Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Usual Suspects! 

A friend of mine from the fairer sex recently made this statement "It doesn't matter what you're wearing, as long as you have the right sunglasses to go with it." Another friend of mine spends fortunes on purses. 30% of the women I know have spent more time in shoe shops than in classrooms. All this made me take some time off to think abt these feminine extravagances and I even discussed it with a few other male friends. The result was unanimous - Women, you've got it all wrong. Agreed, Sex and the City was a cool show. Agreed Carey and her friends were trend setters. But allowing these Emmy winning fictional characters to perform magic tricks with your money - it's just insane!!!

Seriously. I think television has totally manipulated the female mind. Why else would they worry so much about shoes? Do you realize that of all the things you wear - that's the one item that has the highest probability of coming in contact with real sh!t (I'm assuming basic hygiene from you when I make that assumption) and still you spend a week's worth of food money on shoes? Shoo away! High heels, pencil heels, slip ons, hooker boots - why o why o why do you need one of each variety. And it's not just one of each variety - it's one of each color in each variety. And it's not just one of each color of each variety - it's one of each brand in each color of each variety. Now come on! I agree that variety is the spice of life but do you really want your food to be that spicy????

Now let's analyze the second culprit - purses. Please don't get "purse-onal" here ladies. Think rationally. The objective of a purse is to HOLD money and NOT blow it. If a small engraved label at the corner of your purse makes you shed a couple of big greens then I'd say go old school and keep your money close to your heart woman. My wise dad always told me that if you ever wear something that's more valuable than you are, then a thug won't think twice before attacking you for that thing. Now, let's be honest hear. Dad also thinks that Libido is a form of exotic dessert. So let's not over value every word he says. But in this case I think my old man does make sense. So keep your purses light, crappy and empty - will ya?

And now sunglasses. You know why they are so bloody dark? Coz the moment you spend a fortune buying one of them you are no longer in a position to make eye contact with anyone. You know you are ashamed and the shades just help you hide the shame. Seriously. One sunglass is fine. Two is cool too. But twelve freaking sunglasses to go with every dress you have???? All I can say is "I've shade enough on this topic" (note to self - Sagnik, your standard of puns is fast decreasing)!!!

Seriously. Look at us men. If we have a lot of money (I have no idea how that feeling is though) we buy cars. They take us from point A to point B. They move. They are big. They can hold a lot of purses. They can hold a lot of sunglasses. They can hold a lot of women with a lot of purses and sunglasses. That's what I call an investment. If we have even more money then we spend it on a house and we all know that these houses can hold many such cars!

I agree that occasionally we men have been known to spend a lot of money on alcohol but then if you're drunk enough, you reach a level so high where shoes, purses and all other things appear immaterial to you. That's us men. Ain't we deep?

P.S. Can some discerning female reader please explain to me the obsession with shoes, purses and sunglasses.


Glad to be the first to comment this time.
As usual, Hillarious!!
you need to understand that if we women dont spend time shopping and discussing & re-discussing them, we will have to spend more time with 'boring men' ;), so its a kill either way, you decide how :)
Bhery Good.

And about why and the hows, mention not.

Yes, really.
Just chnaced upon your blog and well written!!quite funny!!somethings are better left unexplained!!!!
@Sagnik Da

I second, third and fourth your motion totally... your punning has reached an all time low... geez (LMAO)

The thing about shoes, I donno...

the thing about sunglasses... I donno...

but the thing about purses... I think it is the same reason why there are six pockets on six-pockets... why why why are there six pockets on a pair of trousers?


Love, laughter n keep the Faith

You're not going to get it sagnik :))) so quit trying. You have your playstations and cars and electronic gadgets and power tools. We have shoes and purses and sunglasses (really?huh?)to keep us happy. And its all about feeling good, right?
Its all one big marketing plot to sell useless stuff. And why stop at shoes,purses and sunglasses...what about diamonds and Valentine's day gifts? What about overpriced lingerie from Victoria Secrets?
What's your problem if women spend money on accessories? A gay bastard like you should just worry getting a good fuck once in a while !
@sunita - hey what would you rather have a boring rich man or a exciting party pauper :P

@the anonymous - ok, if you say so i will not mention :D

@ayshu - thanks :)

@nandy jr - yup! no man needs six pockets and if they ever do - they bloody well carry a brief case with them :)

@m - hey those playstations are just to avoid shopping with the fairer sex - once they stop that we will just stop being playful :D

@anyesha - oh i so wanted to talk abt lingerie myself but somehow managed to refrain :) thanks fro bringing it up - maybe a whole post on that topic pretty soon!!

@anonymous (i think i know who this is) - i wanted to delete the comment because some might think it is offensive but i also find it funny - and humor is worth an insult if that's what it takes :)
Oh it is simple! Only, you have to stand in a woman's shoes, fidget around her purse and look at the world through her sunglasses to understand it! :)

On a more serious note, I kind-of agree with M(tread softly upon)'s comment. I think that explains it.
Not all women are obsessed with Purses,Shoes and Shades.

I carry the same old big bag everyday and always have one favourite shoe that I will wear until it is worn out. I hate to change shoes...if I do, I feel like I will trip down. And shades..sadly can never indulge in them. It always has to be prescription sunglasses!!

