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Sunday, March 11, 2007

Straight talk! 

So over the weekend me and a male colleague of mine decided to go shopping. "What and Why?" you question with a raised eyebrow. Brace yourself - you aint the first person to question the activity. Another friend of ours raised similar questions too with the "Aren't both of you confirmed heterosexuals" look. So I did what any sensible man facing such a question in this century would do - post on my blog abt it.

I think the society is strangely skewed in its choice of activities the sexes are allowed to do together. Every time I hit the malls, I see tons of women who come to shop by themselves. Two women, all dressed up, giggly, trying out different clothes and asking each other questions like "too short?", "too low?" "does my stomach show?". Perfectly fine. No one questions them and their motives. Now imagine two guys doing that. Imagine me walking into a store with my male friend and trying out a shirt and asking him "too tight?" "will this go with green?" Yeah!! You can't imagine that - can you?

So let me spell it out again - two fully dressed men in an attempt to dress themselves further will appear queer in our society but (yes, the quintessential but) boxing - that is just fine. Seriously. The act of two almost naked men, wearing nothing but literally boxing shorts, touching each other while sweating is perceived to be an act of oozing machoness but the thought of the same two guys buying shirts together is strange!!!! The same holds true for working out. Two buddies pumping those heavy weights in the gym is completely fine - where one man in his sweaty T shirt standing right above his buddy's face, helping him do bench press is fine - but the same two men if seen in a classy restaurant, eating dinner together in formals, will be questioned. Oh yes, that brings me to restaurants. Isn't it strange that we draw the line across some special kind of restaurants - two men having burgers in a fast food restaurant is cool (coz they are buddies grabbing a quick snack) but if they go to a sushi bar by themselves then it is not (coz then people think that they are just buddies try to grab each other while they snack).

Which is why I love Indian men. Coz we all know that Indian men hate it more than anybody else to have their sexuality questioned. At the same time most acts Indian men (or Indian men I bump into) do together are ... err ... quite questionable - going for Friday night movies together, always having their arms around each other while taking photographs, going to the sea beach all by themselves and then running into the water and splashing each other??? Sounds familiar? Yes, these are some of our favorite bonding moments. But we never come across as questionable because Indian men follow the rule of the jungle - whatever you do, DO IT IN HERDS!! Yes, Indian men flock in large quantities. Coz we know that two men hugging and taking photographs is queer but twelve of them doing it is just plain old weird and we are fine with weird!! This is the same reason why you can safely go to any night club in areas with high desi population and see a dozen Indian men dancing together and still not question their sexuality. Pretty neat, heh?

Society and its biases - I will never understand :(

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Comments:
i really feel sorry for u guys! i personally feel its very very silly to be questioned abt ur sexuality just because 2 guys do things together...the west claims to be 'too developed' and 'ultra sophisticated' to percieve simple things normally....they complicate stuff way too much mking us think twice to hv the simple fun of hanging out with the same sex...sheesh!!! double sheesh!!!
 
when u say DO IT IN HERDS, do u literally mean EVERYTHING?!!
 
Hahaha.. this just reminds me that my American colleague was totally taken aback to see two other colleagues walk hand in hand... :)... it freaked him out totally..

But then u r right... this way we are little predujiced... :)
 
Sagnikda,
You "love indian men"? *raised eyebrow* :-) I feel indian men do "stuff" in herds because of the lack of options. If a desi guy has the option of going to a movie with a girl do you think he will opt for the "herd activity" instead?

By the way, on a completely different note, I saw this girl today who reminded me of tulip joshi and I consider it my duty to let you know of anything remotely tulip joshi:D
 
Nice post!
Yes it is completely unfair to single out men bonding like that, we have great fun in giggling duos or groups so I can imagine the fun of your bonding over clothes/movies/sushi whatever...
 
@xyz - thanks for the sympathy - now if only a guy had offered this it would have been so strange!!!

@i7 - cheeh! dirty mind :D

@tsg - oh that's a common one. an Indian friend of mine got into an argument with someone because of that :(

@irc - sagnik da??? da? i am no ones da :D no reply for you till you take back the da part :)

@shreyasi - i am almost tempted to believe you are genuinely sympathetic but then you goggle woman :) why o why?
 
haha, this reminds me of the time me and a friend went to have lunch (bloody work got us both delayed) but since it was valentine's day people just assumed! It was good fun watching the expressions on their face :)
 
SagnikDA,
Dukhkho pelaam :( Tulip boudikey boley debo.
 
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LOL..yeah we must try n change the way we think..but then what will we have to laugh about.:)
 
Funny that everyone sees this but only you managed to write a blog on this.

But it's true. Not only in India, but also elsewhere. The past one and a half year that I have been living in Dhaka, I have observed this among Bangladeshi men. People don't think anything of holding hands when they are walking or walking with arms around each others shoulders. Or going to movie alone with another guy on Friday evenings. Ewww.
 
LOL...i've noticed that too and only after I've lived in the US for so many years. I never found that weird when I was in cal :) But now it freaks me out!
 
reminds me of something my teacher used to say to us girls "You girls have a an advantage..u go around in a group and u'll b called a group..guys do teh same and they'll b called a gang" (as if they were definitely upto some criminal activity;)) poor ladke log.. ;)
 
Brilliant! Please post more on the same topic.
 
This one is absolutely funny...loved it..btw..have u been questioned abt ur sexuality when you have a night out with one of ur boys?
 
and you disappear again...
 
Uhh...I am linking to this article on my blog, inspired to write on Metrosexualism!
 
Arrey...only two men secure enough about their sexuality can do things like going shopping together and wearing pink and all that razzmatazz that is considered sissy. Ami to boli bindaas lege thakoon Dada!
 
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