Thursday, October 05, 2006


So every year India produces some very bright managers. Graduating classes from the top notch B schools are almost equally divided amongst the would be financial gurus and the marketing whiz kids. The best marketing talents are lapped up by companies that make them weave dreams out of thin air. The second tier marketing folks try their hand at mediocre branding initiatives where they try to put a 'Z' at the end of names (or is it namez) to make things sound cooler (ala DreamZ and GetZ). However, there is a group of marketing graduates who are recruited by the bottom rung of branding initiatives and this is the group where Indian Men's Underwear feature. Yeah, no kidding! Moi is convinced that the worst minds of the World try their hand(!) in naming Indian Men's Underwear. Wanna read more? Proceed at your own risk ...

"Hey babes, what's playing peekaboo through your T shirt?" you playfully ask your girl friend here.
"That's a Secret. A Victorian Secret if I may say so," she smartly answers.

Now imagine this same conversation, the other way round in India.

"Hey hunneee what do you have behind that pair of torn jeans?" the girl asks.
Her lover, the moustached hero, answers coyly, "I have Raju inside my pants"!!!!!

GROSSSSSSS! Yup! Grosssssss! Why, why, why - did somebody name an underwear brand that gets placed directly on the arse with the same name that belongs to a quarter of our country's male population? What was the rationale? What were they thinking? No man can anymore tell his lady love during a moment of flirtatious seduction, "Baby, what say tonight we have nothing between us. Not even a Secret ... and definitely not Raju" :O

And it doesn't end with Raju. My kin, the Bengalis, took it one notch higher. The most common Bengali brand of underwear for men is called Bapi, which, hold your breath, means FATHER!!!!! Seriously, this one marketing disaster is enough to send an entire generation running to the shrinks. For the select few who still haven't got shocked enough, imagine this - You are sitting in a restaurant having food and the guy in the table in front of you bends down. For starters, men should seriously never (NEVER EVER) assume/presume that their hairy butt crack is a sight worth watching. So puhleeeeeze, keep your ifs and butts well hidden. But, just in case you ever happen to catch a glimpse of this horrific shot, the last thing you want is to have your dad's name on an elastic next to it. Aaaaaarrrrghhh!!!!

And it's not just Raju and Bapi. There are countless other examples of shoddy marketing disasters in this area. How abt VIP Bonus. "Baby, be good to me and you can have a peak at the Bonus??" Is it just me or does Bonus, in context of an underwear, sound like a combination of Bone and Ass. Yikes, yikes. Or how abt our Frenchie?? For all the people who've asked me why I don't grow a French beard (affectionately called a Frenchie in my homeland) - go figure now. Then there is Amul. Now come on. Amul used to be my favorite breakfast spread. I could eat any volume of Amul with my bread. Did you have to spoil it for me by launching Amul briefs. Toast was never the same for me after that :(

Now compare this with "Babes, I think I have some Gap left for you inside?" Which one sounds better?? I rest my case.


LOL...you never mentioned Rupa and Tantex (which sounds suspiciously like Spandex to me).
Ha ha aha... and you forget the P3 brand! Must have been a geek who came up with that!! :D
Why do you always have to get under* a topic?
ROFL... Oh my God.. I am laughing sooo hard.. and I think I am incapable of commenting anything more on this.. :)

But I did notice that you didnt mention Rupa..(Cmon, I didnt forget Govinda modelling!) and also Lux... :D
@ideasmith - wasn't rupa a woman's undergarment brand - once again, my knowledge in this field is limited :)

@sudipta - driven by P3 inside :D

@bindhu - now come on, get over it :)

@tsg - Lux - i wanted to actually mention that and forgot - i stopped using soap after that :(( coz i dont want something to touch my face that also touches my - arrrrrrgh!!!!
uhm .. chances are, if you've got a gap inside your pants ... 'babes' will wanna run. :-[
so, no, that doesn't sound any better than 'i'm a vip below the belt', or even, god forbid, 'undo my bapi'.
hehe nice post.
oh and the ads for the various brand names..those were the best part.
in one the hero shares his success formula
"mere pas hai maa ka diya hua aashirwaad, aur vip bonus underwear."

