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Sunday, October 22, 2006

You gotta be kidding! 

A lot of traveling and driving has been taking place. Kind readers who offer free leg massages can contact me and I'll avail any deal they offer :) Strict instructions had been sent from parents to leave aside my (what they think is) snooty self and do all things touristy with my sister. My consent towards this act was lapped up by my sis, who made me stop in front of every thing worth taking a photograph next too, and made me go clickety click. By the end of the day my legs were aching and the heart was echoing a similar pain, while my sister was still all agog and going "Ok, now one photograph with King Kong!" But however bad I feel abt walking and driving around LA, I feel sadder for the little kids I saw. Walking around the studios I noticed a zillion little children, who could barely understand the difference between their fathers and Shrek, being pushed around endlessly by their parents. Some of them were crying, some just decided to doze off and others looked around haplessly. It's then that I thought of all the things that we as adults do to children and it amused me a fair bit.

We all love children. They are small, cute and blow split bubbles - what's not to like? But do you think they feel the same way about us adults? Have you ever wondered what two little ones discuss when they are left with each other by their respective parents?

NB1 (Newbie 1) - Wassup man?

NB2 - Don't even get me started man. I feel no one understands me. I'm so glad I found you.

NB1 - Seriously!! What's wrong with these adults. Why do they all forget that they were all like us once too.

NB2 - Seriously. I've been crying all day and they have no freakin idea what I'm saying. Can you believe what my mom did to me? She has started putting make up on me. I'm eight months man!! Why would anybody put some black charcoal like thing on my eyes that I'll smear up in two minutes. It's freakin insane.

NB1 - What? Make up? And that too you are a boy man. You are so going to be confused when you grow up. *Chuckle chuckle*

NB2 - No kidding. I guess my mom misses dressing up a girl. That doesn't mean she makes a Boy George out of me buy making me wear little pink dresses. Whatevah!

NB1 - And what's this with the diaper crap dude? Which moron invented that?? A pant that ensures that you remain in a puddle of your own sh!t? It was so much easier when I would just crawl to the mom's part of the bed and take a dump there. Now it's like carrying a back pack on your a!s@ ... and to top it, the backpack is full of sh!t.

NB2 - Oh the diaper I can still deal with but it's the cheek pressing that drives me nuts man. I hear that people get jailed when they do that without consent once you grow up. Why can't they have the same law for us? Do you think I enjoy rough hands pulling my cheeks.

NB1 - Seriously. And what's with the whole cooochie poochie crap they say when they pull your cheek. Come on man, I am the one who is one and can't speak - not you!!!

NB2 - Hey cheek pulling is still harmless but one of my uncles think it's very cool to throw me in mid air and catch. If he's that interested in catching live human beings he should do the same with his fat wife, not a tender eight month old. They should have a law against that ... and against tickling. I don't want people tickling me on my baby fat. It's just not done man.

NB1 - Yeah! These adults seriously have no idea about safety. My dad makes me sit on his neck as he walks me around. I suffer from vertigo already.

NB2 - Hey hey. Shhhhhh! I hear them coming. Sounds like your dad. They will probably take us to the other room and have people press our cheeks again. Pretend to sleep. Shhhhhh!

NB1 - I hate pretending to sleep for fifteen hours a day man. It is boring. But I see your point. It was nice talking to you man.

NB2 - Same here. We should do this more often *wink wink*

Sounds possible???

Comments:
oshadharon imagination dada!
 
when my baby comes.. I'll ban kajal in my city!! the damned thing ruined all my baby pics!
nice post btw!
 
Ha ha ha haha ha... awesome! And no difference between Shrek and the fathers? :))

On a different note, have you seen two infants greeting each other? One tries to see if the other has elastic lips, and meanwhile the victim usually initiates himself into the fine art of slapping in no time. And the part when one tumbles over only to set the other on a cartwheel is priceless! :)
 
@anon - thank you very much bhai :)

@akanksha - sadly, in spite of being a guy the kajal did ample damage to my childhood photographs too :((

@sudipta - awesome!! brilliant observations abt the two baby activities :) wah wah!
 
Amazing observation!! Now I can imagine what my little one is thinking ....oh btw she is sleeping...errr..acting :) Actually, I hate Kajal and I have banned it in my house. To my MIL and Mom I have said, the doctor said not to apply. So all arguments stand invalid ..evil me.
 
this was just like one of those Look who's talking movies. LOL.
 
When asking for a leg massage, did you mean a massage by a leg?

:-)

A wonderful post.
 
@manchus - oh thank you sooo much for banning kajal - but do expose your little one to the gorgeous KAJOL aka mrs. devgan :)

@m - except that no story of mine will ever have dogs in it :D

@jinguchaka - depending on whose leg we are talking abt - that wont be a bad idea either :)
 
Seems like a conversation between thirteen-nineteen year olds rather than kids
 
hilarious post.
kajal - the natural one, i've heard is good for the eye.
and tossing the kids up n down - ur specimens cases (NB1 & 2) seem to be exceptions - most kids i've seen seem to love it. of course, i'm as good as u r in deciphering what they say/mean :)
 
haan aan!! Seems to match all except for those love bites offered by these little angels!!!

Is that their way of revenge? ;)
 
ha ha...good topic.
oh btw, its not just the boys who are dressed up like girls. The mothers of baby girls take it to the next level by dressing the girl in some fuzzy pricky frilly pink frock to make her look cute. Its so sad to see how uncomfy the kid feels and cries all the time .
And the moment they cross the age of 1, you see them in ghagracholi and lipstick and lots of jewellery. Its outright torture on the poor girls.
 
Possible. But they NEVER pretend to sleep. Would be nice though. :)
 
@anonymous - these young people i tell you - they mature so much faster these days :D

@dharmabum - i know that the kids seem to like it but that freaks me out even more - can you imagine being tossed up and down by some guy with the sole support being his aim - wooof :O

@bindu - you betcha :)

@tweety - and don't forget baby jewellery - i feel no girl's ears should be pierced until she grows up and decudes too - the navel however can be pierced coz a lot of woman decide against it and i like it - so might as well get it pierced when the small :))

@ph - you are saying 15 hours aint enuff??? :)
 
I visit this place everyday looking for a new post.. *sigh*.. guess you'e not as jobless as me!
 
ha ha ...kotha theke ei shob idea ashe urbar mastishke :)
--sandeepa
 
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