But for those women who love them, there is nothing wrong in it.

Actually, I have known guys who were/are more obsessed about sunglasses and shoes. Wish they also carried 'purse' like Seinfeld.
Oiy.. what do you know about the pleasure one gets in bargaining with the shop-walla and then rejecting it after he comes down to your price.. :D

Same is the pleasure derived in shopping for same things in different varieties and colors.. after all, its spending the man's money, right? :D

Thats not the obsession... its just the need to be perfect in their dresses... chod do.. mard logon ki samjh se door hain perfection.. :P
I think its good to hang out once in a while to buy matching accessories.. When I mean accessories, I mean everything.. Purses, shoes, bangles, ear-rings..

But I also have to tell that whatever I purchase, the total cost comes up to at the most 1 to 1.5 K. But ask my brothers who spend 2 - 3 k on a single pair of blue/white/black trousers..
i second manchus's comments
i know guys who are obsessed with sunglasses and shoes and own not one or two but dozens...
so trends have changed and tide is going the other way
so this post of yours could be valid if it was posted some years earlier..
I too kind of thought about sunglasses bit couple of years ago. I would have to say and has been confirmed by my female friends, "They help you to avoid contact with others." - Meaning .. if you want to stare down a handsome hunk, you can still be discreet or if you want to look at a female's accessory without asking, it helps and ofcourse the right pair helps us to discern the beauties with least effort.
@sudipta - i would if i could - it is physically impossible for me to stand in those shoes man :)

@manchus - men obsessed with sunglasses?? i know a lot o fmen and i seriously don't know any guy who owns more than 2 sunglasses - i am so back dated :((

@tsg - :) i guess that is another thing i will never understand - the pleasure of spending your man's money - ha ha!!

@bindu - clearly your brothers are paying way too much for their jeans - they should contact me - for a small consultation fee i will refer them to some great shops :D

@anonymous - as i said in reply to machus's comment - i am so back dated :((

@kausum (sounds like an Ekta Kapur serial) - i know exactly what you mean - i actually posted abt this exact thing a long time back! +1 to that :)
@ Sagnik Da

Nandy Junior maney ki??? ami kobey tomar cheley holaam??? tomakey dada dakchi, tumi amakey cheley dakcho... chi chi... ki byapaar???


Love, laughter n keep the Faith

You sure have a lot of filthy rich (girl) friends around. Look at normal girls around and you won't find any such wierdos in there :)
I own a lot of bags(mostly jholas frm janpath which cost 50 bucks:D).. but that's coz i keep losing things in my room. So the more bags i have.. the fewer digs i'll have to conduct! same applies to footwear.. nd almost everything else I own!

btw had sent a mail with a request. did that ever reach u?
u see, a purfect shoe for each occassion.
for eg :
looking tall : a six inches.
beating a guy : another high healed but not so costly one
flat shoe : for comfort
a blue, a black, beige, more and more black ones : to go with dresses.
and did i tell u about those speciall cheap 85-100 bucks shoes ? they are purfect for scaring all types of dogs away.

And bags/ purses ? well, we dont have pockets in salwar suits or sarees. and after all "ghar ki laxmi" ko purse mein "laxmi " rakhna bhi toh hai !
ROTFL! But, its these small little adornment keeps women interested in fashion. You cannot take the same purse or wear one pair of shoes with everything. It just DOESN'T work man. Imagine if your point was true there wudn't have been such flourishing fashion industry.
@junior - if i got married at the right age, i would have children of ur age by now :D so it's all good i guess :)

@tweety - hey mind your words :) haven't you seen what one of the anonymous commenters said when i angered her wrath - do you want to be next in her bad books :P

@akanksha - ok, maybe i am not getting this right - you buy more stuff coz you cant find the existing stuff - very interesting :)) i just checked my other account and found your email - i rarely check that account these days - but not to worry - it's all good :))

@debalina - i hate to accept it but i see reason in your comment - just make sure that you dont but pointed heels when it comes to bashing the men up :D

@pallavi - darn, you make me feel like (a) fashion illiterate and (b) enemy of the fashion business :((
@ Sagnik Da

I totally agree (violently nodding head up and down)... And Debalina does bash the guy in her life with pointy heels!!! he he... I would know...

Love, laughter n keep the Faith

hmmm, you know, i think the answer to your rather expounded upon question :) is.....lets be enigmatic for you. RNT said something like this in his poems...

" As my frail canoe struggles to cross the sea of desire, I forget that I too am playing a game."

and he was a guy....thats my retort to the post. :) figure out, dr. nandy-da.
Oh yes.. the pleasure of spending ur man's money though you have yours! :D .. Incomparable pleasure!

Btw, update chahiye mujhe... tumhare blog par.. :D
Nandyg update?
Whooaa... looks like someone has been neglecting this place for a bit too long... Update chahiye mujhe... :)
heyyy u forgot abt jeans and bracelets...trust me they r the things that interest almost all women the MOST :)...n yea hving 12 pair of sunglasses is absolutely normal dude!!!:) n shoes ya of course we need shoes that match the dresses we wear! i mean i really donno y u guys mk sucha big fuss over all this! :)
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