and how could you forget Lux underwear with the tag line...'yeh andar ki baat hai"
Remembered this j/k on Rupa heard long back,
"Agar pehnoge Rupa ke underwear aur baniyaan.... to bechari Rupa kya pehnegi"
Zs after name, and you forgot the X before names.
Dude, you forgot Fruit of Loom
It beats Bapi, Frenchie, the works

Amit Behere
Hahaha... You stopped using Lux or soap in general? ;)
Btw, what was that ad with the guy in breifs saving the girl from a gunda... you forgot that also.. :P
Suitcase use karna chod diyekya? ;):)
In Texas TANTEX stands for Telugu Association of North TEXas. When I was offered a membership for this TANTEX I thought wow... TANTEX underwear is famous in texas and they want me to be a member...
No, no, not Bapi as in Baba kimba Bapi, but Bapi as in daaknaam Bapi.

Have you never met a Bong with that nickname? There are plenty in my mom's village.
How can you forget "Young India"?

Did you stopped being young in India?? :))
the post was funny, the comment by rainbeau_peep was funnier :D Sagnik, don't tell anyone you have some GAP left in your pants :p
considering the body part it covers, i think anyone wearing 'macroman' is just trying to show off. :D
ha ha ha ha ha ha
this was simply hilarious ..the blog as well as the comments.
whenever i see these ads nexttime will remember u..i think gals brands have better names.
@rainbeau_peep - with a name like peep you make fun of me - ha? :D personally i like CnK but having Calvin and Klein inside you is a lot worse i think :)

@australopithecus - i wont say anything till you tell me what that name means :D

@anon1 - yup :) MTV even had ajoke on this one :)

@dusty - X-actly :)

@behere - what :O where did that come from????

@smiling-girl - soap in general - so its not just a dirty mind you see :P

@anon2 - and now i learned something new :)

@thalassa - this just means its worst for Bengali dads with nickname Bapi :D

@manchus - that's a new one for me :O

@anon3 - thanks and arrrrgh or liking peeep's stuff :)

@ch@ry - now that's what i call a good name :)

@risha - thanks but i shudder to think that you will associate me with underwear :D
nice post!:)
Haha... Now I know where those dirty jokes come from.. :P
I HAVE to say this. My dad's daaknaam is Bapi. Oh shock, oh horror!

And you missed our fellow blogger DD :D

Also, for once, I have nutthing vile and evil to add. This was wonderful!
@xyz - thanks :)

@tsg - what dirty jokes? what are you talking abt? who are you talking abt? :P

@rimi-boudi - thanks thanks :)
Amul chaddi and baniyan. EEEEKS. Man that ad turned me off butter too. On behalf of all the B-school marketing types please accept my apologies.

And what about Gopal? And imagine which cool marketing dude coined Swagat underwear.
Q:'What do I get if I take off your shirt?'

Just a thought, now that you are in the States, can you still say that you have Dollar in your shirt or jeans.
was just passing by blogger and came across ur blog and this post. Reminded me of the mtv spoof that went like this: "agar tumne.. agar tumne (waah waah!!).. rupa ki.. agar tumne rupa ki (waah waah kya baat hai!).. gaur farmaiyega.. agar tumne rupa ki.. (waah!).. baniyan pehan li.. (excitement builds!).. to phir. to phir.. Rupa kiski pehnegi!!??.. btw great posts!
Oh yes.. who am I talking about.. :P:P:P
Btw, ab next update next weekend kohi milega kya?? :)
You were talking about the Nav bar by any chance? *trying to think hard to find something to think about*
Just check the reply I posted on my blog.. :) (no patience to copy+paste it here.. :))
awesome blog ! I would like to add to the above weird names. There is this brand called "poombukar" in south. Especially in chennai. Its actually the name of a city which no more exists in south india. Imagine you have to say you have a city inside your jeans :)
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