Sunday, October 08, 2006

Have I seen you before? 

So I rant a lot abt lot of things. Earlier I used to feel bad abt inflicting my complaints on kind readers. Now some of the kinder ones actually expect me to rant. And to all these kind readers, I have my famous bedroom line that I plan to use on my wife during her labour - "Baby when you are expecting, I will try to deliver"!

So what is it that is bugging me right now. To understand this irritation you have to be a member of some social networking site - which for most of the readers of this web log will be Orkut I am guessing. Is it just me or are other people bugged by people who put up photographs of celebrities as their profile snap???

My sister received a message (aka scrap) from someone who thought they had similar interests. Now once you get past the twelve spelling mistakes in the fifteen word scrap this guy left, there's something else that'll catch your attention - it is the picture of this guy. Standing shirtless with his sunglasses on, the dimple in the cheek looked almost uncannily familiar. Hmmm! Who is it? What?? Ohhhhhhhhh! Wow!!!! My sister just got a scrap from none other than John Abraham. Wow!!

So what do we all learn from this scrap and a quick visit to John's profile? a) John Abraham likes my sister, which is not very surprising given his fondness for Bong babes (Ria Sen, Bipasha Basu ...) b) John Abraham can't spell too well and hey that shouldn't matter - coz when you can bike ur spellings can take a hike c) John Abraham likes to make extensive use of bright jarring colors when he writes scraps (hey what's showbiz without a lil sparkle) AND d) John Abraham studied commerce in some college in Gujarat and now works in the BPO industry in Calcutta (ahem, have nothing smartass to write for this one)

And it's not just John Abraham. A quick scanning of Orkut will reveal that Aishwarya Rai, Bipasha Basu, Celina Jaitly, Shahrukh Khan and the Junior B is on it too. And these publicity hungry public figures are not just happy with one profile. They have multiple profiles - I for one have seen 10-15 Aishwarya Rai profiles. Celebrities, I tell you! They will do anything for a little screen time (even it is a laptop screen).

Jokes apart, what the F letter word are these users thinking? Do they seriously expect readers to fall for them thinking that it is their photograph? Yeah sure. I can completely understand when reticent users go for scenic photographs to hide their true identities. A small house is fine. A set of clouds matching your name does justice too. Flowers ... excellento. But Angelina Jolie???? Who are you kidding babes?

And you know what is even funnier? These users seem to attract each other. If you visit their profiles - you'll see three sets of friends who are there on their friend list - a) South American women who have added everyone who sent them a friend request b) some girl called Nidhi or Rita or Nidhi (what's happening to my collection of standard Indian women names) who have seven thousand (oops it just became seven thousand and one) friends - all of whom leave her a scrap saying "Though I haven't met her in person she is a wonderful woman and great friend and very intelligent etc ..." AND c) OTHER CELEBRITIES. Now that sums it up. Our Indian celebrities are anyway known for their snobbishness. So it is understandable that they will only be friends with foreign beauties and other desi celebrities. I mean, come one, isn't it but obvious that Bipasha Basu will have Johny papa on her friend list too (his desires for my sister not withstanding).

So to all readers of this blog, puhleeeeze spend some time on these profiles dear readers. It can be your dose of afternoon mirth. The joy you'll get when you see Salman Khan scrapping Kareena, asking her "Want to make frandship with me beautifool?" is worth the effort.



Thankfully, I have decided against signing up with Orkut. But seems like a mad-mad world out there :)

Keep the hilarious posts flowing in. We really missed them when you took a slumber.
Reached here through Kumar's blog and had a good laugh!

What gets me most irritated is the baby photographs! Own or others'!!

FINE, they are CHHHOOO CHHWWEEETTT and all, but what happened to the out-of-the-box thinking?! Why is everyone after baby-photos?!
I've just been offered special friendship from the don himself! (sigh)
I still can't get over a scrap I got that said "Hello, I am brasillian. Do you want frendelly?"
Did I mention he had a photograph of Superman (the current) complete with red chaddis and cape? I've preserved it for posterity...check my scrapbook.
There you go stealing my Orkut thoughts again! I've been wanting to kick these sad types in the (stolen) face of late too. I mean, are they losers or what? I especially hate this kid I used to know back home who's got a picture of Hrithik Roshan and keeps popping up saying 'hiiii didiiii'!! I don't know if i'm more pissed about that or the Hrithik picture.
In their minds they look like Angelina Jolie and John Abraham (hehe - their inititals are the same, only backwards!), so they just save the effort by using professional pictures . Is it so bad...maybe they do look like them...who knows??? You are just jealous! ;)
The height of the their pathetic way to attract attention: Put up the photo of a leading South Indian star on their profile page and his wedding photos on their photo section. The person even has a complete baby section, teenage with hormones section,etc.. The sad, uninteresting lives they lead.
@manchus - no no. Orkut rocks. you should totally sign up for it. these ppl are just like dessert to a great meal :)

@aparna - ooops. at least two of my friends have baby photographs :P i guess they are still a child at heart (or at least in photographs) :)

