of money from the deep recess of the blouse or whatever else, but also on long distance journeys carrying valuables (usually money) in a pocket made in the petticoat. I've always wondered how ethey access it in times of need. Just lift up the saree and extract the money?
Great post sagnik!
 
I was on my regular bus to college. We had a new conductor, a relatively young chap. There is this lady sitting next to me, occupiying one and a half seat. The conductor comes for the ticket, and the next second she grabs her blouse thrusts her hand inside and searches for the money. The man looked positively horrified, embarrased and stunned. He turned away quickly. The funnier part was the way he held the 5 ruppee note. Like holding a dead rat by his tail. Hilarious...
 
@aparna - when i was ten years i too thought ... who am i kidding - when i was ten i didnt think abt all this :D

@rimi - yes rimi i had a scarred childhood :(

@smiling-girl - well that ruins any chances of me paying for you if we ever go out - i am not buying a wallet to keep the credit card - shooo away :D

@qsg - as i have already said, the previous post was just plagiarized from a different source :)

@m - ha ha! the wholw shaya thing! very true. but i will agree that it looks kinda cook when women tuck their keys in the shaya. its almost a fashion statement i believe.

@caco - aaaaaaaah! what have you done now. spoilt my early morning mental imagery!!!
 
Yuuucckkkk!! That is so yewwekkk..sheesh. I hope you tell ur date beforehand..
 
As your well-wisher, I advise you to take out all the thorns before you hide the rose in your underwear :D
 
As your well-wisher, I advise you to take out all the thorns before you hide the rose in your underwear :D
 
This is the best laugh I've had after watching Munna Bhai 2. Especially the well wisher comment! Go shaggy :)
-Devyani
 
@pallavi - hey, i am all abt surprises :D

@kind-anon - hey ppl have called me a prick in the past - i guess it is just apr then :)

@devyani - thank you :)
 
very funny post as ususal!!!
yes indian women hav discovered the handbag..but havent ny of u seen lungi wearing rickshawallahs reach into thier undergarnent or whatever inside their lungi for money??? very embarassing taht too!!
 
Amazing post after a long time. This is the kind of standard of humour we expect from you Sagnik. Hope you keep up with it.

Thanks for the good chuckle!!
 
Funny one:) Seen it still happening here! And bad image forming in my thoughts!:) hahaha
 
@anon - thank you :) and yes, rickshawwallas do that but have you ever seen a rick puller with a wallet? i have seen aunties with expensive purses still keeping their money close to their heart :D

@manchus - how nice to see you :) i dont know whether to thank you for liking this post or feel sad that you thought my other posts sucked - so lemme put two emotions :( :)

@duhita - what do you mean by "here"? *plans to start stalking her(?) soon*
 
Yo! Glad you're back to normal man! the previous post had me believe that its the end of the humor world for me.
And OMG!!! how the heck do you notice and remember all this stuff after so many years yaar!
 
ROFL :)) now I know why you are always on the look out for dates
 
I can't believe you're still peddling this bilge ;-)

Mosti,

R.S.D.

PS: I don't know why, but I have access to Blogger now.

PPS: Are you coming to India in Jan?
 
@tweety - i assure that things will only get worse - really bad :) terrible posts will follow - if i may say :D

@ratna - he he :) simply coz every rose has a thorn :D

@rsd - you prick! you better get your tickets for Kol asap. I'm plannin to be there from End Dec to Mid Jan. We HAVE to meet up dude.
 
LOL! LOL!
in-spite of the several allegations of crudeness against them, have never done something like this

well, they put up posts like these and all balance is restored as far as crudeness goes.
 
*shocked* Did I just read what I think I just read?
LOL
how in the world do you come up with such things! Im still amused! How How!!
 
Oh pls... I will buy you one. Just that I dont want to faint in a restaurant, u see..;)
 
ah, but have you observed the change in lingerie itself over these past 5 years? 'jellyboy' has a lingerie shop displaying the flimsiest, nastiest stuff i've ever seen in one of the new malls in full public view. :) many men in india seem to be on a perennial penis-search expedition in public - that hasn't changed! :D
 
No 1, you were talking abt India changing, I don't live there, so 'here' is where I live:) No 2, yes yes (her) it is...gee short term memory mate, after you looked up the definition of my name, my parents would've really hated me to give me a name like that should I have been a guy!:p
 
@tgfi - seriously, men i tell you! why would they ever do that? why? why?

@the :) girl - ok, in that case puhleeeze do send the money - i will go and eat by myself - but phleeze do send :D

@ch@ry - and that my friend is another topic altogether. one that has been lingeri(e)ng for a while now!!!

@duhita - hmmmmm!!! girl who stays here :)*eyes brighten up* now the question is - Will you send me some money for dinner????
 
:P.. sure.. address batao..
*shakes head at the chivalry levels these days*
 
na, seriously.... its a brilliant post... but look at it this way, women have more than one place to hide their stuff than the you know wehre... but u poor guys just have only one place and that too fraught with difficulties.....bechara. but i think uv been saved from witnessing the other hiding places.....uv been more marked that scarred....
 
You notice some very interesting quirky stuff.
 
Oh my gawd!!! Hilarious!! LOL!
 
@smiling girl - hooh! i gave someone my address last time and that person came over for lunch. so you send me the money first and then i will tell you my address :))

@syanatani - where else do sowmen hide stuff. now you have me all super scandalize girl!!

shreemoyee - i am a but a mere observer madam :)

@perspective - thank you :)
 
You forgot about the "Hidden Pant Pockets" for guys. The ones that are just behind and the side pockets, but could be accessed only by putting the hands inside the pant... as if you were pulling out your underwear....

Have fun
 
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