@akanksha - which one - the old one or the remake one :D

@ideasmith - cool. now all your air travel is taken care of. good for you woman. good for you :))

@tmm - ha ha :) hey is kkrriisshh calls you did - that is something to be mighty proud of i'd say :)

@qsg - so what if i am jealous - ha? don't tempt me - otherwise i will be forced to put up Bengali Superstar Tapas Pal's pic as my own - and trust me know one wants that :)

@caco - oh yesss. i have seen the man Rajni himself with Tamil strewn on his personal description as well - how authentic :D
Oh well... I'd suggest you create a profile for youself and try launching into the game yourself! And then start maligning one John Abraham from another... start leaving messages on all Aishwarya Rai's scrapbooks saying they look ugly in their pics: a lot will follow, I am sure! :D

While it is a common feature that most of them can't spell, I believe that those who do spell well, and yet send these messages to every orkut belle, are cheaper (than Greg Chapelle? didn't get a good rhyme for the last one. Heh.)
Haha... I hate it too when I see Aishwarya Rai's photo for someone or Leo DiCaprio's for that matter.. sooooo irritating it is..

You are right.. spying on Orkut is one of those things one can do when they have absolutely nothing to do on a Sunday noon... :) A good laugh...
Aacha, why is everyone so critical of Orkut, yet invariably in it? It's basically a shift from the earlier chatroom scenario, right?

And according to my sister, chaps with Yahoo id's prefixed with "cool", "hot", "sexy" et al...like cooldude etc., are invariably the uncoolest and unhottest and unsexiest.
which is just one of the reasons i refuse to be preyed upon by the likes :)) And pray why are you spying on your sister? Let John or Junior B send her scraps. I'm sure she can pick out the phony ones.
Sagnik, some of your posts are really funny, but occasionally the humor is forced.. btw, did you notice greatbong removed your blog from his list? That how I used to get here..
@sudipta - evil evil you :))

@deep - very deep indeed :P

@tsg - not a word abt Leonardo - puhleeeze - come on - they made him sink in cold water :(( how can you do this to him

@rem - orkut rocks :) and have you seen those ids where they have the entire biodata in the id itself - school college - everything

@m - never. john doesnt get to scrap my sister till bipasha scraps me - woman!!!!

@debashish - oh you are being kind. i am never funny. this blog is a serious mode of dicourse man. and greatbong has done something that he should have done long ago - good sense finally prevailed :)
Off somewhere.. on somewhere else!
-Great Me
Oh forget it.. woh gaya bada shaheed banne pyaar mein aur doob gaya... and these guys sport his face.. yikes! :)
I could never exactly grasp the reason behind having an orkut profile. As it is, my friends are complaining that I do not keep in touch with them. May be, I will do some tp at the site, for the heck of it.

This orkut phenomenon, is strikingly similar to the chat thing that descended on us a few years back (chats at random sites, random rooms with random people)

Oh btw....wannna be in my friends network in orkut ;). I promise no rais,sens,basus:)

- The Conscience
My dose of afternoon mirth is randomly clicking one of the links in your archive and checking up / re-reading your old posts :)

This blog has undergone quite an evolution, I should say (going by the post-quality, as well as the number of comments for each post!)
@akanksha - how do i respond to a comment i dont understand :((

@tsg - tumhe yeh log aab kaise moo dikhayengey - yeeeeeah! said whole sentence in Hindi - wohooooo!!

@conscience - how can i refuse my conscience a place in my friend list - you know me best :D

@ganesh - wohoooo! i just realized that a) we are from the same undergrad school and b) we stay in the same place - how cool is that???
Ufff! Buddhu! click on my name>visit the blog listed there>ctrl+f your name> come back and read the comment> pull ur hair out!

PS: Stop giving me such long words for verification x-(
LOL!! loved it!! and orkut is soo "aarrrggghhh"!!
Hehehe.. and I understood it.. :D:D
Btw, when next update??? Update chahiye blog par.. :)
Yes, I knew that :) You were quite popular at BITS, and I had heard quite a bit about you when I was in my first year!

I guess I had checked up your Orkut profile around an year or so back (aha, that is something relevant to your post, now!), and found that we do have some common friends (some guys from my CS batch) :)
hey you seems to find humour out of thin air ...
probably orkut now symblozies "What's in a face a.k.a what's in a name'
@akanksha - as a great man once told me - ooooooooooh! :)

@pinc (howdy like my new name for you) - thanks :)

@tsg - next update coming in a day - guarantee :)

@ganesh - we should totally meet up sometime dude!

@chander - thanks! its not the face nor the name but just the scraps that matter - peace :)
why do great men say silly things! why why why!?!

one question: what was the movie u made for ur film making course abt?
just for this post, you're my hero.

hail sagnik.
die orkut, die.
seeing the way some photos of women have been hijacked for p0rn, i have been suggesting my lady friends to *not* to put their photos in public online. so when you dont put your real photo you just put any photo available.

but of course for the loser types, he he; they are the reason im there. need to take my regular potshots and share of laughs.
good site
good site
good site
good site
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?